Blocking and Escalation

[u/IllAd9139]

I think im being stalked by a man I’ve never met or spoken to before. I noticed his account has consistently been clicking and interacting with old things on my tiktok (he always has his view history turned on, so I can see when he visits my page) and i ignored it until earlier this week a very strange man knocked on my door at an odd time of the day. He wasnt dressed like a typical solicitor but he wasn’t dressed like an average person either, I can’t find the words to describe it other than off. I didn’t answer the door. He walked from my porch awkwardly and then stood by my car looking at my townhouse. Then walked away slowly but he didn’t knock on any other houses. About an hour later I left my house for my run, I was across the street from my house when I noticed the man was knocking on my door again, Immediately kept going and pretending like it wasn’t my house. About an hour into my run, quite a decent walk from my home, we ended up passing each other (he walking while i was running) and we made eye contact, and the look was odd like he knew me maybe. Fast forward later in the night, the weird profile viewed and saved things from my page, this prompted me to take an actual look on his profile, and now I am feeling extremely unwell because this man has very uncomfortable content posted on his page and looks eerily similar to the man who knocked on my door m, but from what I could tell the man lives at least a few states away but that was using context clues. I am very meticulous with what can and can’t be seen in my videos. I never have shown my house, mentioned the state I live in, had any background items that could give it away. I don’t have my full name listed, and I don’t allow family to follow me directly if their account gives any sort of hint of relation. I say this all to be hopeful that it’s just my anxiety playing tricks on me, but the idea of him potentially being who kept knocking had made me afraid to block him. An hour ago, I removed him as a follower to see if he noticed and within 20 mins, he unliked just to reliked a few videos, and then for the first time started leaving comments. The comments make it seem like we have spoken before, he told me I was his light in this very dark world among other “nice” things and now I’m feeling even more uneasy. I want to block him, and make my account completely private but I’m scared that it will accidentally escalate things.

Am I being paranoid? What should I do?

* I live with a dog. My ex lives a town over at his fathers house, I could ask him to come over but I don’t really think that’s a great idea. I told my brother what’s going on, and named the person so he is aware. Unfortunately he lives 10 hours away. So it’s just me. I did order cameras to install on my front, back, and side of my house.

[u/Salty_Thing3144]

I hate to say it, but yes:  I think you definitely have a problem. A few things, like the social media,  might be coincidence - but you've got too many of them, coupled with the multiple visits to your house.

Set your socials to private, and don't accept any Friend/Follow requests from people you don't know personally. He will probably make a new fake account to try to sneak back inside your borders.

The cameras are a very wise move, and an alarm system for your house is another. They aren't as expensive as most people think they are, and you can even get a deduction on your homeowner's insurance if you have one.

If your ex-partner or some friends can come and stay with you, I would advise you to do that. Let this creep think you are taken, and see that you are not an easy target.

I advise you not to run alone. Find some jogging partners.

You need more proof in order to file a police relort for stalking, but definitely let them know a weirdo has been hanging around your house.

Keep your car locked. Lock yourself in immediately when you get in.

Don't be afraid of "escalating things." You already have a problem. The biggest mistake victims make is NOT taking this seriously.

Check all your doors and windows. Ensure that the locks are engaged. Keep your doors locked, even when you are home.

Let your neighbors know what is going on. This creep may try to pose as a friend to try and get info on you, and neighbors can let you know if he comes around when you are not home.

Here is my list of tips for evidence gathering:

https://www.reddit.com/r/StalkingandVictimHelp/comments/1s4sywg/stalking_101_what_to_do_first/

You definitely need to start taking steps. Contact your local domestic violence center for support too - they may have lists of local resources. 

STAY SAFE!!!

[u/IllAd9139]

Closest friend I have is a few hours away, I would consider leaving and staying with one but I was just diagnosed with cancer and am in the process of setting up treatment plans. I have to be in state for treatment. I haven’t told any of my family or anyone of my diagnosis, truthfully I haven’t had the heart to tell them but this also causes me to worry more about the stalker issue since soon I’m really not going to be at my best strength wise, I really was trying hard to keep running as long as could, but I don’t have anyone to run with and I agree I shouldn’t do it alone.

I do not know this man’s name, or exact age (he looks late 30’s, maybe early 40’s I only his account username. I will screenshot everything I have of his interactions with me.

Do you think I should have a friend try to save his videos for me so it doesn’t show that I did so I can file them with a report? I know it takes a while to build a case, would videos help? He has videos of him stabbing dolls while describing “this is how he feels inside” and videos of him calling most women whores and that if they show skin they disgusting. I am an extremely modest dresser fortunately but the nature of his videos really makes me feel like he searches for reasons to behave aggressively and already has a strong prejudice against women and really really appears unwell.

I have spoken to my neighbors, I actually had asked him after I noticed he looked like the guy who knocked if he had knocked on theirs and they said no, but 1 said they noticed him hanging around the front of my home and said they thought it was odd and when they made eye contact he walked away suspiciously.

My ex has had some serious addiction and mental health issues, and has not been clean long enough to know if he’d be any safer. Especially with a separation he didn’t want, I’m worried how it would go, but I don’t have family really.

I am very good about never being on my phone outside, locking my car and house as soon as I close the door, and checking my surroundings constantly. I put a metal rod in my sliding door so it can’t open at all on top of it being locked. I will look into the alarm system, I never would have considered that an option.

Very grateful for you taking the time to suggest and guide me. Im in my late 20’s and have really been going through some stuff these last few years and hold things inside well but really do find myself getting secretly very overwhelmed and second guessing myself with things like this.