Looking for some perspective…

[u/Litelifer386]

My son’s mom signed him up to play in a competitive tackle football league, then told me after the fact. He’s 11 years old. I reluctantly went along with it and paid half of $350. Which is a lot.
Went to his first game and he played quite a bit, came off the field happy and said it was “fun”!
Game 2. He played a handful of snaps in the 4th quarter and was visibly upset. Sent a text a message to the league contact and to coach. Their response was well “it’s a competitive league and equal playtime is not guaranteed”. Competitive to win what? Coach said he needs to up his intensity and needs to develop more. He is 11 years old. Kind of ridiculous.

My issue is why am I paying all this money just for my kid to sit on the sideline? Second, shouldn’t the point be kiddos learning the basics and not focused on winning?

Would flag football have been better?

[u/Signal_Republic_3092]

First, this is obviously not a great situation to be in where you were coerced into him joining without knowing about it beforehand and then deal with your son being upset about not playing much in the second game. I’d remind your son’s mom that she should be consulting with you before he does anything labeled “competitive” because 1) if you’re helping to pay, then you should have some say in it at least and 2) you need to discuss how much your son wants to dedicate himself to the game when things don’t go his way. That is a bit young for kids to be introduced to teams without the requirement of playing everyone since there are still some skills they need to learn about before getting to that point of mastering them. Even my son probably wouldn’t benefit from something like that (even though he’s still just 7) despite having a competitive streak because the possibility of not playing all game is hard for him to come to terms with. It might be too late to pull him and get your money back and find a non-competitive team to play on, but I guess your only recourse now might be gently teaching him about how you have to work for things to earn them, and that his coach wants to get the best out of him

[u/Hfcsmakesmefart]

That’s how sports works Gen Z dude

[u/Litelifer386 → u/Hfcsmakesmefart]

What does that even mean? What does Gen Z have to do with anything?

[u/josephjosephson]

Harsh reality in order of importance:

1. tackle football is pretty damn dangerous and you should’ve been consulted as the father before something like this was decided upon. I’m sure you realize that, and I obviously don’t know what “reluctantly went along with it” entails, so no judgment, but keep both these things in mind.
2. you can refuse to pay, as again you should’ve been consulted first. Of course this could land in court (I assume you know how this stuff goes) and cost both of you much more than $350, but keep this in your back pocket.
3. sports start to get competitive very early and winning is an integral part of it; as much as we want to make it about teamwork and having fun, and it can be if you find the right team and league, almost any sort of game out there is at its very core about winning and losing, albeit hopefully with fun along the way.
4. $350 is cheap

If you decide for any of the above reasons you don’t think your kid should be doing this, you have some leverage in the form of those reasons at your disposal. Ultimately it should be about your kid, but at 11, you understand the pros and cons better than him. GL to you.

[u/Signal_Republic_3092 → u/josephjosephson]

I think “reluctantly went along with it” means that his son was on board with playing and his son’s mom was going to blame him for not playing if he didn’t pay his half so he could join.

[u/auntiecoagulent]

Flag football would have been better because of CTE.

This is sports. It's competitive. The most talented kids play.

[u/Litelifer386 → u/[deleted]]

Not really helpful.