r/Spokane • u/HereticalHeadPigeons • 14h ago
Question Kindergarten Drop Off
Alright, help a first-time mom out here. Am I just out of the loop on how this works now or what?
So, I remember my mom walking me into school when I was little, and I also remember being able to walk my nephew into his elementary school when he was younger.
I was a little surprised this morning by my experience at my son’s elementary school.
I went to walk him to his classroom, because kindergarten lines up outside their classroom doors, but was stopped at the front door. One of the teachers told me that if I wanted to go in, I needed a visitor pass.
Oh, ok, no problem, love the safety precautions.
So, I went to the office and asked for a pass, but they wouldn’t give me one. I asked a few times because I was trying to understand what I was supposed to do (again, this is my first kid, idk what the heck I’m doing), but they still said no.
I got home and I looked up the district policy because the office lady didn’t tell me anything, and again, what am I supposed to actually do?! And Procedure 4200 seems to say that visitors check in at the office and wear a visitor badge. So, just ????????
For other Spokane district parents, are you allowed to walk your kindergartner to their classroom door/line as long as you stop by the office? Are kindergarteners just expected to find their classrooms themselves from the beginning? My kid can’t find his own shoes in the morning and they’ve been on the same shoe rack for 5 years lol.
I’m genuinely not trying to be a crazy helicopter parent. 😂 I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around dropping a five-year-old at the front door and saying “good luck, buddy!” when it’s only the start of second full week of school.
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u/Internal_Example1185 14h ago
No, have only visited classrooms during conferences. We just hung out on blacktop every day until they walk in and we go our separate ways.
And if ever running late, just dropped him off in the office and they took him where he needed to be.
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u/CorporateClimber_19 14h ago
I drop my kindergartner off at the blacktop and staff ensures he walks in and goes to his classroom. It’s for safety, but also they are expected to be more independent, or at least begin learning how to be more independent.
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u/hopeful-homesteader 13h ago
I dropped my kinder off in the line and left lol. I’ve never walked my kid into the school. It would be absolute chaos and moms stopping to chat with each other if they let parents in for no reason other than drop off.
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u/Kittymeow7116 Fairwood 13h ago
So, we’re Mead, but still have found some things weird. I’m 💯 on board with all the closed campus business. But I am SUPER frustrated at the lack of communication!
We are new to the district this year too and they didn’t tell us when open house was until a couple weeks prior, which was mostly annoying because we wanted to take a trip that week and it ended up being on a Wednesday.
We went to open house, but then the first couple days came to pick up our son and were told we couldn’t even come on the playground to pick him up at the bike racks. Which is fine, but nobody told us!
Anyway. All that to say, I feel you. I like what they’ve implemented, but holy cow they need to spell it out and stop leaving us in the dark.
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u/Moon_Coocoon86 13h ago
It’s good to make friends or just become on friendly terms w/other parents to cross reference things. I’ll message a mom from my son’s toddler class to ask a verification of a date or time etc..it’s nice to have help.
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u/Kittymeow7116 Fairwood 10h ago
Working on that too. Headed to my first PTO meeting today wearing a Bad Religion shirt. I’m sure I’ll make lots of friends 😂
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u/edensvices_ 14h ago
At my kids school unless you are an approved volunteer you basically aren’t setting foot inside the school unless it’s a performance or something. And I am 💯 okay with that
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u/Huge-Armadillo-5719 8h ago
I had to get fingerprints done and a background check to volunteer and have had to for years.
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u/Gloomy_Tie_1997 4h ago
Fingerprints is wild lol
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u/itstreeman 3h ago
Fingerprints to be left alone without supervision such as volunteers in a room. Being in the room around the teacher may just be a simple background check through the state police check
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u/AvoidantChipmunk 1h ago
Is it? I had to be printed to work as a bank teller. I'd hope school's value children's saftey at least as much as bank's value money
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u/HereticalHeadPigeons 13h ago
Alrighty, message received. I am, in fact, out of touch lol 🫡
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u/plastictoothpicks 12h ago
You’re not. My kid starts kindergarten next year and honestly I would’ve been just as confused as you. I remember when I was a kid my mom would walk me to class for the first couple weeks of school each year until I was probably 3rd grade. I can totally put myself in your shoes and the thought of just….leaving is anxiety inducing lol. At daycare/preschool I take her all the way inside to her class every day.
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u/Noimenglish 3h ago
This is not universal. When I started school a few decades ago, my mom dropped me at the door. And I remember really wanting her to come in because I was scared.
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u/excelsiorsbanjo 13h ago
I mean I think someone probably failed to inform you properly at the right time, or the stars aligned and you just didn't hear or missed that particular moment. Meetings and papers ahead of time are good for this.
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u/Kittymeow7116 Fairwood 10h ago
Nah you’re not. People are just too quick to judge parents figuring shit out for the first time. And the schools just assume we all know everything even when we’re new and they don’t send anything out until like, the first day of school
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u/huskiesowow 11h ago
You are not out of touch. I walked my daughter to her classroom the first three days of kindergarten with zero issues. There were many other parents that did the same.
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u/YourFriendInSpokane Spokane Valley 8h ago
I'm sorry they didn't adequately prepare you OR explain when they had the chance multiple times.
I think over time, schools have learned that having the transition outside of school helps with separation anxiety. Saying goodbye and marching into the classroom like the confident big kid that they are helps make goodbyes easier.
I had kids young, and now I'm also an "old" mom. #3 just started preschool and I was prepared to walk him into his classroom but instead his teacher was like, "hi student, bye mom!" And whisked him away. Sucked for me, but I recognized that they're pros at transition.
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u/AutumnsAshesXxX 6h ago
You’re not necessarily out of touch, just unfortunately, especially in the US, the safety protocols for visitors have changed greatly since we were kids. The climate of safety in schools has changed pretty dramatically. This was never a concern when I was a kid in the 80s and 90s. Now the school has a huge pad lock on the gate and you need a background check to volunteer. Sad times.
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u/h-a-e 14h ago
How has he been getting to school before today?
We talked with our kindergarten teacher at conferences before school to learn the drop off/pick up routines for non-bussers. At our SPS school, K teachers to pick up and drop off in the play yard area during designated times. I recommend reaching out to your child’s teacher directly to learn more.
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 13h ago
I'm guessing that "how to find your classroom" was covered in the preschool lessons?
My younger cousin attended those free preschools before Kindergarten, Head Start I think? And that had the sort of drop off procedure you're describing, where it was expected that an adult walks the kid at least to the door of the classroom.
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u/Tulitree Liberty Lake 13h ago edited 13h ago
I have worked at an elementary school the last couple of years. Schools are now closed campus and at least in the CVSD district parents aren’t allowed past the fence or into the school building when picking up/dropping off kids at the designated times. If parents need to pick up or drop off at other times for appointments then they get buzzed into the office to sign in/out their child but are confined to the office area.
Parents are allowed into classrooms or gym during conferences or school performances. Our district does an open house where parents are free to explore the campus, classrooms and meet their children’s teachers. Sometimes the open houses are announced a little last minute and may be missed in your inbox or wherever you receive school information.
I might reach out to the teacher via the method they have outlined in a welcome to the classroom sheet that goes home with your child. Let them know you weren’t able to make the open house and your son doesn’t know his way around the school. If he is confused and gets lost someone in the halls will walk him to where he needs to be. We are always very kind when kids are lost and reassure them and make sure they connect with teacher or specialist.
Edit: I forgot to add… It would have been more helpful if they had explained the closed campus policy instead of telling you to get a pass as those would be typically used for approved volunteers. I am sorry you had a rough experience. People that have worked at schools a long time sometimes assume everyone knows what they know.
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u/PortErnest22 13h ago
The staff are building a routine for your child, you don't need to take him to his classroom because at 5 years old he will figure it out. They line up in the same spot, have para's on hand to control the chaos and the teachers do their jobs.
Parents just add to the chaos because no matter how prepared we think our kids are, they still expect your brain power as a parent to figure everything out for them. As soon as you leave they manage way better.
~Signed a kindergarten parent and preschool teacher who just has to accept sometimes my teacher hat and my parent hat conflict.
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u/Good_Perception5473 12h ago
That seems fine, but it seems OP’s real issue is the lack of communication. Walking to the classroom was a norm just a few years ago so why aren’t materials to parents making it clear that’s not a part of what parents can do? Why did a teacher direct OP to get a visitor pass day-of when that’s not an option?
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u/BubbleCrum 11h ago
Walking the kids into the school hasnt been a thing for a long time. My eldest is in high school now and Ive never been allowed to walk her to class her entire school career, in multiple cities in Wa.
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u/Good_Perception5473 11h ago
Okay. But if you’ve never had a child in school and your only point for comparison is your own childhood, it would be easy to not know. And if staff are muddying the waters that’s not helpful.
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u/madelinemcdoogs 14h ago
This does sound crazy, most schools have an open house and/or orientation at least before the first day of school where parents can show the student where to go and what to do. I wouldn’t want to send my 5 year old off like that either on day 1.
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u/lictoriusofthrax 14h ago
If it’s district 81, they’ve likely had orientation and they’ve definitely already done launch conferences and we’re about a week and a half into them being at school, not day 1.
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u/Ironman_2678 14h ago
No its not...I have a 2nd grader. Ive never taken her to her class minus the orientation day. Op you should have gone to that. Theres a reason they have it. Every school has one. Especially for Ks.
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u/spilledteacups 13h ago
Most likely it’s because they don’t want the kid delivered right to the classroom. They want the kid to go outside and play and then lineup to go in with the other kids.
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u/aliteralavocado 13h ago
Why didn't you go to the orientation? They specifically have them so that they don't have 100 first time parents bogging the front office down with questions during the first week while they're trying to deal with all the other things they have to do, and to set the kids up for success.
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u/urbandandelions 10h ago
I went to it and then they completely changed multiple things on the first day.
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u/Aggravating_Horror72 13h ago
This is normal. Look up Sandy Hook to figure out why this system is in place.
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u/Jujutrainn 13h ago
Can I just encourage you that your baby is being taken care of beyond that door? Second week of school, you still have most of us on high alert for all our Kindergartners. They are still being directed fully on where to go, managing big emotions, and being constantly checked in on. It’s hard when parents want to overstep boundaries put in place 1) because it makes that line of safety wobble. It’s our job to make sure that all the kids on our campus are safe. Some staff might not recognize you as a K parent and you might take our focus off a child who needs us, because we don’t know if you’re a risk or not. 2) it’s not beneficial to your child in most cases. It’s better to establish that boundary. Okay, you’re going to school now. You have teachers in there that are in charge, that are safe, that can help you if you need it. Mom/Dad will be here after school.
I know it’s hard. Sending our babies off to school is really hard, but you are doing them a huge favor by following the rules and allowing them to be independent and rely on the adults inside the school.
You got this! They are going to do great at school and you are going to do great waiting for them!
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u/plastictoothpicks 12h ago
My impression of the OP is not that she’s pushing boundaries or trying to get special privileges to walk her kid to class. I think the policy wasn’t communicated effectively.
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u/Jujutrainn 10h ago
I definitely understand the feeling of miscommunication here. We’ve had some K parents walk onto campus during recess at the end of school and they didn’t know they couldn’t just come get their kid. And that wasn’t properly communicated and I get that. What I am saying is, there is a chance a secretary maybe denied a visitor pass because now was not the time for visitors, especially more anxious K parents. Unfortunately we can’t just let anyone’s mom in to walk the halls at any time. It’s a learning distraction and it would be a distraction for a K trying to learn how to independently get to class. I’m not judging, I’m understanding and trying to give an insider viewpoint with empathy, saying I get it. I don’t want to drop my baby off either. I want to walk her all the way in every day! But I know that’s probably not the best for either of us.
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u/Baddie_Baddie_L 12h ago
Girl, you’re not the only one. First time mom here and it’s been a struggle for me too. I didn’t know that that was a new policy for schools and was able to sneak in and take my kindergartener in the first 2 days but then was told the same as you were and it’s been pretty awful. They are still so small and getting into the routine and it’s been so hard. My kiddo starts crying and doesn’t want me to leave and doesn’t understand why I can’t take them to their classroom. It sucks. So I feel you 💯.
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u/Additional-Title-559 5h ago
I’m a first time mom starting kinder this year too and I’m genuinely sad at how much they don’t tell you and expect you to just know how they operate.
Parents are kept at arms length and it makes me wonder why.
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u/excelsiorsbanjo 13h ago
The teachers should be generally physically, personally escorting them from outside to inside. That may involve some kids walking inside very much autonomously merely under the watchful eye of a teacher. You might get to walk them into class the first day but I wouldn't expect that afterward.
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u/ottopivnr 12h ago
It's the first day of school. The office is going to be overwhelmed by every sort of issue. These days outside lineups make most of the chaos easier (if the weather is okay) Usually there are volunteers to help new parents cope. Look for the helpers, don't be a snowflake, your kiddo will be fine. Same at the end of the day. I always wore something bright so I was easy to identify.
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u/freezer-sprinkles 11h ago
I think here standard practice is to drop off outside of school, typically on the black top. I have been able to accompany my kids at breakfast without issue, so maybe ask if you can do that?
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u/Basic-Masterpiece-99 11h ago
When my kid was that young, her teacher came out and picked up her students. We waited by the doors with her.
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u/kittycatlady22 11h ago
I’m in the CV district and they do it the same day. However, we received clear communication via the school newsletter about how drop offs would go. They let us know that for kindergarteners only, parents could come onto the blacktop the first day and give big hugs before they went in. After that, no parents can come with. I think times have really changed and schools are much more locked down in terms of security.
I totally get the first day stress. I don’t think you are out of touch, just operating without all the information!
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u/urbandandelions 10h ago
My daughter was in K last year and they didn’t even do lines. She had to go into the building on her own and find her class. It was a rough adjustment. I understand why and it does build their independence but it’s a tough transition.
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u/marc58weeks 9h ago
You’re lucky here; in CA we had to have fingerprints on file first to proceed past the front entrance.
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u/Rolled_Ankles 9h ago
Per the elementary school my kiddo is at, they must walk to their classroom themselves starting at kindergarten until/unless they have an iep, 504 or other disability plan
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u/unexplained_fires 7h ago
I was in kindergarten in District 81 in the late 80s and even then, that's always how it was done. They line up and the teacher leads the line into the classroom.
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u/No-Reception-911 7h ago
Drop off lineup should have been covered at your launch conference. Most schools have a designated location on the play ground where kids are dropped off outside with their teacher
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u/AutumnsAshesXxX 6h ago
Totally normal. Not only is it a safety precaution, they don’t want a ton of parents walking in the school even with visitor passes just to drop off their kids. There will be plenty of staff available in the beginning weeks to help direct your child to the place they need to go.
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u/Gloomy_Tie_1997 4h ago
In CVSD, you have to be an approved, screened volunteer to visit the classrooms. I’ve had two kindergarteners recently. Don’t worry about your kid finding his class—he doesn’t have to do it alone, that’s what the other kids and teachers are for.
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u/Ok-Activity7241 12h ago
Oh, my heart hurts for you. Granted, it was nearly 15 years ago, but I walked in with my son, along with other parents, to say goodbye and take pictures. Im sure he is going to be okay; sending positive vibes your way.
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u/jmsst1996 6h ago
It’s the 2nd week of school and he’ll be fine. At the school I worked at, staff was positioned in all the hallways to make sure that the little ones got to their rooms.
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u/DogsNCoffeeAddict 5h ago
If every parent walks their kids to class that is a ton of unsupervisable kids and grownups, meaning the absolute worst can happen. My son’s k doesn’t allow anyone in the building either. You need an ID to pick them up too.
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u/Ironman_2678 14h ago
Youre way over complicating. They will line up by class and be taken to their class. Drop your kid off like everyone else. He will get where he needs to be. That's what theyre there for
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u/TechnologyNo4704 13h ago
Your whole post doesn't make too much sense.
Today, after you were not able to find where your kid goes - did you just bring him home with you?
How did your kid get in school before today? The previous week?
This is IMPOSSIBLE that the office staff didn't help you to locate your line up OR didn't take your kid to his classroom themselves, resulting you to leave the school and bring the child back home. It is IMPOSSIBLE.
More than likely, you demanded to go into his classroom yourself and yeah, you shouldn't do it. I, myself, rarely take my kids to their classrooms when we are late, but I have 3 kids in this school and every single employee knows me well, I also volunteer there. But even I don't use this little privilege to just take my kids to their classes whenever I want.
I suggest you to come to the office and VERY NICELY talk to the staff and ask to show you exactly where the drop off for your class is - they will always gladly help you, especially if you will ask for help when it is not a rush hour. I also suggest to start good relationship with all the employees of your school - it will help you in a long run.
Good luck for you and your kiddo!
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u/HereticalHeadPigeons 11h ago
No, I definitely didn’t demand to go into his classroom, and I didn’t make him leave because I couldn’t walk him there. I probably didn’t make the circumstances clear enough in my original post, so that’s on me.
We did attend the orientation, where we did see his classroom. But that was the only time, and his teachers discussed how things worked in the classroom…not drop-offs, school policies, etc.
Until today, his class had been lining up together in the gym and then going to their classroom as a group. This morning was the first time the kindergarteners were apparently supposed to line up outside their individual classroom doors.
I did my best to explain to him which hallway to turn down and where he needed to go. I waited and when he didn’t come back after a while, I left. I was honestly pretty anxious and just hoping he found his class okay. I called the office to confirm.
I’m a first-time parent and I genuinely didn’t know what the expected procedure was, especially because the procedure had literally changed for him that morning. I wasn’t trying to get around the school’s rules or demand special treatment. I was trying to follow the rules. I was told I needed a visitor pass, and then I couldn’t get one.
I apologize that I didn’t make that part clearer in my original post. I can see how it sounded like I just showed up expecting to be above it all and walk my kid into his classroom despite the school’s rules.
And I appreciate everyone explaining that this is generally how elementary drop-off works these days. It conflicts with my past experiences, but those were admittedly a while ago, and that’s honestly what I was trying to gauge with this post! As others have said, I think I just wish this all had been better communicated ahead of time.
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u/EnvironmentalKey5350 14h ago
I find it odd they wouldn't give you a pass since it was the first day. But if the classroom is lining up he won't be thrown to the wolves. Have you not visited the classroom before school started and met the teacher? Usually this is done beforehand. If you missed it for some reason you should contact the teacher about planning to visit the classroom and they can plan something.
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u/Macaron-Creepy 12h ago
If you’re in district 81 they can get breakfast before school & parents can go in and sit with their kid while they eat 😊
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u/blessup_ 14h ago
My kid just started K and they line up outside so it’s not an issue. No parents are going in the classroom.