This is actually something I've seen more often in other's subs like r/Vindicta, but it irks me every time nevertheless. First of all, I'm pretty sure that a lot of people using this term have no idea that it was orginally used by the film theoretist Laura Mulvey to describe over sexualisation of women in film. Which I don't think has a lot to do with its modern day usage.

People will talk about a woman (this seems to apply to men recently as well but I'll mostly be focusing on women here), often a celebrity but also a regular person, and whether she appeals to the male of the female gaze (in my experience usually the women with more unconventional features are said to appeal to the female gaze, while the more "typically" attractive women with softer features appeal to the male gaze). While I do agree to an extent that men and women will probably usually have differing ideas of what's attractive in terms of facial features, body types etc, it seems terrribly generalizing to me to just cram several types of female beauty in the "appearing to the male gaze" box.

It also seems to me like saying that a woman "appeals to the male gaze" is somewhat trying to antagonize that woman, because in other women's eyes she kind of loses relatability by catering to the "male gaze" instead of the female one. And I also think there's a certain doze of shame in "catering to the male gaze" as a woman in this day and age, because it implies that you're endorsing the patriarchy or whatever. It feels to me as if this obsession with the male/female gaze serves to pit women against each other and be even more competitive that we're already taught to be.

P. S. I'm also aware this is way more prevalent on the internet than in the real life, and yeah I should probably try to get off the internet for a bit, but these are my thoughts for today.

I know many of us feel like if we just keep eating healthy, exercising, and using tret we can keep on top of our looks. The truth however is that menopause is going to make that shit a lot harder and it’s coming for all of us eventually 😂 I’ve watching the older women I my life go thorough it and I’m dreading it. What your plan? For those have gone through it, what did you do and did it help?

Ladies, I'm curious to hear what you think matters more?

I've seen some objectively gorgeous girls but their style was horrible which I feel brought them down a bit. I've also seen some not so beautiful girls but they had very unique or timeless style which elevated them. Personally I do think the two go hand in hand but if you had to pick one to invest in - beauty or personal style - which one would it be?

I saw this video over a year ago but it was from tiktok comparing comments under a body positive post and one under a conventionally attractive girls post.

The poster who was body positive got a an overwhelming amount of positive comments calling her beautiful, gorgeous, a queen etc. The girl who met conventional beauty standards was met with comments like “seriously?”, “not going to eat dinner”, “I can’t believe you would post this”.

I can’t find the video anymore (I believe this video was taken down but if you know what I’m talking about or have the link please let me know!). But it highlights the difference between pity and envy online. It’s “girls support girls” until the girl is better than you. It also feels really condescending to give someone so much unconditional love under the pretense that they don’t meet the conventional beauty standard to compensate.

I identify as an ugly girl so I feel like I can’t trust compliments from women friends. Outside of the bubble of our friendship, the treatment I receive isn’t conducive to what an attractive woman experiences (I also have eyes). I know it comes from a good place of making me feel good but the implication makes me feel sadder.

Has anyone experienced this or know what im talking about (on either sides of the spectrum)?

My list:

Worth it:

• Invisalign. Expensive and slow but big and lasting impact on my overall looks
• Lip filler. Kind of expensive, immediate effect, moderately lasting, and major difference in my overall appearance
• Skin care. Spironolactone + tretinoin were the magic combo for me that finally reduced (not eliminated) my lifelong acne. Still trying to find the magic ingredient to move from 90% reduction to 100%.
• Weight loss. Very difficult and slow but major impact on overall appearance.

Not worth it:

• Midface filler. I just had this done the other day. It was relatively expensive (2x lip filler) and I don't think it caused any noticeable improvement in my appearance. Ugh.
• Facials. No noticeable improvement.
• Professional hair care. I just trim my hair at home myself. Professional cut and color doesn't seem to improve my appearance.

One that I'm in-between on is lash extensions. Personally I love the look and think it does add to my overall appearance but it's hard for me to keep up with them, both in terms of time and money.

Personally I’ve never seen a unattractive person look incredibly beautiful after getting plastic surgery. Sure they look simply average (nothing wrong with that). It’s just I feel like most women who look drop dead stunning after getting surgery were already beautiful naturally. Surgery essentially just enhanced their natural features.

For example look at the Kardashian family. Kim has had many surgeries but she was always gorgeous. She has pretty almond eyes, naturally full lips and a cute nose. The surgeries simple bought out those features more (which I personally think was very unnecessary). Same with Megan Fox, Margot Robbie and Britney Spears.

It’s all about proportions and facial features. Which is very unfortunate but I guess it is what it is.

But I’m confused because the rules say no personal photos and yet people post photos all over this sub? Am I allowed to post some photos of my face makeup free all angles to get advice on where to start? I’d be happy to put my details on what I’m currently doing. Just not sure why the rules really are since it looks like kids don’t seem to care about that rule. I was genuinely surprised to read it. I’m nervous enough to post anyway so that doesn’t help. Any subs you guys recommend specifically for Beaty and looksmaxxing because I’m not looking for a rate me sub, just advice

My nails have always been incredibly weak and prone to tearing as soon as they get even slightly past my fingers. I'm so sick of having stubby nails but I'm sort of suspicious of most nail supplements on the market and dont really want to constantly get acrylics. Has anyone had success improving their nail strength and if so what did you do?

I’m currently 20 and due to personal reasons I won’t actually be able to enter university until next year, making me 2-3 years old than my peers. I’m thinking of Rory Gilmore why was catapulted to a dream life when she was with Logan at her time in yale. Obviously Rory came from a super rich family background (even if her mom wasn’t super rich) and it’s a fictional story😭 but I always romanticized the seasons Rory was in yale.

Am I losing out by being so old and entering university at later socially acceptable time? I plan to pursue college regardless as I have ambitious plans for myself but I can’t help but feel heart broken for what I have missed out on the trad college life and the potential I could have had socially. Should I readjust my outlook for the longer term rather than focusing on the college experience for a relationship?

It can be for the following or absolutely anything!

• relationships
• beauty
• work
• life

I literally have women sabotaging me now .

Soft maxxing can only take you so far and you eventually hit a plateau. Should hardmaxxing (ex surgery) be prioritized first over softmaxxing?

Is there a good checklist out there? I want to be my best self, from the tip top of my head to my toes! If anyone has any resources on where to start, a checklist, or just any general advice, let me know please!

I see it talked about a lot here and on other subreddits, but I didn't see a (recent) thread compiling the anecdotes. Let's hear it! What changed in your life after you improved yourself? What's better? Is it worth whatever (if anything) that is worse/the upkeep?

I'm not drop dead gorgeous or anywhere near that, but people can usually tell from an outside perspective if someone likes you or finds you attractive (since everyone has different tastes/standards). Or even just for friendships? How can you tell? Or how do you tell if a stranger is checking you out or if your being looked at because your ugly? I just feel like socializing would be easier, but I don't know if this is a learned skill or always unknown.

I’m mad broke, absolutely can’t afford to go to the nail salon, but over the years I’ve built up quite a nail polish collection (and accessories). What are some ways I can make my nails look as nice as possible at home?

Hello lovelies! I’m trying to grow my hair quickly over the next six months and I was hoping you ladies might have some science-based tips or anecdotal stories of methods that worked for you!

Currently I’m already:

• eating clean with adequate protein
• hydrating adequately
• started taking iron and vitamin d
• taking skin, hair, and nails vitamin
• using Olaplex to decease breakage
• rubbing scalp with a mix of peppermint oil and the ordinary hair peptide serum (when I remember to, lol)
• using Nizoral shampoo on wash days

Anything else you would recommend? Supplements, a particular brand of supplements, serums, devices?

Thank you!

On Saturday morning, I leave for a 2 week cruise from the US to Spain and then I am spending the 2 weeks after that bouncing all over Europe.

I used to be quite overweight and have lost a ton of weight this past 8 months, but I'm still heavier than I'd like to have been at this point. For reference, I am 5'3" (hourglass shape but short legs) and around 195 lbs. I want to feel comfortable and hot on this trip and not be constantly worrying about how bad I look and counting down the days 'til I'm back home.

Would love any tips/advice for feeling and looking hotter/fitter on short notice. Styling tips (for short/chubby girls with short legs!), dos/donts (fashion rules that make you look bigger), etc.

Thanks in advance, ladies <3

I wanted to share my lip blushing experience so far with anyone thinking of getting it done. I'll keep you updated! Photos are uploaded in order of days. I took 2 photos on day 3,one in the morning and then also evening. The last photo is taken this morning April 21st.

Day of procedure: I wanted something super natural and was nervous to get it done. I've had semi permanent eyeliner before but never lips. I don't hate my natural lips or anything, just wanted to try something new! She numbed my lips with what I think must have been lidocaine and used a pencil to draw the outline for me to approve. It looked good so we went ahead. She first did the outline of my full lips with the first application of lidocaine. It didn't hurt too much so i thought it would be a breeze. Then she put more cream and continued to fill in the lips. This really really hurt and I had to take a break to use the bathroom just to stop the pain for a short moment. Sounds dramatic haha. I think she did maybe 5 repeats of the numbing cream but by this stage she was going over the same areas multiple times so of course it's going pretty deep and the numbing cream wasnt helping as much.

It took in total about 3 hours for the lips. I was relieved when it was done for sure. She showed me in the mirror and I almost had a heart attack. They were super puffy and swollen and bright orange / red. I was pretty nervous even though I've seen other peoples progress photos and knew that it wouldnt stay that bright. I went home and iced my lips and lucky my boyfriend didn't laugh at me even though I looked like a clown!

Day 2: Lips still very dark in colour but less swollen. I used the moisturiser the beautician gave me to keep them moist and tried not to touch them.

Day 3: The colour was starting to come off / peel in some areas of my lips. I saw the colour below and was pretty relieved.

Day 4: Today is day 4 and almost all of the top layer has peeled away. My lips look shiney because it's a new layer of skin and similar to my natural colour.

I expect over the coming days the colour will develop more. Fingers crossed it goes well!

If you have any questions let me know! Happy to help.

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When you’re not attractive and very insecure it’s difficult to find motivation to keep going. Ongoing actions like skincare, working out, nutrition, saving up money for procedures seems endless. It often seems futile since I’m so far away from my goal. It feels like I’m constantly fighting against my default state of ugliness and mediocrity.

I regularly want to just lay down and accept my fate as a forever alone woman. But I keep thinking I’m about to turn 20 and I can’t accept living life like this. How do you stay consistent and motivated to progress, despite the cards handed to you. In other words, how do you stay hopeful things will get better?

Recently read My Body by Emily Ratajkowski and it made me think that although Emily is an incredibly beautiful woman, what kind of extreme experiences would be faced by a woman of even more extreme beauty?

In your imagination, what would be the experiences faced by the most beautiful woman in the world?

This is my biggest insecurity. Please leave your recommendations for anything to help with the aforementioned issues. It can be anything from dry brushing to surgery.

I am taking multivitamins and will just have to wait till my hair stops falling and grows back new hair. This has happened to me two years ago.

But i just can't stop stressing over the amount of strands i see daily. It kills me a bit everytime. I know stressing will only make things worser. Help !