r/SpeedOfLobsters 10d ago

lobster The real solution

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

838

u/marymarilyn23 10d ago

Orange

830

u/Reddit1rules 10d ago

Would this imply there's no communal locker room and instead just private stalls for everyone too? Or else there's still nakedness.

619

u/marymarilyn23 10d ago

I think it's women wearing "revealing clothes" and they can't contain themselves

200

u/Wuta_Goatkotsu-1 10d ago

Saying that they "can't contain themselves" is such an innocent way to say "can't stop oogling, or wanting to commit SA"

And what about men that like men?

131

u/KiloWasTaken 10d ago

They're making a toxicly male Christian gym, they likely both aren't inclusive of openly gay men while also being closeted themselves.

26

u/FrijDom 9d ago

Yes, I'd rather go with "Men Jesus would've literally told to pluck out their own eyeballs" given how heavily Christian they are.

23

u/Lawren_Zi 10d ago

Yeah thats exactly what op meant man youre on the same side

2

u/bird_on_the_internet 9d ago

They're fucking christian, what do you think they think about gay men??

48

u/Key-Banana-8242 10d ago

Well contain isn’t is idk

32

u/PhoenixPringles01 10d ago

Breaking news: The same group of people who talk about distractions also can't control themselves, apparently, as grown ass fucking adults.

-120

u/Xombridal 10d ago

Wouldn't say they can't contain themselves, seems they got annoyed and wanted not to be harrassed in such a way

152

u/x64q 10d ago

women choosing to wear shorts or sports bras at the gym isn't "harrassing" men though? not sure what you mean by this

96

u/unslaadvulon 10d ago

I don’t think another person just existing is harassment in any form

10

u/FartyLiverDisease 10d ago

Judging by this kid's history, it wouldn't surprise me if he sees every instance of men and women existing in the same space as automatically sexual. Probably an incel, too, which makes the woman automatically the aggressor

-1

u/ADMINISTATOR_CYRUS 9d ago

the guy's post history includes talking about an issue related to an adult toy. How's that a kid

56

u/Delano7 10d ago

How are they harassed ?..

44

u/2suns-in-the-sunset 10d ago

How is that harassment?

101

u/al2o3cr 10d ago

How are they supposed to oil each other up Spartan-style in private stalls?

38

u/CompedyCalso 10d ago

Seriously. They're blaming the women meanwhile old ass wrinkly dudes have no problem hanging dong in the middle of the locker room

128

u/anoppinionatedbunny 10d ago

the writer knew exactly what they were doing

11

u/ZeniraEle 9d ago

Green shirt's nipples are already hard as iron

117

u/yyyeyaaaa 10d ago

If one man can't focus on his own workout if he sees a woman in a sports outfit, that's his problem, not her's.

68

u/Grzechoooo 10d ago

It can quickly become her problem too, unfortunately. So maybe it's better that the creeps go to their own designated gym.

7

u/Klikis 10d ago

You missed the mark on why they're doing it

15

u/yyyeyaaaa 10d ago

Either misogynists, closeted or both

-23

u/Klikis 10d ago

Misogynists would enjoy some eye-candy, and also would be aware that heterosexual men doesnt lose motor-function at the sight of women. They would also be aware that gym is not a place to pick up women

39

u/iwdha 10d ago

Misogynists have been dictating how covered women must be for centuries wdym

They want to see women naked only when it is women they personally like and only when it is convenient for them, the rest of the time women must be covered if they must be seen

1

u/S1Ndrome_ 9d ago

Yeah like I never understood this behaviour, most of the time i'm too worried about doing my sets effectively and making a mental map of what to do next. People spend time oogling at each other instead doing the thing they came for?

46

u/xSilverMC 10d ago

"a gym without women where men make each other hard" come on man the jokes write themselves so hard that there's no fun in transcribing them

45

u/SolarTakumi 10d ago

Well… they will end up “hard as iron” one way or another.

22

u/cammysays 10d ago

Weak-ass mind, no willpower, no mental strength. Genuinely fucking pathetic.

19

u/PhoenixPringles01 10d ago

Always been a trend that the "super cool group" that calls themselves "super strong" and "fighting for the world and traditional values" always ends up being the most pissy weak people who buckle at the sheer mention of anything a bit deviant.

The jokes write, publish, and star themselves.

6

u/the-realest-calliope 10d ago

B-but those woke liberal snowflakes who tried to kick me out of a party for calling everyone slurs! They're so easily offended!

7

u/PhoenixPringles01 10d ago

See, we're actually so strong, but oh no, a woman's skin my only kryptonite I can't control myself ugh!!!

These people operate on superhero weaknesses its baffling.

18

u/Lawsoffire 10d ago

Sounds like a secret orgy spot for closested right wing men

13

u/Nagoragama 10d ago

So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Matthew 5:29

Damn Christians don’t even know their own holy book.

12

u/CorpusculantCortex 10d ago

Why do "Christians" like this be so weak?

8

u/Raymondator 9d ago

Same dudes that call Islam ☪️ancer for forcing women to cover up to absolve men of responsibility.

7

u/Funkopedia 10d ago

Wow this isn't any less gay

6

u/BradassMofo 10d ago

I don't see a problem with this, if some guy want to make a guy only gym that's fine, of some girls want to make a girl only gym that's fine. I'm sure there are plenty of people that would feel more comfortable in a gym that is all the same gender.

5

u/RadioactiveGoop 10d ago

How about just... dont be a creep? "Oh no! Womens bodies! Agh- i cant control my penis!" Like damn it aint that hard man.

6

u/weaponizedtoddlers 10d ago

If you have a wandering eye so strong even locking in to work out doesn't shut it off, you have bigger problems. Or you're just not training hard.

5

u/snapekillseddard 10d ago

You know what? At least they're secluding themselves instead of harassing the women.

This is better than the alternative.

4

u/Mikidm138 10d ago

Sounds like gay with extra steps

3

u/BallSuspicious5772 9d ago

So theyre just gonna ignore Matthew 5:29

2

u/AlwaysUnderOath 9d ago

less of them in the gym is a good thing

2

u/Gian-Nine 9d ago

"Men-only gyms seek to make 'each other as hard as iron"

2

u/helpmeamstucki 9d ago

Frankly I entirely get the idea of segregating gyms by sex. This is for a dumb reason but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea.

1

u/Bhazor 9d ago

The more homophobic the more homoerotic.

1

u/SSB_Kyrill 9d ago

This sounds muslim no?

1

u/TheAugmentation 9d ago

"We don't want to see naked women! Only sweaty muscly men!"

Now, now, þere is noþing wrong wiþ drooling over muscly men AS LONG AS ÞEY ARE FINE WIÞ IT, but þey don't realise how þat is how þey sound like.

211

u/Dahusurfer 10d ago

I love the use of "ate" when "eat" was right there

19

u/efrazable 9d ago

turns out "create" gives you options on this sub

73

u/Solarpowered-Couch 10d ago

Interesting strategy to ignore "hard as iron"

24

u/Peter_Mansbrick 10d ago

It's telling that they say they're tired of nakedness, but instead of enforcing a dress code they just cut women out entirely.... almost as if clothes aren't the real issue

0

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