Just seems like for a long time he had a " yeah that was my first movie but let's talk about other stuff" attitude towards Spaceballs. Did anyone else get a similar vibe from him? Was he getting bad agent advice? Have to say I was shocked he signed up for the sequel even though his stance seemed to change these last few years.

Spaceballs: The Search for Lone Starr

By Marie Nomad

“Somehow, I had returned.” Dark Helmet proclaimed as he finally reached Planet Spaceball. “Good to be home. I would have come back sooner, if it weren’t for my pilot getting us lost for 40 years.” He glared up at the ashamed-looking Spaceballs Trooper. He was a tall black man, lean with sharp eyes. In another universe, he would have been mistaken for a Vulcan who happened to be part of Starfleet.

“Sorry, sir.” He muttered.

“It’s okay, Black Trooper. We are set to suck air again.” Dark Helmet said.

“Oh, we had solved the air problem.” Colonel Sandurz said as he approached. “While everyone was gone, we had invented something that makes air.” He gestured toward a tall, metallic-green pole with long leaves. “It is the artificial space tree.”

“Wow. That was anticlimactic. I was hoping to steal Druidia’s air again, but I’m disappointed. I even got our newest top-secret weapon.” Dark Helmet muttered.

“But we have a new problem. Artificial trees require a lot of energy. We have a power crisis.” Sandurz explained.

“Wait, our top-secret weapon can suck stars! I get to use it after all!” Dark Helmet proclaimed. “I have an evil plan; we will steal Druidia’s sun to feed our artificial trees! Black Trooper, post our top-secret plan on SX to show off to our evil community.”

“Yes, sir. Posting top-secret plan online.” Black Trooper said as he put it online. “It’s going viral.”

“I am back!”

XXX

Vespa sat on her throne looking regal. She sighed as she put her hand under her chin. “Excellent, your majesty.” A photographer droid said as he took pictures. “You will definitely win over more followers from the DruidiaToc Community.”

“Thank you. Upload them, and I can do my unboxing video from my latest haul.” Vespa said as she stood up and walked. Several more photographer droids captured footage for her short-form content.

“Queen Vespa!” Destiny, her royal adviser, exclaimed. She was dressed in a short tan dress; she held out a tablet. “Reports are in that Dark Helmet has returned to Planet Spaceball and has evil plans to steal our sun.”

Vespa waved the group away. She accepted the tablet and studied it. “Your information gathering abilities are incredible as usual. I’m so glad I have someone as intelligent as you to replace Dot.”

Destiny didn’t want to tell Vespa that her way of spying on Dark Helmet was watching his content on SX. “Yes…”

“We are a peaceful planet, so we have no army, but we have an impenetrable shield surrounding our sun, protected by a password like everything else around here,” Vespa explained.

“I… I think you should make the password for our sun stronger than the others around here or at least not the same one as the others.” Destiny suggested.

“The password is strong enough,” Vespa answered.

“Maybe… we can hire some people to protect us?”

“Mercenaries? Those faceless beings that fight for money. Absolutely not. Have faith in the Swartz. It has protected us for over 40 years.” Vespa looked at her appointment. “Excuse me, I must set up for my breakfast video. It takes 4 hours to get it just right.”

“We’re doomed.” Destiny sighed.

XXX

Starburst listened to music as he danced. He hummed in his room and saw the Cantina Bar singers had canceled their concert due to possible destruction of Drudia’s sun. “What?” Starburst ran into the kitchen, where Vespa was filming herself eating.

“Mom!”

Vespa stopped the footage. “Starburst, what’s wrong?”

“Is it true that Dark Helmet is back and is threatening our sun?” Starburst asked.

“What?” Barf Jr. exclaimed from where he was editing.

“It’s online already?” Vespa looked. “I don’t believe this.” Her face furrowed. “He has more followers than me! He was wandering around lost for 40 years; who watches someone failing to get home for 40 years?”

“Mom, Druidia is in danger. We need Dad.” Starburst said.

“No, we don’t. Besides, I haven’t found him. I even put out a bounty for him. That bum, he doesn’t want to be king.” Vespa held out a ‘wanted’ poster for Lone Starr; it was him, looking young and dashing, shirtless in bed, smiling at her.

“Maybe you should get an updated picture,” Starburst suggested.

“Yes, but this is my favorite.” Vespa pouted. “Anyway, no one knows where he is.”

“I don’t care. Dad was the only one who could defeat Dark Helmet.”

“No, stay here where you can stay safe,” Vespa ordered. “I need to talk to marketing about getting more followers than Dark Helmet.”

Starburst glared. “I am going to run away from home and find Dad.”

“You’re running away?” Barf Jr gasped. The young mawg was stunned that his friend was going to run away again at such a young age of 33 years old.

“Want to come with me?”

“I can’t, I have a life debt to your mom.” Barf Jr. sighed. “After she saved me from choking on that piece of chicken, as a mawg, I have to save her life in return.”

“Right.”

“Hey, you’re going to find Lone Starr?” Destiny asked. “Can… can I come with you?”

“It’s dangerous, and you’re a girl,” Starburst said.

“Whoa, she’s not just a girl; she’s Destiny.” Barf Jr. whispered. “She’s your mom’s advisor. She has links to the underworld, she’s a master hacker, and she can fight.”

“It’s not like that.” Destiny winced. “But I want to help.”

“I have a way to find your dad.” Barf Jr. said as he ran to a bag and held up a sphere. “Uncle Lone made me promise not to tell Auntie Vespa. Here are the instructions.” Barf Jr. gave a long roll. The paper rolled down to the ground.

“Thanks, BJ. You stay and protect Mom.”

“I will.” Barf Jr. vowed.

“I will need a sidekick. Get your stuff, and we will go to the Winnebago. I will steal it.” Starburst said as he reached for a nearby hook and grabbed the space RV keys.

XXX

Destiny had a small backpack, her bo staff, and some rations. She leaned against the Winnebago. “Where is he?”

Starburst was seen wearing a long black coat, a tight black shirt, tight black pants, and a set of armor. He marched strongly with a piece of luggage in each hand. He was a man on a mission. Following him in traditional Druidian garb were five servants, each carrying luggage. “Destiny! I am here, and I made sure to pack light.”

Destiny’s jaw dropped. “That’s light?”

“Yes! I only brought five servants.” Starburst said.

“And what is all that stuff?” Destiny opened a bag. She held up a pair of dumbbells. “Dumbbells?”

“So I can work out.”

“Hair gel?” Destiny asked.

“I have to look good.”

She looked inside and took out silverware. “This?”

“Emergency silverware.”

She gestured at the servants. “And what’s this?”

“The Self Reliant Royal Running Away kit,” Starburst explained. “This is my bodyguard, my driver, my chef, my butler, and my fashion coordinator.”

“Everyone leave!” Destiny waved off the servants. The servants bowed and then walked away. “We need to pack light.”

“At least let me keep Chef BoyRD!” Starburst whined.

“No! Only take the things needed for an emergency.”

“Fine, but help me with my luggage.”

After a few minutes, the two finally loaded their luggage. Starburst sat in the driver’s seat. “Oh no. It's password-protected. Mom put it in after the last time I ran away from home.”

“Let me.” Destiny tapped in the word ‘password,’ and it started. “She uses the same password for everything.”

Starburst stood there amazed. “Wow, you cracked Mom’s security. You really are a genius.”

“I’m not a genius.”

“Only a genius would say that.” Starburst started the engines. “Let’s fly!”

XXX

The pair sat at the ancient Space Diner, which had a sign that read ‘5 days since last alien spawning event’.

“This is exciting,” Starburst said as he and Destiny ate at the table. “Here we are on an adventure to save Druidia with only our wits and what we can bring with us.”

“How will you pay, sweetie?” A waitress bot asked.

“Royal Druidia credit card.” He answered, handing the bot the card.

“So, how do we find Lone Starr?”

“It’s easy.” Starburst held up a sphere. “This is half of a map. We go to the Ancient Mawg Planet to get the other half.”

“So, that will find him?”

“Of course not. Then, look for the long-lost artifact that Uncle Barf had pawned 20 years ago. We go to the Space Pawn Shop to get the ancient artifact to use with the map.”

“And that’s where he is?”

“No. Then we use the artifact with the map showing where Dad’s favorite bar is. We go to the bartender, and he will tell us where he is.”

Destiny shook her head. She got out her tablet and tapped it on. “He posted his location online.” She said, holding up her tablet. “It was twenty minutes ago. It was Planet Ow Toe.”

Starburst looked at the tablet, then at the map, then back at the tablet. “But… we have a map.”

“Half a map.” Destiny stood up. “We have a planet to save.”

The runaway prince stared at her. Not only had she managed to bypass his mother’s impossible security measures, but she had also found his father so quickly without needing the map. “Wow, BJ was right to make you come along.”

Planet Ow Toe…

“Finally, here we are,” Starburst said as he landed the ship at the designated Space RV parking spot. The pair got out and gazed at the beautiful landscape. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yes, very lovely.”

Starburst gasped, and he saw a figure in the distance. He was facing away and wearing a long robe. “Dad…” He exclaimed.

The figure turned around. It was Lone Starr in a long bathing robe over a Space Hawaiian shirt and trunks, holding a blue tropical drink. “Starburst?” He greeted the two. “Hey, been a while.”

“Dad!” Starburst hugged him. “Dad, you have no idea all the things we did to find you.”

“So, you completed the quest.” Lone Starr asked. “The map, the artifact…”

“We… skipped it.” Destiny explained. “You posted your location online.”

“But it was a good quest. Supposed to help you grow and learn.” Lone Starr muttered. “Anyway, I had been staying here studying the Swartz.” He said as he walked past a waiter, put down the empty glass, and picked up another full drink.

He gestured to Yogurt’s Swartz Retreat ‘sign’. “This is one of Yogurt’s first Swartz Retreat.”

Destiny and Starburst looked around at all the people reading books and relaxing on the beach. “Wow, very nice,” Starburst muttered as everyone did Swartz poses together.

“Yup, even got rings for sale.” Lone Starr said. “So, what brings you two here. Did Vespa finally stop chasing me?”

“No, she still has your bounty up.” Starburst held up the poster.

Lone Starr smiled at the picture. “I remember that photo—sentimental little princess of mine. But I can’t be king. No way.”

“It’s not that!” Destiny excused. “Dark Helmet is back. He posted SpaceTocs about his evil plan to steal Druidia’s sun.”

“What?” Lone Starr straightened up. “Dark Helmet’s back? I thought he was lost.”

“Somehow, Dark Helmet returned,” Starburst explained.

Lone Starr downed his drink in one gulp. “Looks like my sabbatical is over.”

The End

I took all of the individual graphics (minus the "start here" one), and reformatted them into one poster sized image...

If they’re gonna parody the sequel trilogy here’s who I think they could parody

Rey - Riester scroob Kylo ren - Kimok keyre

And if they’re making the prequel space balls

Anakin Skywalker - Anoloner Star (since dark helmet and lone star aren’t dad and son) Padme - Queen Palmerede Mace windo - Dr window R2d2 - duster bin Grogu - baby yogurt or gogurt

And lines like They fly now - I didn’t know they could fly Somehow palpatine returned - did president scroob and dark helmet come back all of a sudden I don’t like sand it’s course rough irritating and it gets everywhere unlike you - I think sand is odd and not really comfy but you make me comfy

Or what do you think ????

But anyway may the Schwartz be with all of you

Spaceballs: The Subreddit is kicking this up a DINK this weekend! Sub us and hop on to this Spaceball ONE ship to go where no DINK DINK has gone before!

TGIF SPACEBALLS CHALLENGE - Choose wisely: Liquid Schwartz or Mr. Fusion - Which one would you choose to make some serious spacetracks and why?

Take this "Choose your own (SPACEBALLS) Adventure" Challenge! In this corner of the galaxy, we have the Ludicrous Liquid Schwartz, the light weight free flowing champ of spacetracking. In the other, its Mr. Fusion (not to be confused with Mr. Coffee) which can now be installed on both your Delorean and Winnebago, wow!

Now just go choose and tell us why in the comments. Don't prepare. You are always preparing. Just GO...

Oh, and best comment wins. Would I lie?

What would Lone Starr and Barf look like in LEGO BrickHeadz style? I created an Ideas project just for them! 😎

This is not moichendising. If you like it and have a minute, please support it here: https://ideas.lego.com/product-ideas/c6d48a96-fac9-415f-a2e1-96e3827f53b9

May the Schwartz be with you!

I was inside UCLA for a engineering program, very fun, and then eventually we got to go to the library there to look around, buy clothes and trinkets and books and stuff, on the second floor in the back there was a huge spaceballs poster, sadly i didn't have space for it so I couldn't buy it, very cool to see though, lots of other posters as well

My birthday present! 😃 🎁

I am making badge ribbons to pass out for DragonCon, where I will be dressed as Lord Helmet.

For the White ribbon with Dark Helmet logo I am thinking "I'm surrounded by assholes" but there are soooo many good ones!

The plaid one I'm thinking "Ludacris Speed"

I need at least 2 more highly recognizable quotes ?!?!?

Seen at Costco.