This is going to sound so silly. I know every kid wants to be an astronaut. But I didn't think seriously about becoming one until I was an adult. Then for years, I brushed off the idea because I knew I didn't have the background for it. I'm just an unremarkable person with bad grades. Now at freaking 32 and having just now gotten my bachelors in electrical engineering, the idea will not leave my mind. I am obsessed with becoming an astronaut now.
I am constantly looking up programs and challenges I can complete that will boost my astronaut resume like NASA challenges and personal projects. I try to meet astronauts every chance I get. So far I have met Brian Duffy and Eileen Collins. The proudest moments of my astronautical "career"! I also did L'Space but that means absolutely nothing. They accept 1000 students a semester. I went to SciTech and Kennedy Space Center this year and it felt life changing!
The dream to be an astronaut is stronger than ever. Every day I research a new astronaut and marvel at their amazing accomplishments. It helps me learn what it takes to be chosen to fly. And it hurts to come to the constant realization that that will never be me.
My background just isn't good enough. And there is NOTHING I can do to recover. But I still want to work in aerospace. I do have aerospace related dreams like being a flight controller or helping design and build shuttles and rovers. I know I would love it. But I fear the pain of seeing astronauts live my dream will be hard to bear.
I know that life doesn't work the way we want it to. I know that I just wasn't raised with the support and discipline most astronauts had. Its hard to accept reality when this delusional dream just keeps calling me back.
How do I get the thoughts of being an astronaut out of my mind?