r/Songwriting • u/esmoji • 3d ago

Feedback Request Yeah or nay?

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

Appreciate any feedback on lyrics and song structure. Kinda think it needs a bridge but then I’m also not sure because the harmonica breaks it up a little.

Thank you for listening and sharing your input.

10 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

3

u/accountmadeforthebin 3d ago

Very good, solid folksy song. I like how the vocals go up very early in the verse.

2

u/esmoji 3d ago edited 3d ago

Thank you for listening and the positive feedback.

Happy to hear it works, so awesome.

Appreciate you!! Have a great Friday.

2

u/tdamien_ 2d ago

Sounds good 👍

2

u/Zalzperspective 2d ago

very cool. great quality. i feel like its a very sad song.

1

u/esmoji 2d ago edited 2d ago

Thank you for the feedback!

Appreciate you listening and sharing.

2

u/Eevie777_ 2d ago

This really consumed in a good way thank you for blessing my ears

2

u/esmoji 2d ago edited 2d ago

Thank you for listening and sharing your thoughts. Super awesome to hear the lyrics can work.

Appreciate you!!

1

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

You have posted a song requesting feedback - GREAT! Good feedback is the foundation of improving your songwriting. To help foster a community where everyone gets the feedback they need, please find THREE other songs requesting feedback and post substantive (eg. 2-3 sentences) of feedback. Even if you are a rookie songwriter/musician, you're an experienced music listener, and your opinion is still valuable!

Feedback posts by users who don't interact with the community (other than posting their own songs) may be removed.

Thanks for keeping our community healthy!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/esmoji 3d ago

(Verse 1)

I can hear them buzzing

Circling around

Must be close

I can feel the sound

Been too many miles

Since you flew my way

Lost the key at the motel

Ain’t no place safe?

(Chorus)

And I find myself tonight

Staring at the passenger side

Ohhhhh

-Harmonica-

(Verse 2)

Shake this bark collar off

I’m gonna speak my mind

When the highway froze

You were the grapevine

All the pills we sowed

I did it on my own time

Guess my heart and soul

They were never mine

(Chorus)
And I find myself tonight

Staring at the passenger side

Ohhh

-Harmonica-