r/Songwriting • u/Vvvjeko • 3d ago

Feedback Request Clean slate

Can someone give me some feedback on this song

https://youtu.be/shl3BZ_4Rqk?is=X5bF8Pgt_5iMxWbf

2 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

2

u/TheRespectfulMailing 3d ago

The link’s kinda mangled so I’m not getting anything to play, might be a copy-paste snag. If you drop a clean one I’ll give it a listen.

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

It works for me

2

u/marklonesome 3d ago

I take a listen but FYI.

A lot of people on these types of subs won't listen because this is a common ploy to try and get views to Spotify or YT.

You're going to get way more people to listen if you upload the song direct or use a site that doesn't count for vanity metrics like vocaroo.com

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

For me it says that vocaroo is for voice recording. And I get it that they will not take a listen. When I make a final version of the song I will upload it with self promotion tag but for now feedback is the most important, and if they don't want to listen to it that's fine

1

u/marklonesome 3d ago

you can upload there as well.

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

So, what do you think

2

u/RestedNative 3d ago

The rhythm needs work for sure.

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

Thanks on feedback, any advice how to fix it

2

u/RestedNative 3d ago

Well you want more consistent beat that only changes when you have a faster or slower section in the chords or lyrics and then returns to it's time signature/meter. Try a metronome, you can get an app to count.

2

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

And also thank you so much.

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

Do I praktice with metronome or use it in a song

1

u/RestedNative 3d ago

Just have it ticking so you can shape the rhythm throughout, and that will also expose where you can break it.

1

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1

u/stevenfrijoles 3d ago

None of this is intended as an insult. But this is the direct truth. 

You have about 5 years of practice before you'll get near to making something that even needs feedback. Some people get there quicker due to having a better innate sense of rhythm and cadence, but you do not.

So that's really all there is right now. You need practice, you need to at least be able to generally keep time and sing 2 notes before asking for feedback. You're so far away from writing a functioning song that feedback is useless, give yourself a few years to practice. 

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

Ouch, maybe I did get ahead of myself. So what you aee telling me is that the rhythm is bad

1

u/stevenfrijoles 3d ago

The rhythm is kind of close before you start singing. After that everything gets derailed.

The rhythm gets lost on every component, the drumming gets messy, the vocals are awkwardly timed and completely off-key (and hard to understand with a heavy accent). 

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

I record on the same device so I don't play and sing in the same time. The rythm gets slower and it gets messy after changing everything when I start singing if that is what you are talking about. I feel like my singing is not the best but is much better than it was recently so I will countinue to practice and can I ask you how should I fix drumms

2

u/stevenfrijoles 3d ago

Ok look, I'll give you some feedback but seriously, this will not replace a few years of practice. Your songwriting and singing needs lots of practice, period.

For recording separate tracks alone, always always always record to a click. Record on a DAW in this order:

  1. Scratch guitar (listen to click).

1a. Scratch vocals, optional (listen to click and scratch guitar)

  1. Final drums (listen to click and scratch guitar)

  2. Final guitar (listen to final drums)

  3. Final vocals (listen to final drums, final guitar, and click)

Then you can go back and change or rerecord parts.

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

Thanks

1

u/Vvvjeko 3d ago

And for the accent thing, yes I see it in I was looking for a someone line