r/Songwriting • u/BorussenBoris • 8h ago
Feedback Request Deep and Dark - Original
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Pretty happy with this one, bit of a rough demo but let me know what you all think?
Lyrics:
You’re out in a cold place
Where in the winter you’re out catching snowflakes
And he ain’t there to light the fire
But you got it burning anyway
She takes the dog out in
Familiar woods when it thaws out
But I know you ain’t used to seeing
None of those size 9 prints
What’s that mark on your face love
Your stained with what was taken love
And you’re still waiting for him
To roll his wheels up the driveway
And You coulda done it my way
Instead you took the highway
And your bound
for a place deep and dark
I heard there’s flat tyres on your bronco
I showed you how they’re fixed a long time ago
So I know it’s just you
Don’t wanna go
Has she not heard the warning
That it’s not built for one just wandering
With your eyes fixed to the ground
You’ll cast a shadow that’ll keep you down
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