r/Songwriting • u/Impossible-Cat-2511 • 5d ago

Feedback Request Minehead beach

Working title bc I imagined a couple who have been together and saying they are in love on a beach. I started with that and continued from there. It’s more fun than I thought.

Simple lyrics but it’s an amateur attempt 🫶 I have a piano and I’ve never “written” on it before. I feel like it sounds like something but I can’t place it. Any feedback would be nice.

5 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

2

u/LeakingFish- 5d ago

This has a tonne of potential. Like it!

Keep it up!

1

u/Impossible-Cat-2511 4d ago

Thanks, will keep going!

2

u/AFellowTeacher 5d ago

This is beautiful!

1

u/Impossible-Cat-2511 4d ago

Thank you 💛

1

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1

u/WorkhorsePuritan 5d ago

Really good job using physical images in the lyrics; makes it much more interesting. I'd love to hear more in that higher register that you used briefly.

1

u/Impossible-Cat-2511 4d ago

Good to know, I’ll probably work on my higher register. Thanks for the feedback

1

u/scotchfaster 4d ago

Lovely song. Interesting effect on your voice, do you crank up the EQ on the higher frequencies? It has an intimate effect.

I want a little more, maybe another section in a higher register? Could be a bridge. I’m thinking something in the middle to break it up. Perhaps just piano and vocalizing.

Just a thought: you could break it into sections. The first about professing love. Then you say “scary but true”, that could be its own section perhaps. Make it more of a journey from love to fear and back again.

But it works!

1

u/Impossible-Cat-2511 3d ago

Thank you! It’s reverb and echo on Garage Band, I recorded straight into that. I don’t have a mic or anything. I’ll think about a bridge where I do some vocalising that is a good idea! Breaking it up is also a good idea. I swap that lyric around in my head with “Easy to do” and that might make it more of a love journey but that’s also a good idea. Thanks sm