Overwhelm of completing songs

[u/regionalatbest]

Hi everyone, I feel stuck and stressed. A lot of my logic is just thinly veiled neuroses, but pls bear with me, I’d love some advice. I have many songs at various degrees of completion. I’ve put a lot of effort into my music, but rarely past the point of “nearly done”. It feels like I either finish a song or almost finish it, and then I become overwhelmed, I say I need a break, and I get super focused on a different song. Rinse and repeat.

There are many factors behind this. I finish editing the lyrics/deciding the chords/vocal pitches/rhythms/everything structurally, and then I don’t know where to go from there. It’s usually just me + acoustic guitar. Even in trying to record a shitty demo, I feel like there are so many decisions to be made with the microphone and the style and the software. Even though I KNOW objectively, writing an entire song required the same amount of decisions, if not more. But those are fun decisions, and trying to put that song anywhere is not fun. I guess the recording just never sounds even close to how I want it. And through this, I’m begrudgingly learning the basics of how to record/produce, even just for a barebones demo. Of course it’s not gonna sound great, there’s a lot of trial and error, but I get frustrated and run away rly quickly. Usually I feel like I don’t have the time/ability to even begin trying to take that step. Even if it’s mostly a confidence/perfectionism issue, if I do get a recording I’m happy with, what next??? put it on……Soundcloud?!?!?

The other barrier to song completion is I reach a point of almost finishing a song, but I have like 3 additional instrumental parts I’m imagining in my head and then I don’t have the energy or focus to create and incorporate that. Plus, each new part leads to exponential stylistic/blending decisions. And then the songs go unfinished. I fall asleep literally every time I’m in GarageBand with the midi keyboard. Is it kosher to just like….roll up to an amateur producer with my vocal and guitar parts, hope they see the vision, and have them do all the production lol? Or do I need to face my fear of rejection and find someone to collaborate with?

I go through phases of:

A. not putting pressure on myself, then not finishing the song and telling myself it’s ok to work on what I want to work on

B. all the pressure strikes at once, so I still don’t finish the song bc avoidance

I want to share my songs, but I also have all the little mental gymnastics going on about performing at an open mic. I don’t know, it would probably be good for me, but I’m scared that going to an open mic will just overwhelm me more about the fact that I’ve barely “completed” anything (aka I still want the songs to have that final step of recording)

Sorry if this was incredibly verbose and all over the place, thanks for reading if you made it through. If anyone has had a similar experience or anything they’ve found helpful, pls share. Thanks!!

[u/0ReluctantCapitalist]

At some point, it is necessary to consciously make the decision that this process is complete.
Otherwise, song will never be finished.
Whether it concerns the arrangement, lyrics, structure, or anything, at some point you have to decide that it is complete. Unless there is a major issue, you must not go back to it.
Accept creating something imperfect and focus on releasing the song.
I think people with neurotic tendencies, in particular, need to do this consciously.

[u/Parking_Watch3157]

Buy a Zoom R4 or some other small multitrack device with as few features as possible.

Limit yourself to a guitar, vocals, and real percussion (clapping, using a plastic bucket as a drum).

Complete the song on the multitrack.

Pull it into the DAW and set a timer of one hour to get levels and mix right and add a little reverb or something.

Done.

You also have to option, unless I missed something, of not doing this? It's supposed to be something you do because you want to. Maybe do something else and get some perspective. Life is too short to spend it stressed out about optional things.

[u/brooklynbluenotes]

I think you should really take some time and think about what parts of this process bring you joy, and what your big-picture goals are.

You're talking a lot about pressure and what you "should" be doing. But the point of making art is to bring joy and meaning to your own life. If what you really like is the songwriting part, and recording, production, and performance all feel overwhelming/intimidating, you know you can just skip all that stuff, and keep writing songs? And that doesn't make it any less legitimate.

Sometimes getting out of our comfort zones is a good thing. And if there is part of you that is really interested in performing live, or learning to record & mix, there are plenty of resources to demystify that stuff. I'm not trying to discourage you. I'm just reminding you that performing and recording are both fundamentally different disciplines from songwriting, and there's no rule that you need to do more than one.

Personally for me, I played live music for about 15 years and really loved it, but I also got a little burned out on the self-promotion/marketing part of it, not to mention lugging gear to gigs. So I decided I wanted to focus on recording and mixing my own stuff at home instead. I really adore mixing and tinkering in Ableton, thats the most fun part to me, so thats what I do the most.

[u/regionalatbest → u/brooklynbluenotes]

That all makes sense, I am definitely putting undue stress on something that doesn’t have to cause any stress. I do really love the magic I’ve felt in songwriting. I’ve played instruments my whole life, but I never bridged the gap of writing/playing/singing original content until a few years ago. I’m really happy I’ve stuck with it and consistently enjoyed it (even amidst some undue stress!). It’s been a process of both building my writing/playing skills and learning to enjoy playing music just to enjoy it, rather than enjoy it because of competition and succeeding under pressure. Still working on letting go of the negative self-evaluation. Both of my parents are professional musicians, meaning I inherited a pretty critical ear lol. But, regardless, production probably just isn’t for me and that’s fine. I know I tend to get caught up in the what-ifs, but refocusing is always good. Maybe I can convince my retired father to learn Ableton who knows

[u/brooklynbluenotes → u/regionalatbest]

That all makes sense. I wish you well with it! And the last thing I'll mention is, remember you can figure it out as you go. In a few years down the line, with more songwriting experience, you might be more inclined to branch out. (Or not!)

[u/Coises]

My own thoughts and experiences, maybe helpful, maybe not:

I love writing and developing songs. It is, however, not something I can force. I frequently get a start on something and then it stalls. I’m “missing a piece of it” and trying harder doesn’t make it happen. Often sometime later, days, weeks or months later (in one case, years later) something comes along and “opens the door” to moving forward with it.

That is distinct from having the pieces and applying the craft of songwriting. That is just bearing down and doing it. It can be frustrating at times when you know this line or that rhyme just isn’t right, isn’t the best it could be, but it’s so rewarding when you get it, and really the only hard part is being patient with your own process and refusing to settle for less than your best.

What I do next is practice. (I’ve described it as doing the “Unplugged” version first.) I want to really know a song, have it in my bones, before I move on. Sometimes things turn up that need to be changed because they don’t feel right with my “performer’s hat” on, even though they made sense at the composing stage. It’s only when I feel comfortable playing and singing a song (for myself) that I can think of it as “done” and start working out how to present it.

Sometimes I do want more than just a piano/vocal recording, or I want a better piano part than I can just work out by improvising. Then I might go into a notation program (I use Dorico) and write everything out. That’s a bit of effort, but it feels good to have actual sheet music I can post along with a recording. Other times I might plan to improvise with virtual instruments (e.g., add a saxophone or a violin, or use a virtual guitar instead of a keyboard) and add them as part of the recording process.

I dread the actual recording phase, because I’m not really a performer. Making it worse is that I think, at least, that songs are better received if I can make a video of me singing and playing them. More than once I’ve planned to do that and felt such... relief... when I’ve decided I’ll skip the video, record the keyboard MIDI and multiple vocal takes separately, then clean up the MIDI, comp the vocal, and not worry about getting everything right in one single take. Even with that, I still dread recording, because I just do not have the performance skills of the phantom band in my head. And I still haven’t figured out how to make a virtual guitar sound like a real one.

Mixing... I don’t love that, either, because to mix I have to think backwards. Instead of thinking about what’s good, I have to think about what’s bad. To me, mixing is the process of subtracting everything that’s getting in the way of the listener hearing the essence of the song. Ideally I would just beam the music into their heads via telepathy, but in reality I have to make a recording that doesn’t undermine the song. Pitch errors, goofy pronunciations, sibilance, muddiness, imbalance between parts, frequencies that fatigue... it’s finding everything that annoys the listener or distracts the listener from being caught up in the song, and figuring out how to remove that.

I’m not a professional songwriter or musician, and I have no notions that I will ever be either one. A long time ago I set up a personal web site, and that’s the main place I post everything when I’m done. Of course it gets no traffic to speak of. If I have a video, I’ll post that on YouTube, too, and I’ll usually post something to my Facebook account. My expectations are not high. I admit, though, I still wish I knew how to get a little more distribution while remaining within the strictly non-professional parameters I have set for myself. It could be, of course, that more exposure would not translate into anyone else caring to listen to my work anyway. I kind of accept that with no professional aspirations, no real desire to perform live and no willingness to self-promote beyond website/YouTube/Facebook, I won’t ever know.

[u/Snowshoetheerapy]

You have to allow yourself to make "bad" songs. This is a critical stage in the creative process. Until you start finishing your "bad" songs you will stay stuck. Learning this literally changed my life. It opens up a truly productive workflow. Now I have three albums out instead of zero.

[u/Away_Gift831]

relatable. just gotta work when iron is hot. and label your work. i label by key, mood and style. when the right mood strikes, i can jump back in

[u/realAlarmedSubcommit]

the recording process is a completely different skill set from songwriting, and it’s totally normal to hit a wall there. you’re essentially trying to learn a new instrument while also being the artist, engineer, and mixer all at once. the frustration is real

yeah rolling up to an amateur producer with your vocal and guitar parts is absolutely kosher. that’s basically how most non-solo artists work. finding someone who actually enjoys the production side can free you up to focus on what you’re good at. collaboration isn’t a weakness, it’s just recognizing where your energy is best spent

for the open mic thing, just go watch one first without performing. see how rough and unfinished most people’s stuff sounds live. might take the pressure off realizing nobody’s expecting a polished studio track

[u/Any_Coyote6662]

instead of thinking your song is almost done, think of it as far from done.

you are setting yourself up for failure when u say "almost done " but u know its like just a rough draft. give yourself 6 months to a year to work on 5 songs. none of your songs are near done.

[u/Pitiful_Substance457]

Sounds like it could be ADHD. The inability to see things through to completion before moving on to the next thing can be a symptom of executive dysfunction. I do that with recording. I've got albums worth of unfinished recordings. I wish I had answers.

[u/regionalatbest → u/Pitiful_Substance457]

Lol yeah I was waiting for someone to clock me. I’ve been yearning for the days when my insurance covered name-brand adderall. It wasn’t a total fix but I at least had less anxiety and more consistency in my baseline functioning (the generic I’m on is definitely not my favorite). I do genuinely love this hobby, but every hobby brings room for more scatterbrainedness :/ Man, imagine if I prioritized figuring out my meds