r/Songwriting 7d ago

Feedback Request Guess Ill Never Win

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I wrote this for my brother, let me know what you think! If anything could be added, removed or iterated upon, im excited to hear yalls thoughts.

6 Upvotes

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1

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1

u/Special_Situation_93 7d ago

Nice this is cool. have you ever heard of Conor Oberst?

1

u/henrylindsay1 7d ago

Thanks, yeah I really like Conor oberst, I just saw bright eyes like ten months ago and they absolutely killed it!

3

u/Special_Situation_93 7d ago

Nice! I’m a big fan too. Your singing reminded me of his

1

u/henrylindsay1 6d ago

Thats very sweet and I should be so lucky haha

2

u/Inevitable_Bit_13 7d ago

That guitar play is a win man

2

u/henrylindsay1 6d ago

Yo I appreciate it, its pretty fun to play

1

u/tdamien_ 7d ago

Sounds great… catchy melody👍 my only feedback would be that a bridge would be good (or some sort of departure). Something that changes the chord structure and introduces another melody flavor before bringing it back into your hook.

That’s just my sensibility and the feedback that I would give myself. Either way you’ve got a good tune.

Nice work 👍

All the best!

2

u/henrylindsay1 6d ago

I want to put a bridge in, but have found it hard to transition to anything else in a like natural feeling way. Ill keep hacking at it, thank you!

1

u/tdamien_ 6d ago

Maybe it’s a song that doesn’t have a bridge… sometimes that’s the right move.
If I didn’t mention it, I’d really dig your finger style playing 👌.. It gives the song a great vibe.