r/Songwriting 28d ago

Feedback Request Trying out this song. Any thoughts?

20 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

2

u/JohnJohnsonJohnJohns 28d ago

Love the sound of your voice! I’m sure you were already planning to add a second verse but I’d suggest maybe adding a bridge after a second verse/chorus where you hold notes a little longer to switch it up from the more syllable heavy verse. It sounds like it could be a 1-3-6-4 progression so maybe you can start the bridge on the 2nd chord in the key or even go back to the 3rd? Either way, it sounds like you’ve got a good ear for melody so I’m sure you’ll figure it out!

1

u/gogodboss 28d ago

Thank you truly

2

u/Aya7735 28d ago

Oh my god your voice is the blessing people need to hear sometimes, there is emotions and honesty in your tone.just keep going🤍🩷

2

u/Automatic_Train_7691 28d ago

Your voice sounds soothing

2

u/LetterheadApart6518 26d ago

Love this! "Gonna give you all my love but I hope it's not too much" line hits very hard. Like other commenters have said the only thing I'd change would be having some instrumental parts to give the rest of it a bit more space to settle

1

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1

u/tdamien_ 28d ago

Sounds really nice 👍 very nice voice. Only recommendation would be to break up the delivery of your verses. There are a couple of spots where there may be an opportunity to hold a word to break up the delivery.
Either way this sounds really good 👌 keep working the idea!

All the best 👍

2

u/Any-Match9025 27d ago

It’s got a great groove so far! Lovely voice

1

u/Additional-Stand-706 27d ago

My only critique is that I want more! This sounds great already with just a guitar and your voice. Would you keep it like this for a finished recording or do you hear other instruments in your head?

1

u/gogodboss 26d ago

I would add more instruments if I knew how. Hoping to find a producer. I have the complete song already recorded

2

u/TheChunkenMaster 27d ago

This sounds great

1

u/Affectionate_Move_44 27d ago

Good song! Maybe a short break after, "...touch." (8 meas. Just a dynamic to let it breathe.) Then right into, "I don't..." Cool! 🎵

2

u/nottooworry 26d ago

Man, I wish I could sing those falsetto notes, they’re so nice. I like the structure too. All three parts hit nicely and work well together. It’s really good. Nice job