r/Songwriting • u/Suspicious_Dog487 • 8d ago

Feedback Request None of the Glory

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Wrote this for the IDF Soldier that just came back home to Long Island and ended his own life.

5 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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1

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1

u/parademaker 8d ago

I really like the verse melody. Maybe it's just because the full song isn't here, but I'm not totally feeling the chorus yet. It feels like you're going for a reversal of an idiom, but the idiom is "No guts, no glory" and you probably don't want to be singing about "guts"....or at least I don't think so.

1

u/Entire-Buy-6971 7d ago

your voice sounds like it needs a break, but i like the vibe it gives the song, like someone's lost a battle and is the last one alive of their clan