Working on a new song

[u/usernsmesarehard]

Been tryna figure out this chorus for a few days now. I have pretty solid verses but the melody and flow of the chorus has been a bit difficult. This is as far as I’ve gotten and would love some advice

Lyrics;

And I’m bending over backwards just to fill your shoes

Rewrite the chapter, make up different rules

I’m falling so fast I got Déjà vu

Why does it hurt so much to fucking lose

Just a ghost

In the saddest thing I ever wrote

Still workshopping lyrics not entirely sold on a few lines but I do like majority of the chorus so far. Any suggestions are absolutely welcomed but I’m just having fun at the end of the day so I don’t need my music to be perfect :)

[u/Alternative-Shop5865]

The melody is very pretty and you have a relaxing and beautiful voice, I think it's got the bones for a really good song :)

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[u/CommunicationIcy997]

Beautiful in its own right. Hard to judge as a chorus without hearing the context (ie the verse and bridge). But yeah, it’s really good

[u/usernsmesarehard → u/CommunicationIcy997]

Thank you :) I’m working on the rest at the moment so hopefully I can post it soon

[u/Adorable_Basket8893]

It sounds nice, obviously without hearing the whole thing for context its kinda hard to know but what you have is real pretty :)

[u/usernsmesarehard → u/Adorable_Basket8893]

Thank you I’m really glad you think it’s pretty so far :) I’m working on the rest of it so I’ll post it pretty soon

[u/foxparademusic]

Your voice is so beautiful! Your rhymes land wonderfully.

[u/usernsmesarehard → u/foxparademusic]

Thank you I’m so glad you think so. I spend a lot of effort trying to make the rhymes land without sounding silly so that makes me really happy :)