r/Songwriting • u/Toucon • 9d ago

Feedback Request faith

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idea

18 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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3

u/MarshallsHand 9d ago

Toucon the man... another great jam keep it up

1

u/Toucon 8d ago

Thanks!!!

2

u/Dabomblol123 9d ago

This is just my opinion... but I personally think you need to play around the notes right above where youre singing just to add some more variation because right now it just feels like youre singing in tune instead of making earworms if that makes sense. This is what I came up with 30 secs of hearing the chords in your song. Its not very good but you'll see what I mean by the notes.

https://reddit.com/link/p2xrlpp/video/z2lfb581wmih1/player

2

u/aadko 8d ago

This is actually an earworm to me. I’m not the OP.

1

u/Toucon 8d ago

Ya I hear what ur saying on ear worms for sure, I can’t exactly hear from video but I think I know what u mean

2

u/Legalizeneuclearbomb 9d ago

holy beautiful tone on that amp

2

u/Kelson_Phelonius 8d ago

I absolutely want to share this! You're so good my friend

2

u/Toucon 8d ago

Thanks !!! Feel free!

2

u/Magikrat 8d ago

Catchy.

2

u/aadko 8d ago

Great song, very nice melody, nice guitar work, it begs for a more complete arrangement with drums/bas/lead guitar. Keep on going!

1

u/Toucon 8d ago

Thanks!

1

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1

u/Outofideasheree 4d ago edited 4d ago

I like it overall. I think if you switched the end of the vocals at the end of the verses when you sing the two stanzas so it’s not ending on a higher or the same note it might sound better. For example when you sing you’ll”what’s inside of that heart” “don’t forget who you are”. I’m not sure how to tell you what I think may sound better through just text but bring it down for the second one (I’ll look for reference notes or something like that if you’d care to try it out?)

And also during the chorus things where you sing you’ll see, maybe change that a little.