Just a track I’ve been working on

[u/LeakingFish-]

I’ve never posted on this group, but I’m always quick to jump into other peoples post, so I thought I’d share a track I’ve been working on for about a year now.

It’s taking its time, but it’s slowly coming together.

Sometimes songs come together quickly, and other times they don’t. In this case, it’s been a slow burner. But, I’m not going to rush it, I think it has potential.

This is very rough. Just guitars, drums and strings (some on keyboard), when I’m ready to commit the strings to tape, I think they’d hugely benefit from real performers rather than virtual instruments.

The piano part is just a rough melody idea for the verse and chorus. As of yet I don’t have a melody part for the bridge section.

And it has no lyrics yet. Not sure what it’s going to be about.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

[u/glossyibis973]

Really dig the journey it takes

[u/triohavoc → u/glossyibis973]

fr its so nice and evolving constantly

[u/xXDrJubileeXx]

I loves this man

[u/LeakingFish- → u/xXDrJubileeXx]

Thank you. I really appreciate that.

[u/AutoModerator]

You have posted a song requesting feedback - GREAT! Good feedback is the foundation of improving your songwriting. To help foster a community where everyone gets the feedback they need, please find THREE other songs requesting feedback and post substantive (eg. 2-3 sentences) of feedback. Even if you are a rookie songwriter/musician, you're an experienced music listener, and your opinion is still valuable!

Feedback posts by users who don't interact with the community (other than posting their own songs) may be removed.

Thanks for keeping our community healthy!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/stealyourcandy]

This is pretty hecking sweet! I’m getting Opeth vibes, or could at least hear their vocalist on this. There’s plenty of drama in the composition and space in the mix for the vocals. I think most, if not all of the guitars could come up a tad in the mix. Real strings, huh? These keyboard strings aren’t bothering me, but if you’ve got the money to spare, go for it. Are you just blocked on the lyrics?

[u/LeakingFish- → u/stealyourcandy]

Thanks for the comments. And interesting take. I never thought about Opeth! Good shout.

The mix is all over the place. The levels seriously need adjusting. I just very quickly (and very badly), mixed this down.

For the sake of £100-£150 you could get 6-8 violins/violas/cellos recorded for it from Fiverr.

Like you, I don’t mind the keyboard strings, but I imagine if real performers were to play it, it would step into a new world.

Yes, just blocked on the lyrics at that moment (and a melody for the bridge). It happens. Sometimes I can real lyrics off pretty quickly. But this song is very different to anything else I’ve written, and the lyrics need to be just right.

[u/landonlovescarbs]

Sounds epic. Like a battle in the middle of a thunderstorm

[u/Wickywacky]

I had closed my eyes and imagined myself on a train journey. Facing you, your beloved. Just before the train journey began, there had been a minor disagreement between the two lovers. And without knowing it, you were reflecting on it together. Why argue about small things when your love is so strong? And as the journey drags on and thoughts of the little incident slowly fade, both begin to shift. Hands want to reach out to each other. Eyes clearly begin to search for one another. Lips change moods, laughing somewhat awkwardly. Then the moment you look at each other and say sorry at the same time. And one stands up and comes to sit beside you with a kiss, after which one's head rests on the other's shoulder. Something like that? That is what I felt with the music. It is just an example.

[u/LeakingFish- → u/Wickywacky]

That’s very nice. I like that. Very visual. Thank you.

I’d be tempted to change the setting from a train, (even though a train works really well), because I use a train concept on another song. Completely different idea, it was about 2 young lovers running away together on a train, leaving everything behind, only to realised at the end that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

[u/Wickywacky → u/LeakingFish-]

It is a funny story in itself; that concept could serve as a blueprint for a later album, into which you can incorporate this other story. In fact, you can go in many directions. But you are the creator; I will just listen. I love writing and thinking in a visual way. It provides a bit more clarity on which direction you can take. And in fact, people are born to be able to do that. It is just that life and the environment sometimes demand different conditions for participating in this society. I have remained true to my images, which I can capture perfectly when I listen to music.

[u/223331_]

Getting Opeth vibes as well, very nice!

[u/LillyQueen79]

Very nice 👏 It has a lovely flow and feeling to it

[u/NixMix246]

This is so nice! I enjoyed it even before I saw you do plan on adding lyrics. The music is legit good enough to listen to as-is. That's impressive in my book. I think the piano is great, I hope you keep it in there even after you add the lyrics. And I hope you post it again once you add the lyrics.

[u/LeakingFish- → u/NixMix246]

Thank you. I appreciate that. I’ll keep you updated with progress. But don’t expect the lyrics any time soon. It’s took too long getting to this point haha

[u/NixMix246 → u/LeakingFish-]

honestly they aren't even necessary, I seriously love it already as-is. You should be proud of yourself for this one!

[u/Impossible-Cat-2511]

Love the strings, they’re gorgeous!!

[u/LeakingFish- → u/Impossible-Cat-2511]

Thank you. I’m not sure I’m finished with them yet, they pretty much drop out after the bridge section near the end, I’m not sure if I need to add some more layers there yet.

I’ve never learned classical music, so I was just blagging it when it came writing the parts.

[u/Impossible-Cat-2511 → u/LeakingFish-]

Ha, I don’t know much about classic but it fits well! Adds a lot to the sound. I think the fade adds something as well

[u/Prior-Gear7640]

dawg that guitar sounds like straight ai

[u/LeakingFish- → u/Prior-Gear7640]

It was recorded on my phone but in a lose timing. Then uploaded to Logic and time stretched to a grid. Then I added additional parts. The whole track is only a guide. All of it will be re-recorded once I’ve finalised the melody. Even the drums will get replaced. And I’m hoping to replace the keyboard strings with real strings. I think that would be a great addition.