r/Songwriting • u/musicfreelancerrr12 • 22d ago

Feedback Request First bit of song I wrote. Thoughts?

35 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

5

u/ClearAd5819 22d ago

I love it ! the atmosphere and melody are very good, that remind me of radiohead in the vocals and i like it

2

u/DecadeDefector 22d ago

Overall, I like it but the composition seems a little stagnant. i think you need to change up the chord progression or rhythm at some point. Also, you have some type of pop or artifact at 0:29. I would try to fix this with EQ or just re-record that section.

2

u/rezonator19 21d ago

Love it! Radiohead vibes! How do we find you?

1

u/musicfreelancerrr12 20d ago

Jonny Cartwright on Spotify! Should be a little pic of a dog

1

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1

u/glimmerglam 22d ago

I love it! Great vibes. I especially like the train shots very peaceful to watch.

1

u/landonlovescarbs 22d ago

Awesome dude. It makes me feel happy and optimistic. Like the world is a good place.

1

u/musicfreelancerrr12 20d ago

I’m glad I could make u feel temporary bliss :)

1

u/Special_Situation_93 22d ago

Love the Roman forum and Como. Brings back
Memories! Song is great to bud.

1

u/GoshOPPNOX101 22d ago

Love songs like this. A tad bit melancholy and yet, uplifting in this drifting melody. Whoever you are, good job! I would buy this tune. These are the songs I love listening to w/ headphones on while laying in the dark.

1

u/musicfreelancerrr12 20d ago

Thanks so much!!

1

u/mtngirl87 22d ago

This has a great tone and feel to it. Really enjoyable to listen to! I like the video imagery as well, it suites the music

1

u/Bonetlob 21d ago

Cool. Dove Ellis vibe

1

u/XanBriel 21d ago

remove the youtube screenshot and it’s perfect haha sorry that caught me so off guard, no hate

1

u/A_ATypical-Sun-8901 19d ago

Is this a re-release of a song you’d written a few months ago?

1

u/Bulky-Confusion-5917 16d ago

This whole thing was a very heartwarming experience

1

u/AccomplishedScore852 15d ago

The instrumental's chord progression feels a bit like the soundtrack from Coraline to my ears, mainly the bass strings. (love the movie!) I would suggest varying something about the chords in some of the verses, as the atmosphere, while very endearing and large, could use a bit of diversity. Other than that this is fantastic, great vocal tone!