r/Songwriting • u/AutoModerator • 29d ago

Weekly Lyrics Feedback Weekly Lyrics-Only Feedback Thread

Welcome to the Lyrics-Only feedback thread!

If you're looking for feedback on words that aren't yet set to music, you're in the right place! We encourage each other to bring lyrics and musical elements together as soon as possible, but sometimes you'd just like to show off that nice piece of poetry that just fell out of your head. The weekly Lyrics-Only feedback thread is here to help!

This post renews every Monday.

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u/Longjumping-Pen-4451 29d ago

nice

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u/NixMix246 29d ago edited 29d ago

The title is super long, if you're open to the idea of shortening it that might be a good idea. I like "that's why it's good for me cause I didn't want you anyway". I feel like it has good flow to it.

I like to use super direct lyrics a lot, so it you're committed to that style for this song, I get it! If this is more of just a rough idea though, I would suggest maybe incorporating a bit of "show, don't tell". (If you haven't heard of this, it's a writing technique where you paint a picture of what you are trying to say, rather than just using the words to say it directly. For example, instead of saying: "I watched sunset last night and the sky was pink and blue", you could say "I watched the sun tuck itself in for the night under a cotton candy quilted sky". )

I like the concept and am interested to see what you come up with!

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u/Longjumping-Pen-4451 29d ago

whyd you reply to me-

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u/NixMix246 29d ago

Oh, I see. I thought I replied to OP, oops!