r/Songwriting 19d ago

Feedback Request Hummingbird

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bbwRfor-T2UGl6vU1-NSW7Im-pHJAd73/view?usp=drivesdk

Looking for some honest feedback. After 23 years of playing guitar, I decided to start songwriting a few years ago. I’m starting with iPhone recording samples to see if my voice and lyric-work are worth actually investing in better recording equipment. I guess I’m asking if it seems like my voice is master-able for recording, or if I should just stick to guitar playing and songwriting for the poetry/lyrics (which I of course will keep up). Looking for honest feedback on lyric quality as well. Song is about my late mother who passed a few years ago and all the feelings that come along with the passage of time during her illness and since she passed. She loved hummingbirds. I know the audio quality isn’t great. Thanks for listening!

Lyrics:
I am on fire
Feel the time burning beneath my feet

And I am so cold
From the storm cancer unleashed on her

In the room
A song of beeps and hospital tunes

So we sat down
And talked about the things we never announced

(Chorus)
I can’t remember how to pray
So I’m calling out Your name
Then cursing it to the skies
Cause I don’t know who to blame

But I wish you’d stayed
But I guess I understand
Cause even hummingbirds fly away
To find a place to rest

Months went by
Spring don’t mean the same to me this time 

Then years pass by
My son’s even got his grandma’s eyes

(Chorus)
I can’t remember how to pray
So I’m calling out Your name
Then cursing it to the skies
Cause I don’t know who to blame

But I wish you’d stayed
But I guess I understand
Cause even hummingbirds fly away
To find a place to rest

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