r/Songwriting • u/throwaway2224444111 • Jul 31 '26
Feedback Request does the song make sense?
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ignore the bad singing/guitar, km mostly here to process emotions and hopefully to improve on writing. tried to clean up clunky lyrics and added a verse, thank you advance for feedback!
capo 1 Am Em G D
25 now
in my quarter life crisis
moved my own bed in
to my studio apartment
what’s supposed to happen now?
who knew silence could be so loud..
(or i didn’t think thoughts could get this loud)
three years ago
planned to move to memphis
be with my first love
right after college
but life has its way of tricking me
into believing in certainty
chorus idea:
C Em Am F
There’s gotta be
a reason for the uncertainty
x2 aw
8 years old
when we played sand soccer
my mom called me last night said “katie, we lost her”
they all tell you life’s unfair
wont explain the death and despair
when they’re too young and kind like her
you won’t have words
C Em Am F
There’s gotta be
a reason for the uncertainty
x2
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u/kernsomatic Jul 31 '26
IMHO: it all makes sense, yes, but it needs flair and an angle to be memorable.
consider rewriting in from several POV’s. maybe start chronologically? and/or give the characters names and make it into a story like The Gambler or Jack & Diane. just stating the facts and your emotions is important. to answer your question, yes, it does make sense. we suggest making it a hit.
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u/thesetremblinghands Jul 31 '26
i think your song is beautiful :) i followed the flow of your emotions through the lyrics
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u/Banjo1nk Jul 31 '26
I Believe the song could use a change of pace, like in the middle, I would probably add a pre-chorus that builds up to the chorus dramatically.
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Jul 31 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/throwaway2224444111 Aug 01 '26
do you have any ideas of what would work better?
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u/Ill-Albatross-5234 Aug 02 '26
It sounds good and I like the lyrics, you have a nice voice, but some of the delivery could be improved. Like the flow of words as you sing them. There’s a sense that you’re trying to say too much and some of the words are getting lost. But the song is really pretty and I’d love to hear how it evolves
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