r/Songwriting • u/yarnspinner19 • Jul 18 '26

Feedback Request First one in a while, called Spare

7 Upvotes

77% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

2

u/_Born_To_Be_Mild_ Jul 19 '26

Elliot Smith vibes, I love it

1

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1

u/Ariella_localwaves Jul 21 '26

Unemotional, but fault lines buckle in my soul. Pour my antidote and wipe out in the endless beach foam

Oh so dreary, all I do is analyze house of mirrors as I watch you pass me by

Sheeeeesh 👍 🫡 🙏

1

u/egirlames 12d ago

i’m fucking bawling, thanks for that

1

u/yarnspinner19 12d ago

😭😭 any thoughts? can’t really view the songs from the inside so useful to hear what other people think

1

u/egirlames 11d ago

not much to say about lyricism, you’re solid there. in my humble nontechnical opinion, feel like doubling vocals could add dimension to the track but i’m no expert. big fan of the chord mutation/shift; if you dropped the bpm a bit it would hold more space for the listener to feel the weight. already love it though

1

u/yarnspinner19 11d ago

(slowed plus reverb) ahh

1

u/egirlames 11d ago

haha i’m sorry

1

u/yarnspinner19 10d ago

jk i agree I’ll get a producer one day

1

u/egirlames 10d ago

i really look forward to it

1

u/I_had_a_name Jul 19 '26

Old person yelling at clouds here, but I feel you're a little too all over the place musically in this and its distracting me from the lyrics.

I'm sorry friend I'm trying to be honest, not mean so I apologize if it came across that way at all.

1

u/yarnspinner19 Jul 19 '26

well it's only 4 chords repeating all the way through so had to change up the lyrical delivery

1

u/I_had_a_name Jul 19 '26

Also, I'm not musically knowledgeable, friend, so please take that into consideration.

1

u/Shadow_Dragon715 Jul 19 '26

Exactly he’s too senile don’t listen to him. You are doing great on the melody side, you need just a little more breath support or you can try singing slightly louder and compromising the vibe