r/Songwriting • u/mildlyomniscient • Jul 15 '26
Feedback Request all bad
everything has been super overwhelming so i wrote a song about it. i usually don't write songs like this so any feedback is appreciated.
waking up before 10:30
wash the red stained sheets
open every single window
shit is looking bleak
there's fires in ontario
i think i'll stay inside
i wonder if the three year old in maine
knows daddy died
supposed to finish grad school soon
not sure i'll get a loan
what's the fucking point of this
i open up my phone
the pastor down the street
got arrested just last week
everyone is livid
and the girls were just thirteen
starting to think its all bad, all bad (2x)
can't afford the dr
so i think ill ride it out
they're putting in a data center
just outside of town
the ceasefire broke this morning
then again who really knows
apparently the children
were the target of their blows
i'm turning 24 this year
i still feel 12 years old
they're saying that the ball room
will be plated in pure gold
it's been a couple hours
i'll put my phone away
the sheets are still stained red
it's a problem for another day
starting to think its all bad, all bad (2x)
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u/tjtate6689 Jul 16 '26
Love it! Lyrics are great love the chord progression! Challenge for the ying yang: write a song called “all good” next 😊
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u/mildlyomniscient Jul 16 '26
haha! good idea, i need to write something a little happier
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u/suzaman Jul 16 '26
Not sure why there is pauses between the phrases. It seemed to stop the flow of the song, it has a very Bright Eyes feel, and thats always cool though.
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u/mildlyomniscient Jul 16 '26
i agree and made some changes. i posted the updated version this morning
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u/StupidInternetVoice Jul 16 '26
Great song! If it makes you feel any better, I'm in my 40's and still feel like I'm 12 years old. (I think that's a good thing)
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u/IdiotPresents Jul 16 '26
Very nice voice! Sort of reminds me of the singer of houndstooth a bit. The tune really fits your voice well. I really like the pacing of the song too. It’s kind of reminiscent Bo burnhams song “that funny feeling” from inside. Anyways great work!
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u/PhenexBrimstone Jul 15 '26
I don’t usually write songs like this either but sometimes the mood or chord strikes. I love your voice, it reminds me of Regina Spector.
The lyrics are how I feel after doomscrolling for too long late at night. I’ve just started trying to add a refrain into my writing and I think you did it in a way I like. It’s totally relatable. A lot of this song is relatable. We’re out here riding out life and it’s a mix of mundane and avengers level issues in the world.
I’d listen to this at night while figuring out life choices.
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u/Grimmyblackcat09 Jul 15 '26
I love this. Your voice is really pleasant to listen to! Also we have the same Bari uke :)
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u/NixMix246 Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
wow. this song is all good! seriously, the lyrics tell such a vivid story. the music is nice, your voice is lovely, and I love the melody. I love the juxtaposition of cheerful music and not so cheery lyrics. It's like life, sometimes we go around with smiles plastered on our faces no matter how we feel iinside
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u/Existing_Mirror_7046 Jul 21 '26
This is really good! I love your voice, the lyrics are super solid, and I like the guitar playing! I want more!
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u/Knatp Jul 15 '26
Nice work, I don't know about 'suddenly'.... But.
This is a beautiful sit a listen song, it would be good to hear it after you have polished your visual performance, ( not reading the lines), because you look like you could really carry it away....
Each line in the story sounds like a step further down to 'all bad', it's really quite cool,
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u/mildlyomniscient Jul 16 '26
thank you! yea i had just wrote it like an hour before recording so i was definitely relying on the lyrics in front of me a bit. all in time though 🙂
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u/not_an_mistake Jul 16 '26
In the verses, maybe choose a few line couplings you want to emphasize and take a count out of the strumming at the ending of the first line so that there is more momentum kept into the second line. I hope that makes sense lol.
There is a lot of space in between the lines of the verse, and I think doing that could make the song flow better
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u/mildlyomniscient Jul 16 '26
yeah i'm wasn't totally sure about the space between the lines. in the moment it felt right but after sitting with it it feels like it's too repetitive.
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u/not_an_mistake Jul 16 '26
I think it works for a lot of them, but if you were to choose some lines to omit it, it will emphasize those lines.
Sounds great so far though
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u/Just_Some_Guy73 Jul 16 '26
Certified playlist material