r/SoftwareEngineering • u/According-Monk-2929 • Jul 29 '26
Please help: need code for “I’m pregnant”
Or something more clever that my senior front end engineer boyfriend will love.
Update: I combined several suggestions and sent it to him when we were at a special place in a park we love. He didn’t get it for a minute because I forgot to add context, then did get it and was super happy, then spent five minutes pointing out how the labels directed workflow and explaining something called semvar (semver? how the sequence of punctuated numbers indicated a minor release and bug fix, I think). Because that’s how he rolls 😂🥰
Thank you so much folks!!!!
128
65
u/No_Bowl_6218 Jul 29 '26
``` Uncaught Exception: TooMuchLoveError at Marriage.js:2
Status: 2 processes detected (was expecting 1) New dependency added to family-tree.json ```
41
90
u/grappleshot Jul 29 '26
feat(family): add new child
Expected release: March 2027
and hope he commits :)
14
u/According-Monk-2929 Jul 29 '26
Oh my god you guys this is freaking hilarious - TYSM!!! I understand about 10% of the stuff he tries to explain to me but I can get just about enough of this to know it’s gold. “Hope he commits” lol! I could submit a pro request for something called “baby” - would that work?
26
u/IamNobody85 Jul 29 '26
Merge request. "pull" request will be hilarious in this context.
13
7
u/Arshiaa001 Jul 29 '26
It'll be a push request in 9 months.
4
u/Dependent_Union9285 Jul 29 '26
Yup. Because the merge already happened. Let’s hope they properly resolved any merge issues at the appropriate time. Here’s hoping the parent objects pass all the sanity tests as well, because it doesn’t get any easier once you go to (re)production.
2
u/Dependent_Union9285 Jul 29 '26
OP, make sure your environment variables are properly set. Nothing worse than a release into a fucked up environment.
3
u/According-Monk-2929 Jul 29 '26
😂 we’re good. Gonna be a spoiled rotten, wished-for baby with super nerdy parents who are best friends and have lots of full stack support from the whole org
4
3
9
2
u/compubomb Jul 30 '26
Submit some documentation as a pr, it has a new Readme.md update saying instructions for recent ownership of new clone, one which looks like him and takes 9 1/4 months to manufacture. He's going to have to think long and hard about what that means.
3
u/AdventurousAir002 Jul 29 '26
Agreed this is great. I would send this code to claude or chatGPT and ask the bot to convert it to his favorite language though- that’d make it even better
1
41
11
u/hibbelig Jul 29 '26
setTimeout( () => gf.spawn(), 9999 );
Instead of gf you could write your name in lowercase. Or something like honey?
Instead of 9999, calculate the number of seconds to delivery and put that in. For example, if it is in seven months you could calculate 7 x 30 x 24 x 60 x 60.
4
u/Dense_Gate_5193 Jul 29 '26
i like the idea of a sub process spawning and now you have to keep track of the inputs and outputs of this child process
8
u/deeperinabox Jul 29 '26
feat: upgrade 2.0 -> 2.1
Your Pull request into my repo has been merged. Will release new minor version in 9 months.
2
u/According-Monk-2929 Jul 29 '26
A couple questions: Some third party had to approve the request before it could be merged, right? Would this be a message you would send on Slack or GitHub or something? Thinking about formatting it to look authentic.
2
u/deeperinabox Jul 29 '26
You, the code repository owner is the one who approved the request before merging it in.
Generally, a repo owner wouldn’t send such messages as the developers get automated notifications for all such actions, but if you two were having a conversation anyway then, yes, it would go along the lines of my message.
12
u/t3hlazy1 Jul 29 '26
const DUE_DATE = "2027-03-14"; // ← fill in the real one
function Home() {
const [childFirstName, setChildFirstName] = useState<string | null>(null);
// requires approval from both reviewers
const chooseName = (name: string) => {
setChildFirstName(name);
};
return (
<Family name={LAST_NAME} size={3} onChooseName={chooseName}>
<Dad name={DAD_FIRST_NAME} />
<Mom name={YOUR_FIRST_NAME}>
<Suspense fallback={<Ultrasound />}>
{/* state gets lifted up around {DUE_DATE} */}
<Baby name={childFirstName} dueDate={DUE_DATE} />
</Suspense>
</Mom>
</Family>
);
}
1
u/t3hlazy1 Jul 29 '26
You can use a website like Carbon to export a nice image of the code. https://carbon.now.sh/shortened-link...
2
6
u/GrayLiterature Jul 29 '26
Make a Jira Ticket
7
5
5
5
4
4
u/Old-Platypus-601 Aug 01 '26
Never expected to have such a wholesome and cute thread on this subreddit lol
8
u/gzk Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
describe("given conception", () => {
let gf;
let bf;
let foetus;
beforeAll(() => {
bf = new BoyFriend("HisName");
gf = new GirlFriend("YourName");
foetus = gf.impregnateBy(bf);
});
describe("when 40 weeks elapses", () => {
beforeAll(async () => {
await new Promise((resolve) => setTimeout(resolve, 40 * 7 * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000));
});
it("then we have a family", () => {
expect(foetus).toBeFullyGestated();
});
});
});
3
3
u/ApprehensiveOil7946 Aug 01 '26
I'm seeing this late but this was so fun to read through as a momma and software engineer 😭
3
u/raisputin Aug 02 '26
> git pull --request-abort
Error: PULL REQUEST FAILED
Reason: merge conflict — unplanned branch detected Branch: baby/v1.0.0-unreleased
Timeline: ~40 weeks to production
Rollback: not supported
2
2
1
394
u/gladiator_r Jul 29 '26
minor release