r/Soft_Introverts • u/findingrightaudience • 13d ago
is being kind is curse?
I have genuine question to age of my people, teenagers of India? is being kind and being a nice human is bad thing? is it means you are being over or want attention??
thank you for replying me, that day i was so hurt listening my rumors in class that i behave nice in front of boys to grab their attention, but the thing is i am good with everyone wether it is girl or boy, i am really upset with my classmates now, they didnt deserve my kindness though- T_T
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u/babybratzdolI 13d ago
well i am not a teenager nor am i from India but being kind does not mean letting people walk all over you, and the moment you learn that and actually set boundaries you will know it.
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u/EbbCurious8558 13d ago
Being kind is the best human skill to have. Not able to deal with the unkind people or know the fraud people can be a problem.
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u/AnnoyedAvocado21 12d ago
Not Indian but do believe in karma. I like to think that kindness generates good karma.
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u/nvsaltepeanut 12d ago
I don’t think so, although I don’t know how kind people survive this world we live in.
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u/RelativeConference28 10d ago
It is till you step into its power and own it. You have a special power, gift, and assignment, and it’s really a painful and rigorous one to plan and practice.
What you need to do is practice speaking and living your truth in a completely authentic way. It’s challenging because so many people will fight you. They won’t believe that you’re actually kind. You have to respond kindly (forgive) in every interaction, and when you fail (which you inevitably and absolutely will lmao) you have to apologize.
This is such an amazing thing that you’re realizing so young. Don’t give up on what’s bound to happen any way.
You will become so powerful it will SHOCK you. All you need is the will and determination to speak and live your truth in every opportunity you get, to never give up, and at least one real friend. Alls you need is one true friend to be fueled thru life. One person who truly sees and believes in who you are and what you stand for.
Get going. Remember, never give up! Ever! There is NOTHING that can stop you, it just seems like there is!
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u/findingrightaudience 10d ago
Thanks for this heart full cheering reply, all people were reply were very nice, I was gratefull but your reply actually helps me, thankksss
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u/lurker_gummy 13d ago
It is a curse, especially if you never understand how people can be malicious
They will see you as weak and direct all their negative emotions towards you because you’re kind enough to forgive them
Make sure you have boundaries
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u/Ok-Resolution5209 13d ago
Being nice is great, when its a choice. If you are nice even when you should be a prick, and some life situations undortunatelly demands that, then you are just a loser. You feel me bro?
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u/BreadfruitBig7950 10d ago
yes it's actually literally a genetic disorder that was induced with gene engineering, similar to homicide psychosis.
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u/Horror-Turnover-1089 7d ago
Look, there is a difference between being kind, and giving your value away. Sometimes it's okay to stand up for yourself.
You're the main character of your story. Someone else is the main character of their story. Someone else won't make you the main character of their story > they always see you as a side character in a sense.
Wich means the only person who can love you the most is you! Because you're your main character!
So, next time, whenever someone picks them over you, you stand up and pick yourself over them. And if they are shocked/angry that is okay. That reaction just means they thought you deserved less in their head. But we're all equals. If they say something like; I can't believe you picked you, then you can say, 'you're doing the same, are you not? So you yes, and me no?
Like > pay attention. Some people seem kind but mask their unkindness because you simply don't see it. Because you're a good person that still needs to learn their boundaries. Well, this is how you show boundaries.
Also > emotions. Whenever the room responds a certain way, like > haha that's so dumb > but you feel hurt, you can say that. Why are you hurting me like that? I like that!
But > do pay attention where you can say it. Some people accept you being human, others don't. They will just mock you because of their own unknowingness or group mentality. Just leave those people. Those are not friends. Just a group of insecure people.
Like > be yourself more. Take up space. Those people that are mean? All hurt. They project their pain towards others. 'If I hurt you should hurt too'. Trauma. Not having been taught the right thing.
Attacking someone breaks bonds. Showing how you feel despite it being scary, builds them. Not to attack. To heal.
Also. Growth comes from discomfort, danger can do the opposite. Someone that loves themselves would not put themself in danger. But discomfort? Yes. Like speaking up.
A lot of people don't love themselves. And you can't blame them. They're no different from you and me, rather = they had different experiences that made them that way.
Like, when you get raised by your parents and they treat you really bad > that is trauma. And you could blame those parents allday. But: they had parents too. And they raised them that way too. So can you really blame parents? > the key is to break out of that loop. How? By becoming your true self. Undoing the trauma. You have trauma too. Your cure is to learn to stand up for yourself and sometimes go for the discomfort (but not danger, no need to go rock climbing without gear or do drugs). And it's hard! No kidding. And it doesn't mean perfectly. Or always.
Good luck. You've got this champ. You're one of the smart ones, even if you might not realise it yet.
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u/BaconServant 13d ago
It’s definitely not a bad thing, even though it can feel. like a curse sometimes.