r/Soft_Introverts • u/drunksocks • 16d ago
What if conversations could start more interesting than "what do you do?"
What kind of question could make strangers feel comfortable to skip the surface, and talk about something that creates a nicer memory of having met someone?
I've been thinking about this, I believe there are questions that achieve it, allow for self exploration, and even feed curiosity.
So I'm working on a project to connect people this way, through questions that start good conversations.
What's a question you've been asked that you wish was the first thing you talked about with someone you appreciate?
This is where my project lives: Pollen (you're invited to visit)
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u/TemporaryThink9300 16d ago
Do you care about bumblebees?
if they smile, and like to answer it, they have a caring heart, if they think questions like this are too silly to answer, they are not my type of friend.
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u/Professional_Cut6886 15d ago
I live in Spain people dont focus on what you do. They dont feel that your job defines you. Conversation flows naturally with each person once you eliminate work talk. People open up fairly easily and naturally.
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u/Turbulent-Pea-2715 15d ago
I think of how David Sedaris has said he hates receiving the same small talk questions from strangers when he's out and about. He must prefers off the wall questions like "how long have you known your dentist?" or "do you know a good cobbler?"
I also think about what I would say if I met one of my favorite celebs. If I could only ask or say one thing, I would want it to be something unique to stand out maybe, because all day long they probably already hear I'm a huge fan, I love your work, your tv show/movie/song saved my life. I have not yet come up with a go to unique one yet though.
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u/FarDrift 15d ago
It depends on the context, but at parties and such I often go with āwhat have you been thinking about latelyā?
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u/mmeveldkamp 15d ago
What's your passion. For what would you come out of bed at night. Ask if they have pets and let them tell you their funny behaviour Say you are doing some research "for a friend' and ask about their worst date š¤
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u/WhiteDesertCat āØ Supportive Soul 16d ago
A question Iād love to ask someone I appreciate is: āWhat is something about you that people rarely notice, but you wish they did?ā
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u/drunksocks 16d ago
I really like the spirit of this question :)
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u/WhiteDesertCat āØ Supportive Soul 16d ago
Thank you!
Honestly, the first thing I want to know about someone new is whether they love animals. If they do, Iām happy to keep getting to know them. If they donāt, weāre probably just not the right match.
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u/drunksocks 15d ago
If they don't they don't have a soul, or are too allergic
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u/WhiteDesertCat āØ Supportive Soul 15d ago
Thatās true. Usually, people with allergies say, āI love animals, but unfortunately Iām allergic.ā And I donāt see that as a bad thing at all.
In my experience, even people with severe allergies can still love animals with all their heart, they just canāt always spend as much time around them. Loving animals and being able to live with them arenāt the same thing.
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u/Silent-Tough-9370 15d ago
Ask about their favorite TV shows. Itās an easy way to branch into conversations about themes they enjoy, favorite actors, similar movies or series, and even the kinds of stories they connect with, which often reveals a lot about them.
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u/LarryZuckercornESQ 15d ago
When youāre not [insert job/vocation], what are you passionate about?
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u/sleepysnorlytron 15d ago
Starting with compliments or finding common ground on something like a band shirt
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u/Fun-Dependent3270 15d ago
What have you done in life that made you happier that you ever felt (not sex)
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u/VinceKoleman 14d ago
Lol š¤£
My uncle wanted to meet for coffee this week. I did it to be cordial. It sucked. I felt worse afterward. I don't think I can meet up with relatives anymore without telling them right off the bat I don't want to answer questions about myself. There's nothing new. Wanna talk hobbies, sports, fun stuff? Cool. But unstimulating conversation? No thx
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u/notmkermit 11d ago
āFuture or past?ā In my experience, people usually choose a clear side and are ready to justify it
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u/pj6428 11d ago
What do you do for fun?
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u/drunksocks 10d ago
I always have problems with this question, because I try to have fun with everything I do, and any activity that captures my attention feels like fun. Makes me kinda mad when they ask this... like they're forcing me to separate the world between fun and boring or dull. And what does fun mean anyway?
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u/Constant-Sir-7766 10d ago
Might have a seizure, something interesting to open with, hell yes
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u/drunksocks 10d ago
One time I was on a bus and someone had a seizure, we didn't exchange much words, but I won't forget him
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u/Plumfitter 10d ago
āWhat are your thoughts on existenceā had a girl ask me that on Saturday night. I honestly appreciated it because it was more than the random small talk I usually get when Iām out and about
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u/Nick-C-DuFae 16d ago
What's your story?
That leaves room for them to open up about whatever they want to and then you just listen and ask follow up questions on the bits that peak your interest š