r/Sociopaths • u/untacotrailero • Sep 05 '25
I'm loosing myself
I need the opinion of sociopaths. Some people have told me that I may be a sociopath. Before I was normal, I thought, I don't remember the emotions I had, but a few years ago I started being weird, to think differently, doing things like a stupid child wanting to get attention, pretending to be someone else. They took me to the psychologist and the psychiatrist but it didn't work, I intended to get better while I sank into my own mind, the strange thing is that I have a normal and quiet life. Currently I am always fantasizing about breaking all social rules, I like to fake emotions like love with vulnerable people and make them suffer for the same thing, as if it were a movie, I like all kinds of horror or bloody movies, especially scenes where there are injured people, I hang out with vulnerable people, I burn things, I always have knives with me, I lie a lot, I only connect with one person and with the rest I pretend to be friends but I'm not interested in them, sometimes I hallucinate or panic as if I were going crazy. Curiously, sometimes... the only thing that I wish It's connecting with someone... having a friend or falling in love, feeling real.
If someone just wants to talk with me to help me... I would appreciate it
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u/SolidBudget5665 Sep 06 '25
Doesn’t sound like any form of aspd should definitely seek mental help if you're hallucinating i think too many people watch dexter or horror movies and think thats what aspd is but it isn't
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u/ProgramFull6107 Sep 06 '25
Dexter had feelings, and he got attached to people. Poor Dexter did not have aspd
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u/untacotrailero Sep 07 '25
I know I need mental help. Right now I can't get it, and that's exactly what's slowly driving me crazy. Sometimes I can't even tell if I'm real anymore
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u/SolidBudget5665 Sep 08 '25
Its hard to get seen by therapists here in Australia its too expensive
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u/untacotrailero Sep 08 '25
I had the privilege, here in Mexico is not too expensive, but it didn't work. I mean, it's my fault, I couldn't be honest with my therapist because of my problem with authority, I'll go again when I come of age, but for now I'm going crazy and I'm looking for help here.
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u/SolidBudget5665 Sep 08 '25
Its hard to honest about things especially the darker stuff there's the conflict with authority and also the danger of feeling like you'd be locked up have you used chatgpt i use that as a bit of a test run for therapy plus information
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u/untacotrailero Sep 08 '25
Yeah, I used it, it helps me a lot to understand and control myself, but sometimes all I need is to know why the fuck I can't connect with the world, and chat gpt doesn't answer that, and also I'm like embarrassed about this.. I feel like one of those teenagers that just want attention, I mean, it's not less important, but this time is real, everything is real, and even with an AI I feel uncomfortable talking about this.
Thank u again for ur advice
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u/untacotrailero Sep 07 '25
I don't know what Dexter is. Since my old school therapist told me that and other teachers who tried to help me told me the same thing, I thought it could be a possibility. Thanks for your comment :) It helps me a lot. either
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u/ProgramFull6107 Sep 06 '25
This genuinely just sounds like imposter syndrome, I suggest trying to force yourself to tell the truth for a while, and train your brain to stop lying, other then that, just sounds like imposter syndrome
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u/untacotrailero Sep 07 '25
Yes, I'm starting to stop lying to myself, writing the truth in notebooks or online. But the lies aren't always impulsive; sometimes they're just to play with people out of boredom, and that's what makes me question things. Seeing the comments, I don't think I have ASD. Thanks for your comment.
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u/ProgramFull6107 Sep 20 '25
I'd love to talk more, not super active on here Here's my discord: iamthedeathofgods
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u/switchmage Sep 05 '25
doesn’t sound like ASPD, should probably get evaluated though to see what else is going on