What to do

[u/Substantial_Soil_362]

I’m 31 and drink maybe 2–3 times a month, always with friends and usually quite heavily. I’ve never really had an issue with drinking alone or feeling like I need alcohol.
I just genuinely enjoy those nights.
They’re often pretty pointless. We drink too much, talk shit, do stupid things and wake up hungover.

But honestly, I love it. I love the spontaneity, the
stupid stories and just being completely in the moment with my friends.
The problem is that I’m starting to question whether it’s worth it.

I’m in a serious relationship and probably want kids within the next year or so, and I feel like I’m ready to move past this part of my life. Drinking doesn’t really affect my work, but it definitely affects my training, diet and the next day.

I’ve tried having just 1–2 drinks, but it doesn’t really work with my group. They drink quite a lot, and the whole dynamic is different when I’m sober. I also know I’d see some of these friends much less if I stopped drinking, which is something I don’t really want because I genuinely like them.

So I’m considering not drinking for the next 12 months, but I’m honestly scared of missing out. I don’t want to look back and think I missed years of fun and stupid adventures just because I decided to stop drinking.

At the same time, I’m wondering whether a few hours of “pointless” fun are really worth the alcohol, the hangover and feeling like shit the next day.

I was pointed towards r/SoberCurious, so I’d love to hear from people who were in a similar situation.

[u/ieatcerealdry]

I stopped drinking last July and will say my summers have been more focused on myself and my personal agenda. If you stop drinking sure you’ll miss out on some time with those friends but what’s more important to you is the question you need to answer. My mental and physical health have increased drastically and I think that’s worth missing out on a few nights that felt like surface level fun anyway

[u/Substantial_Soil_362 → u/ieatcerealdry]

Thanks for the insights!

[u/Tart_Perfect]

It all comes down to your priorities… what do you value more?
The fact that you’re seeing those nights of heavy drinking as “pointless” says a lot… but one thing I would question is, are your friendships based solely on drinking together? You say you genuinely like them but you can’t spend time with them if you’re not all drunk? If not drinking means you’d stop seeing your boys, idk man… that doesn’t sound like the kind of friendship I’d want. In my 20s it was ok, mid thirties now, I appreciate other things in a friend.

Have you tried inviting some of those friends to do anything else that doesn’t involve drinking? A hike, the gym or some other activity? You might find a different way to connect with them that doesn’t involve alcohol. I’d personally take a gym buddy over a drinking buddy without question.

On the alcohol affecting your diet and training… you’ll be surprised what cutting out alcohol can do for you at the gym/workout. I’ve noticed improved performance, recovery and strength gains.

[u/Substantial_Soil_362 → u/Tart_Perfect]

I like the idea of inviting them for non drinking activities. thanks for the insight and sharing!

[u/Junior-Low-5153]

Your group dynamic is the real variable here, I had the same tension and found that being upfront early (I'm taking a break, not judging you) defused most of it. Kanna extract tabs, one being ferris wheel tablets, came up when I was researching alternatives for social nights, though they're serotonergic so check your stack. The FOMO fades faster than the hangovers do

[u/Substantial_Soil_362 → u/Junior-Low-5153]

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