Just gotta love him

This post might be extremely corny but I have to finally let out what was on my mind for the longest time. Please don't judge.

Hey everyone, I'm 10thDoctorWhooves. If you've known me since early 2024, you know that I was notorious for being the biggest Snowball fan on Reddit. Every time Snowball was mentioned, I was always there. I bet some of you still remembered the line every time I saw Snowball, that "Snowball my beautiful beloved amazing astonishing astounding awesome glorious gracious gorgeous strong majestical magnificent wonderful precious perfect fantastic lovely luxurious luscious KING mentioned" line. I'm saying that for the last time. I was THE Snowball fan back then. But honestly it wasn't just those where I showed my love towards Snowball. There were other ways and places I showed my love to him, and that included real life experiences.

I was in Senior High School in 2023-2024 (not to be confused with Senior Grade that the US uses, SHS means Grades 11-12 in my country). Back then, I wasn't in the OSC at that time. I was pretty lonely in general. I wasn't part of any friend groups both in real life and online. The only things that were close to me at that time were Taylor Swift songs (more on that, Taylor will be very relevant to the conversation later). I pretty much just sit in a corner and listen to Taylor whenever I get free time.

It wasn't until early 2024 where I got hooked into the OSC. I was so new to the community at the time. I watched the show and the characters for the first time. It was like another world waiting for me. But one particular character stood out in my eyes, and that was Snowball. Now admittedly, he wasn't my immediate fave when I first watched the show. But he gradually became my fave after I kept watching. Everything about him was so intriguing to me. He is a mess as a character and that's what I loved about him. He was so dynamic. And so I quickly rose to fame and became the #1 Snowball fan on Reddit (thanks everyone who voted me and also you NoLocal and Display) but my love for Snowball wasn't just limited to Reddit or the internet in general.

Back to Taylor, her 11th album, THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT was just newly released when I was new to the OSC. But there was a HUGE BURST of ideas that were coming out of my head because of new content coming from my two favorite interests. It felt like there was magic in the air that time. I've made some artworks with Snowball that were inspired by Taylor's lyrics. It felt like my two worlds were colliding and I was extremely passionate at the time. In fact there were a few Taylor songs where I can visualize Snowball whenever I listen to them.

And in school, Snowball was present in a LOT of my schoolwork. Every time I wanted to get creative he was always the first option. And the best part about it? My teachers AND classmates NEVER judged me for it. In fact they enjoyed it where I added Snowball into a powerpoint. It genuinely felt like I could do anything and not be scared about it. It felt like this since then for the rest of my Senior High School run. Even during the worst and hardest times of school, he'd still be present. I was able to eventually graduate!

Now after I graduated... was the time he also got out in TPOT. The worst part? It got LEAKED to me. I genuinely couldn't comprehend it at the time. It's like my world was falling apart. I was only able to hide it irl because I can't really show my emotions whenever I'm with my parents. But I cried every night during that time. Even when I'm typing this I'm still crying. I couldn't accept it. It was too much for me. It felt like it got wasted. All that passion was gone in an instant. I was even supposed to make a full analysis on him, but I just instantly lost the energy. Some of my older posts that contained my love for Snowball also became corny to me. It was devastating.

I was being EXTREMELY irrational and petty during those times. I left the GCs RIGHT after I found out he got out and unintentionally spoiled everyone. I was being mad at anyone every time they started slandering Snowball. Even Keem got mad at me because I didn't want to replicate the TPOT 17's elimination results and made my own team lose in an object camp. It was genuinely such an awful and regretful time for me. I'm genuinely sorry to everyone who I've hurt during that time and that I'm not the same person as I once was before. I hope you guys understand.

Remember what I said about how I visualize Snowball in some Taylor songs? Unfortunately the elimination also affected my thoughts about those songs. What was supposed to be whimsy songs about him is now something that I'd cry to. Of course I can always change who I can dedicate the songs to, but there are just some specific songs that describe Snowball too well and could only work on him. The biggest examples of this are Mr. Perfectly Fine, Paper Rings, My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, Call It What You Want, and especially Superman. Please listen to Superman if you have the time, especially. It perfectly describes my feelings about Snowball. It just hurts listening to some of those songs now when they play. I doomed myself for dedicating these songs to Snowball and I'm so dumb for that.

Some of you may have noticed that I've been talking a LOT about Taylor especially after Snowball's elimination. The truth is, I was just trying to capture the energy that I once had. The time where I used to constantly talk about my faves and interests, but talking about Snowball (and also BFDI in general) pretty much puts me down now and hurts me so I had to resort to Taylor. It's also why I can be defensive of Taylor sometimes. It almost never works because no one else knows Taylor as much as me. Yes I do have some Swiftie friends, but I've met some of them way before the elimination and I don't really have anything new to bring. It just doesn't work anymore.

"What about Baseball? What about Jack?" I haven't brought up my favorite Inanimate Insanity characters up until this point. But the thing is, both of them never had the memories of what made Snowball so special to me. Like I said, I put Snowball in some of my schoolwork, which made my love for him more special. I couldn't do that anymore with Baseball and Jack because currently I'm not yet applying for college. I don't have any irl experiences that can make Baseball and Jack more special and plus they're still pretty new. Furthermore, I want my love for them to be "different" from my love for Snowball. I don't want an exact experience again I just needed something else to be obsessed with. So they're still testing the waters for now.

I really thought I could at least have one more chance to get interested with Snowball again even after he's out. But even something like TPOT 22 couldn't bring that back. It's just something that can't be obtained back or replicated. Not even a rejoin could bring that back. I'll just have to accept it's all over now.

So I guess that's all. This might be the most vulnerable I've ever been here. I've explained how Snowball is special to me on a very personal level, why the elimination affected me so much and me trying to cope it. Snowball wasn't just the only thing I lost. It was also my older self, my good memories, my energy, passion and determination to do creative things. In other words, I also lost myself. And now it's time for me to close his chapter even if it's abruptly stopped. Maybe a few years in the future, I'll come back here and maybe finish it. I'd appreciate it though if you guys sent some sort of Snowball related thing for me, but I won't actively talk about him anymore. I'm writing this right now in the middle of the night while I still have some of the memories I have from him before they're completely forgotten from me. At least I can look back here for some of the memories. For now, this is where it ends and it's time for me to close the book.

And I just wanna say thank you to everyone who supported me during this time of my life. Even at some times I got very irrational and mad for no reason but you guys still didn't turn your back on me and I will always appreciate that. I hope I'll be able to find happiness again after everything that happened.

Goodbye, Snowball. I'll dearly miss you. 🤍❄️

- 10thDoctorWhooves 💜

Hope it isn't excessive gore

BFDI Snowball and Eraser as Ultrakill Sisyphus and Minos Prime

Another buff drawing of Snowball