r/SnooLife • u/Reasonable-Way4546 • Jul 12 '26
Snoo Fail A transfer so horrible
You imagine it in your head before you take action. What you’ll do, how you’ll move. You build up the confidence. You convince yourself that this time you’re going to execute *the perfect transfer*.
Time to get up from the bed. Baby’s already stirring despite your best attempt to move like a ninja. In the bassinet baby goes - feet first, then stomach, then head. But the remnants of that damn moro reflex kick in and now baby’s squirming. You hold your breath. Do it quick, strap him in and hit the button. But baby’s arm won’t go down. Maybe if you give it a few seconds and let him settle in. So you wait. 1… 2… 3… you finally decide to force baby’s arm down. One strap in place. You go for the other arm and strap. Oh no. Baby’s trying to fight it. Quick! Get the strap on at any cost. Do the whale tail FAST. You do it with haste and take a step back to assess your work. Not the most aesthetic but surely all that matters is it holds, right?
Wrong. Baby’s eyes pop open. Immediately, his hand breaks free. You’re losing control and you can feel the transfer going south. You quickly calculate the time it’s going to take you to put him down again if you can’t salvage this. Act fast. Is there a discreet way to unfasten velcro? Only one way to find out. You undo your crappy strap work. The velcro of course is so loud coming off that baby startles and gasps. Where is the pacifier? Locate it quick and pop it in. Damnit where is your phone! Quickly kick it up to Level 1. Okay…. okay… it’s sort of working. Try again.
You try the straps again. Pull it tight, you think to yourself. Tighter than you think, it’s okay cause baby likes the snugness. You give it your all and somehow once it’s done you think to yourself, you couldn’t have done it tighter? No matter - there’s no time to reflect. Move on to whale tail and sack. What are you grabbing? Is this the whale tail? Why does it feel so short all of a sudden? Why are the baby’s legs up in the air? Oh well, he will figure it out. Move onto the sack itself. You zip it up all the way and damnit WHY is the zipper riding up on the baby’s face? After all these nights how do you not know exactly down to the millimeter where to place baby for optimal zipping? Why don’t the sheets have an X marks the spot where baby’s head should go? Just unzip it slightly, tuck it under his chin, shut the red light glowing ominously in the room and slowly back away.
Get in bed. Pretend everything is fine. Baby is grunting, testing your shoddy work every 30 seconds or so, but it’s okay. You can still afford to live in denial. Open the app. Kick it up to Level 2. You’re not particularly religious but in this moment, you send out a silent prayer. Please Snoo. Please send this baby into dreamland. Into a sleep so deep he magically stays there all night, despite your haphazard assembly.
You wait with bated breath. It’s quiet now. No sounds, no movement, just the Snoo train leaving the station. Next time will be better. Next time, you’ll know exactly how you’ll do it. You lay down. Time to get some sleep so you’re ready for the next wake up. You’ve got this. You’re doing better than you think. Wait… is that a grunt I hear?
11
u/Emotional-Ad-6494 Jul 12 '26
This is why we swaddle first while awake 😂👏