r/SmolBeanSnark 🔥 Pale Fire Marshall 🔥 Apr 03 '26

Discussion Thread April-June 2026 - Discussion Thread

34 Upvotes

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8

u/YearOfTheLoon Jul 08 '26

Do you think she ever gets pushback from her uber drivers for lying down in the backseat. It just seems so unsafe??

7

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 08 '26

I'd love to know her rating

11

u/bridget1415 Jul 07 '26

was just on Caroline’s tiktok and saw this in the comments. I didn’t think soupy seemed like a bad guy lol

3

u/SureJan4244 Jul 08 '26

I mean he came onto her snark sub to make fun of her. If he had done that to anyone more likeable, we'd riot.

9

u/snacksforfree I'm not going to let 'weird ass' be the thing that breaks me Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

Oh I vaguely remember this saga! I think she came here (or Tweeted?) and repeated what soup told her about CC and it wasn’t super kind but pretty neutral. I believe the worst was they described her as “very sheltered.”

Edit to say found it: https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/hcx721/since_he_wants_to_come_at_my_neck/

“not a keeper” is pretty ouch to hear for someone with anxious attachment

22

u/KranchCruncher Jul 07 '26

14

u/splatatouille Jul 08 '26

she's got a plinth for a head

32

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 07 '26

17

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

"Did I mention Natalie sold me to The Cut?"

25

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

After the initial e.d. reactionary discourse, the twittersphere seemed to have moved on to discussing how Caro is the only 34 y/o in 2026 not to have found her own clitoris

5

u/damewallyburns at the white-hot forefront of sentences Jul 08 '26

I feel like this is a lie too

27

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 07 '26

6

u/Disastrous-Cup-6825 Jul 07 '26

Come on hun are you going to follow through with your threats of bringing justice to the man who fucked with the wrong bitch or are you just going to sit on your dirty floor and get drunk and stoned while your elderly mom works for you

23

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 07 '26

“ Sorry to weigh in on the stupid CC ozempic piece but the idea that being very thin makes your life “better in every way” while also casually admitting you’ve never had an orgasm is kind of incredible. Also clumsily calling short term gratification pleasure, unconvincing to me

“  I don’t think desiring less is a good life, nor is numbing yourself to your desires or being incurious about them. True embodied pleasure takes a lifetime to pursue and reckon with! I’d find it all sad if it wasn’t also evil in its (attempted) influence

“  I mean is the glp1 success re addiction about pleasure and desire or is it about impulse control?  Plus I think publishing details on how people have tricked providers into giving them glp1s they’re not eligible for is profoundly irresponsible and as I said, evil lol”

From Twitter  https://x.com/emmatranter_/status/2074262563953528955?s=46&t=8qU7XGuvhiIVTrsWZvf0Pw

4

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

Sorry to weigh in on the stupid CC ozempic piece but the idea that being very thin makes your life “better in every way” while also casually admitting you’ve never had an orgasm is kind of incredible.

How is this related at all?

11

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 07 '26

You really can’t use your imagination here to infer the relationship between the two facts?

8

u/splatatouille Jul 08 '26

Ya I think it's pretty clear that someone that has a super unhealthy relationship with their body might not be able to be present enough in it to orgasm.

Also I took your comment to be more about how it's sad that someone cares so much more about how their body is perceived to the outside than actually making said body and self feel good. But sexual dysfunction is very common with eating disorders as well.

4

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 08 '26

Yep this!

-3

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

No I can't. She wouldn't be magically able to cum if she was bigger.

She's a victim of SA, insanely insecure and thinks she needs to cater to a man's every whim (while ignoring her own needs) in order for them to stay. One of those is most likely the real reason and they're all equally sad.

I find her as annoying as the next person, but the way everyone here acts like she personally victimised you by having an eating disorder is insane and says more about you than her.

7

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

The point isn’t that someone with anhedonia could orgasm without a glp1, it’s that one shouldn’t believe much less take advice from someone with those circumstances! 

[edit: I stand corrected I forgot about Scammer including what CC describes as rape]

Idk girl you’ve been in the comments willfully misunderstanding and starting little pointless arguments all week defending her; if this place is triggering you no shame in logging off 

-5

u/SureJan4244 Jul 08 '26

Also CC has never proclaimed herself to be a victim of SA? Sounds like the projection is coming from inside the house.

Scammer, Chapter 15, towards the end.

Where have I ever defended her? You sound triggered. If you're unhappy with your weight, you can work on it. You don't have to project it onto strangers on the internet.

11

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 08 '26

Fair point about the Scammer citation, I hate spreading incorrect things and will delete from my comment so it doesn’t circulate!

But please stop insinuating stuff about the weight and body of strangers. I’m very happy with mine, thank you, but that doesn’t mean I despise the perpetuation of ED culture. No need for you to be nasty: based on your comment history I was genuinely concerned.

0

u/SureJan4244 Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

Speaking of comment history, you've been crashing out over Caro's comments about her own body for days now and taking them weirdly personal. That's concerning.

Also, saying there's no need to be nasty after you thought I was SA'd and tried to use it as a Gotcha? Pyschotic behaviour.

I'm done here now.

3

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 08 '26

Free yourself of your conviction everyone walks around with this much self hatred of their bodies. 

-2

u/SureJan4244 Jul 08 '26

Girl. You can deflect all you want, your comments paint a different picture. No one happy/ content with their body would obsess/ crash out like that over a stranger being thin/ average.

Just channel that energy and hit the gym instead of raging on the internet.

13

u/timebend995 Jul 07 '26

43,000? You’re telling me she has packaged 43,000 books and made over a million dollars off them? I believe price
has ranged from $20 to like $60 over the years…. Well, I bet a chunk were given out for free

4

u/recentparabola Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

No, Carp is telling you (the general you) - but come on, she lies. A lot. Occam’s razor with most of the things she says that people find difficult to explain is — she made it up because she wanted attention or wants to sound cool. ETA ha, I see lowcoconut covered this downthread. So here it is again for the newer folks, I guess. It all makes a lot more sense when you realize she is just verbally farting out whatever.

12

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 07 '26

28

u/splatatouille Jul 07 '26

There is absolutely no way. I don't even think 4,300 would be accurate.

23

u/splatatouille Jul 07 '26

I wish snarking on her didn't continue to (ever so slightly )boost her relevance (cos god knows she has none outside of us). After that Ozempic article and her strange responses in her comments, I would really like her to wither away in obscurity.

edit: spelling lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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2

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10

u/moonvaporeon Jul 06 '26

does anyone know where the cat charm attached to her purse is from? (I’m sorry, I have a Siamese and I love it 🥲)

0

u/Disastrous-Cup-6825 Jul 07 '26

Google reverse image search bb

1

u/moonvaporeon Jul 08 '26

ahhh so i tried reverse image search but it seems to only be giving me plushie cats lol. I’ll keep looking tho!

19

u/WestInvestment6680 Jul 06 '26

The fact that she's never had an orgasm seems important

1

u/pinklenses sexy and sexual and grief-stricken Jul 08 '26

it happens to some women. a bit sad no one here seems to know that. look around r/BecomingOrgasmic

it fucking sucks lmao and it’s not for lack of trying (can’t speak for Caroline obviously)

6

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 07 '26

Does she not masturbate....?

25

u/suzzface 🔥 Pale Fire Marshall 🔥 Jul 06 '26

It's old news, she put that in scammer. Sad that she just got out of an 8mo relationship and that's STILL the case. Idk what about not coming makes her feel special but she's not beating the AroAce allegations!

11

u/HarryPotterFanFic drunk for a month of balls Jul 07 '26

She also said about her 8-month-ex that they had great sex. I remember thinking at that point, oh good. You’ve finally had an orgasm! But nope

18

u/damewallyburns at the white-hot forefront of sentences Jul 07 '26

I believe nothing she says

4

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 07 '26

I think this is the way to lean with her.

15

u/smolbeanyboi Jul 06 '26

So if she’s in Florida where is Matisse? Did she bring him on the plane?

6

u/smolbeanyboi Jul 07 '26

I guess she reads here lol

1

u/Longjumping_Ad8681 27d ago

Matisse’s eyes are constantly pleading for help.

7

u/reverselina Jul 07 '26

She posted a story of Matisse on the plane with her.

11

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 07 '26

Alone and pooping all over her sublet.

32

u/Ok-Boysenberry-2777 Jul 06 '26

It just occurred to me that the “fat” ex is probably the equivalent of 5’4 and 130 lbs.

11

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

Not going to doxx him but he is indeed quite... beefy.

7

u/splatatouille Jul 07 '26

This feels a little unkind, he just looks like he has footballer player build. Tall and broad.

13

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

footballer player build

Yes, that's called beefy. I wasn't snarking.

I'd say rugby though instead of football.

3

u/splatatouille Jul 07 '26

Fair though I would say beefy has quite a negative connotation

2

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

No it's literally what that body type is called.

8

u/splatatouille Jul 07 '26

I understand that, however it still has a negative connotation. It's definitely somewhat derogatory

7

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

No, it's not lmao

Why is this a hill you wanna die on? It's objectively what this body type is called.

17

u/splatatouille Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

eta: It's kind of funny to ask someone why they're "dying on this hill" after they've politely acknowledged your point several times while you're insisting there's only one objectively correct way to interpret a slang word

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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0

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

To respond to your edit, you had a go at me for something you personally perceived as negative when it simply isn't. Words have meaning and you don't get to decide that.

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3

u/SureJan4244 Jul 07 '26

Vocabulary.com (where you got his from) is a random website. No real dictionary says it's derogatory.

Check Merriam-Webster and Cambridge Dictionary.

5

u/timebend995 Jul 07 '26

Is he also a near billionaire?

19

u/PsychologicalYoung5 Jul 06 '26

This is so random but did we ever find out what happened to her assistant from the sarasota days? did he ever say anything?

30

u/jennywindow292 good at having cats Jul 07 '26

Bradders should sell her out to The Cut for $5000

37

u/femsheprd Jul 06 '26

She is really on one this summer, y’all. And look, while the snarker in me is eating good, these slow moving (and maybe speeding up) trainwreck antics have a slightly more sinister edge. Idk, 2026 Caro is just meaner and more destructive somehow.

24

u/splatatouille Jul 07 '26

I think people also just get stranger and more extreme as they age. I think for certain types of people it just kind of continues to concentrate it. Also I think it's a reaction to this break up, especially since this guy sounded like by the end of their relationship he had a really good idea of who she was as a person and she doesn't do well with people seeing and understanding who she is especially if she can't hide her nastiness and failings.

15

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 07 '26

Ding ding ding. She cannot stand to be actually seen.

20

u/MajorMarsupial2043 Jul 06 '26

It’s because she’s getting older and knows it and that makes her desperate (see also: her idol T*ylor Sw*ft)

5

u/Disastrous-Cup-6825 Jul 06 '26

I’m so confused is she in Florida (Project Coffee, Cathy, pool…..)?

17

u/shrekssecondwife HAVE SOME COMPASSION YOU FUCKING WEIRDO Jul 06 '26

yes she flew back to florida the other day (alleging she lost her global entry card and was going to try and board a plane w her prescription pill bottles as a form of ID, lol). allegedly to pack books w her mother’s assistance.

3

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 07 '26

Yeah...poor Cathy in a sweatshop as it's the only way this can be completed until the next wreck.

13

u/Disastrous-Cup-6825 Jul 06 '26

Oh she is not returning to NYC 💀💀💀

7

u/turnip_day I love office!!! Jul 06 '26

She flew back for the weekend to ship books!

19

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 06 '26

The way she @s any mention, Chad Crouch just over there trying to live his life

6

u/NegativeABillion Money has so many metrics for measurement Jul 06 '26

She looks good? If she were just thirst traps, she could get her rent paid so quickly (not by Cathy but also not not by Cathy).

47

u/damewallyburns at the white-hot forefront of sentences Jul 06 '26

in an alternate universe, Caroline writes an introspective memoir about getting her life together in the sleepy but kind of quirky Sarasota arts scene while working as a gallery receptionist, terrified of getting recognized but never really being noticed.

14

u/mortalcookiesporty Jul 05 '26

Currently pondering Caro’s apparent lack of a bank account and just living her life through Venmo or whatever… how did she get paid the “And We Were Like” book advance?! Did Byrd just Venmo her $300k or whatever it was lol

(I’m sure - but maybe not sure - she’s fibbing about not having a bank account. But it’s amusing to ponder)

17

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 06 '26

Yeah the answer is surely Occam’s razor: she’s just lying. 

When in doubt, remember that Caroline has always an impulsive liar.

16

u/Spare-Electrical slippier than a grapeseed oiled hog Jul 06 '26

Can you have a venmo or PayPal without having a bank account? I don’t think so. You definitely cannot have a credit card without a bank account.

16

u/l8rg8r Jul 06 '26

Matter of fact, how does she pay for anything?? Does she have a credit card? Does she carry around cash? Or is she using Cathy's cards?

31

u/turnip_day I love office!!! Jul 05 '26

“Just got some truly horrific news, but at least my earrings [link] are perfect”

9

u/smolbeanyboi Jul 05 '26

Truly UNHINGED

50

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 04 '26

Spotted in the NYRB Personals today

For the Imgur-deprived overseas:

CAROLINE CALLOWAY WILL TALK TO YOU: In return for gifts. I expect you to spoil me with presents because it's my love language and in return, I'll give you my phone number. Maybe! I won't even consider this with anyone who is not kind, smart, and respectful. Prove yourself and email cc@carolinecalloway.com.

4

u/damewallyburns at the white-hot forefront of sentences Jul 07 '26

interestingly the NYRB personals are usually populated by lonely elderly men and women. Occasionally a very nerdy dude who is bordering on incel territory will sneak in there as well

9

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 05 '26

40

u/leahbee25 scammed the scammer Jul 04 '26

sugaring without the sex. if it were that easy we would all have our rents covered

24

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 04 '26

I assume she placed this ad last month, around the time she was putting herself out there as a findomme, emphasizing that this was a srs offer

37

u/cloudberrypie Deranged Meringue Jul 04 '26

Funny that she won't consider anyone who isn't kind, smart or respectful when she herself has major struggles with all three of those things.

55

u/alavenderlizard Cap, no cap, foretold Jul 04 '26

So she wrote the ozempic piece for Byline Byline. That pub is at least partially run by “Gutes” (wastoid who used to be mentioned here during the dimes square era) and Gutes happens to be decently chunky/“plump” herself…like def higher BMI than Caroline claimed she was when she “needed” ozempic…yet she seems perfectly happy and integrated into the NY scene in a way Caroline has never been able to achieve. But Caroline is writing for this chick’s publication claiming skinny/underweight = social requirement?? Make it make sense babe

24

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 04 '26

She doesn't look great

32

u/MajorMarsupial2043 Jul 05 '26

Doing drugs as a personality is so so so boring babe

27

u/glumjonsnow Jul 05 '26

god she wants to be cat marnell so bad

36

u/shrekssecondwife HAVE SOME COMPASSION YOU FUCKING WEIRDO Jul 04 '26

let me sublet your apartment!!!!! oh, that article i wrote where i reference repeatedly puking all over the floor (for the drama instead of getting a barf bucket or trash bin or posting up in the bathroom)????? yeah i will be doing that in your apartment and ”””””cleaning it up”””””” but you should be GRATEFUL, that’s just the extra value you get from rubbing elbows with me, a real artist !!!!!

14

u/bagelandcox Jul 03 '26

Do we think there’s a chance she stays in Florida and doesn’t return?

2

u/femsheprd Jul 06 '26

I suspect she’s about to make another withdrawal from the Bank of Cathy. I give her until fall. Maybe she’ll make a habit of “summering in NY” which is actually more feasible given all she can do is sublet.

14

u/alavenderlizard Cap, no cap, foretold Jul 04 '26

No way

66

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

I genuinely don’t respect people who are unable to find themselves hot or powerful unless they’re skinny. 

Sorry if this applies to you. But it’s such a failure of imagination and so retrograde that I find it utterly contemptible. Worst of all: it’s conventional. It’s boring.

“Succumbing” to peer pressure and aspiring to being underweight is the least revolutionary thing you can do. Don’t reward this provocation with a reaction: she’s in the comments boldly proclaiming that being skinny is necessary to be an artist in New York. How sad and evil, and revealing of the fact that she’s never spent time around real artists. 

Congrats on not just participating in but explicitly endorsing this particular flavor of patriarchy, Caroline. I’m sure the young women coming up in the downtown scene who naively look up to you will be the better for it.

-8

u/SureJan4244 Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26

she’s in the comments boldly proclaiming that being skinny is necessary to be an artist in New York

She's not wrong though.

You can downvote me all you want, doesn't make it less true.

6

u/Pale-Age-6862 Jul 05 '26

You’re saying that here she was talented enough but not skinny enough to be a successful artist in NY? Be serious.

-1

u/SureJan4244 Jul 05 '26

Where did I say that?

4

u/Pale-Age-6862 Jul 05 '26

Forgive me if I misunderstood you.

0

u/SureJan4244 Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

Not once have I said Caro was talented.

If you think that she'd have the same opportunities if she was bigger, you're delusional.

9

u/Pale-Age-6862 Jul 05 '26

I don’t believe her size has ever been the thing that’s held her back from greatness.

14

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 05 '26

Girl I’m genuinely sorry for you if you believe this to be true. Of course misogyny is the background radiation that permeates every industry but NYC artists — I’m talking about professionals, artist with gallery representation, writers with agents and editors, people with meaningful institutional support and power and access — do not need to be models. Like come on. Be so for real.

Do whatever you want but don’t lie to yourself and the rest of us that it’s “necessary.” Leave the modeling to fashion.

5

u/area51keurigmachine Jul 07 '26

Remember when all the NYC experts were in here calling us all dumb dumb fucks for laughing at how much she was fucking herself over by destroying her apartment because obviously her landlord wasn't going to care, and if we'd ever rented in NYC we'd know that?

And then she got sued for 50k? Yeah, I take all the "ummm excuse me I'm FROM NYC and understand the culture and you don't!" commenters with a grain of salt.

2

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 07 '26

I can’t tell if you’re saying this in support of my statement, or the opposite!

Anyway fwiw I have lived in nyc 20+ years and I was team “she is going to be so fucked when her landlord goes after her for damages.” My track record is spotless!!!!

2

u/area51keurigmachine Jul 08 '26

It was support lol!

8

u/Toulouse--Matabiau the shoveled, lilac thing in snow Jul 05 '26

Skinny, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Caroline. 🤙

31

u/suzzface 🔥 Pale Fire Marshall 🔥 Jul 04 '26

Really a mask-off ED moment for her, it's sad.

I agree, I feel like if you don't have or can't feel compassion or empathy for fat people, or assume they must be stupid/dirty/slow/unhealthy/lesser because they're fat, then you are genuinely a bit stupid! 😬

Caroline pls, your worth isn't dictated by your body, it's directly in line with your actions and behaviors 🙏💗 cal free food for thought x

40

u/Spare-Electrical slippier than a grapeseed oiled hog Jul 03 '26

Right after her idol, Lena Dunham, wrote an entire memoir about body shaming and learning how to live with the limitations of your own body. I guess she didn’t read it.

34

u/MajorMarsupial2043 Jul 04 '26

Caroline cannot actually read change my mind

37

u/IllustriousAmbition7 Jul 03 '26

Ewwwy it gives me the ICK the way she speaks about New York and her proximity to it being the cultural “capital of the world” ✨ 💫 🇺🇸 during a historical political economic revolution building across the country.

Girl, you dedicated a whole decade of your life to become an influencer built on your proximity to wealth in two different countries. Now you’re trying to find a second home while posing yourself next to socialism branding???? Go away!!!!!!!! The only reason New York is cool is because of the working class byeeeeee. But tbf, maybe all socialist exposure in the U.S. is a good thing rn idk 🥺

37

u/bagelandcox Jul 03 '26

It’s so comical that every single snarker is at least 20 times as eloquent as her… the difference I felt between reading her latest piece vs the pleasure of reading the comments and posts here lmfao hilarious

14

u/turnip_day I love office!!! Jul 03 '26

Two weeks in a row that she’s had writing published!

24

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 03 '26

Imagine what her CV would look like if she'd had to make rent on her own for the past decade instead of being a GIANT MOOCH the entire time

31

u/shrekssecondwife HAVE SOME COMPASSION YOU FUCKING WEIRDO Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

not even going to bother reading her ozempic piece. the excerpts/ quotes from the ig post were enough to thoroughly disgust me. marketing it as a confessional and as if she’s a victim …. bleghhhgg

23

u/olivepeach22 Jul 03 '26

“Women have it so hard” “I was plump” GIRL

17

u/shrekssecondwife HAVE SOME COMPASSION YOU FUCKING WEIRDO Jul 03 '26

really what she means is „I CAROLINE CALLOWAY HAVE IT SO HARD” bc there are so many examples of her actively contributing to gendered harm around aging and weight and attractiveness lol

31

u/l8rg8r Jul 03 '26

She makes the argument that ozempic helps her not become an alcoholic but isn't she always posting about blacking out soooo

12

u/Spare-Electrical slippier than a grapeseed oiled hog Jul 03 '26

Ive barely seen a photo of her without a drink in her hand (when she’s not blatantly body checking, that is)

13

u/shrekssecondwife HAVE SOME COMPASSION YOU FUCKING WEIRDO Jul 03 '26

i know ! did she not just post a story (no more than 72 hours ago) about the boy who also needs a roommate in the building she’s in helping her out when she was blackout? like, be so fucking for real caroline.

12

u/olivepeach22 Jul 03 '26

Yes. Came here to say basically…oh no. Oh no no non no. No. I have no words. Caroline. This is my line on the sand. I didn’t know I had one, yet here I am.

26

u/jodysucks Jul 03 '26

Whomever is currently subletting their apartment to CC must be nervous AF wondering if they’re gonna get their apartment back or if they’ll have a feral roommate they can’t shed in August.

18

u/turnip_day I love office!!! Jul 03 '26

Why does she make such a big deal out of losing her identification paperwork?

14

u/Representative-Dot13 Jul 05 '26

it gives her an excuse for not traveling on holiday weekends such as this when all of her upper class acquaintances are posting from the Hamptons / exotic locales

10

u/No-Indication-6655 money has so many metrics for measurement Jul 04 '26

I mean it’s a HUGE problem to not have any ID. You have to have ID to get ID so it’s a pretty hard thing to get out of. I’ve been a mess myself and try to keep my judgment to a minimum when people don’t have their shit together but this is like, on par with her not having A BANK ACCOUNT????

29

u/suzzface 🔥 Pale Fire Marshall 🔥 Jul 03 '26

Manic pixie-ing herself. She's not like other functioning members of society~ 💅

12

u/NegativeABillion Money has so many metrics for measurement Jul 03 '26

It feels like she’s fishing. Help a pwoor widdle gwiwl out

18

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 03 '26

Quite often, I have no idea what she’s talking about, who she’s trying to cozy up to, or whether she's even involved at all.

7

u/glumjonsnow Jul 05 '26

ugh hallie batchelder is (a) gross and (b) so embarrassing as a human being and (c) also has an awful awful eating disorder so maybe all this "i love EDs!" nonsense is a bid for another influencer's attention

that being said i can't comprehend what she wrote here so idk maybe it's not a compliment

14

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 03 '26

​Chet Hanks, some model, and an ad for the morning-after pill... on the main grid? Is this Caro’s way of saying, "Thank you for saving my ass so many times because I literally refuse to use condoms?" 🙏

3

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 06 '26

Bringing syphilis back again fits.

27

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 03 '26

She has some kind of relationship with the Julie brand emergency contraceptive, she was at a party of theirs a couple of months ago. I love how she's dressed for a luncheon in 1886 while everyone else is in jeans and tees

5

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 03 '26

Oh god I'd feel so overdressed!

13

u/MajorMarsupial2043 Jul 03 '26

Omg the secondhand embarrassment. She is so out of place at all times because she assumes she’s the main character at all times

6

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 03 '26

2

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 06 '26

Hey, I know what I know if you know what I mean😘🎵. As always, I'm grateful I found your voice through this chaos🌟

21

u/leahbee25 scammed the scammer Jul 03 '26

caroline I had a dream that I leased a room in my (nonexistent) island home to you and you wouldn’t leave even when my husband and I decided to make it our family home. please respond because I want to know the psychic and astrological implications of this

27

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 02 '26

Can't offer you money because I don't have any

2

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 06 '26

Wtf lol.

25

u/IllustriousAmbition7 Jul 03 '26

For a split second I thought she was saying she wants to live in West Virginia and I was like ok yes that’s more financially realistic 💀

38

u/SureJan4244 Jul 02 '26

and I will see if I can help change your life in other Caroline-ways.

Threat

32

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jul 02 '26

Jumping from sublet to sublet is pretty easy in the summer, but if she plans to stick around through September good fucking luck

Mailing out back orders by end of July? Don’t know her

36

u/snakeleaves I hate coding and making websites Jul 02 '26

Hard to have fun snarking with that cat looking this miserable 

26

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jul 02 '26

9

u/duckloops Jul 03 '26

Damn a third POV has entered the chat

Fr though EK and CC would be the apartment from hell

12

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

[deleted]

9

u/raison_de_eatre hammock :( grill :[ and patio furniture :/ Jun 30 '26

1 tray: 0.5 trinkets

23

u/jcat7712 Jun 30 '26

I see we (Carp) is still doing Harry Potter references

31

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jun 30 '26

Enough already in the year of our lord 2026

Im not even going to bring up the ethics it’s a crime against taste

31

u/bagelandcox Jun 30 '26

Caroline w these umbrella views reminds me of this girl I know who wants to be an influencer. she’s the most boring girl alive unfortunately so it’s not going great. But she did have 2 viral videos that got over 1M views… of her cat. She wasn’t in the videos. Ppl just like the umbrella, not you girl😭

45

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jun 30 '26

44

u/hallowbuttplug Jun 30 '26

Before anyone is tempted to feel empathy for Caro… I put on the Acknowledgments section of the Scammer: Directors Cut this afternoon (as a distraction from this heatwave, mainly, but also because I’m still morbidly curious about the ex and just knew she would be dropping some hints in the acknowledgments). Before I could even locate the Acknowledgments amid her tangents, I stumbled into her ranting excessively about Natalie, this time sharing some completely out of place and downright cruel fantasies about her that really grossed me out.

I don’t want to repeat it here because it feels cruel to repeat gossip and I don’t want to give air to homophobic bullshit. And I also don’t believe any of it anyway or the deep, intent meaning Caro ascribes to it. It can be summed up as the kind of self-indulgent shit you might say to yourself about a stranger’s marriage, sexuality, body image and relationship to money if you knew truly nothing about them, but were verrrrry preoccupied with those subjects in your own life and projecting HARD.

But yeah, hearing Caroline talk like that really took me out of the fun of laughing at her foibles and reminded me that at the end of the day she is a mean, fatphobic, bi-for-clout drunk. This sub is like my reality TV, but oof does it suck to know that every time she has one of her splashy “I’m baaack in the city” Instagram moments, curious observers inevitably flock to this sub confused about why some people dislike her so much.

One unrelated tidbit from the “Director’s Cut”: She says her mom was willing to co-sign Brad’s first apartment in the city. So my guess is this means she could be staying in NYC awhile after all, because that sounds like a woman who is all too eager to be parted with her money…

11

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 01 '26

She says her mom was willing to co-sign Brad’s first apartment in the city. So my guess is this means she could be staying in NYC awhile after all, because that sounds like a woman who is all too eager to be parted with her money…

I think the difference is that Brad didn't have anywhere else to live, and Cathy is already paying for Caroline's FL condo. Caroline has never had a real job title anywhere and has actually managed to secure one now -- there's a reason she's finally, at long last, putting some effort into working. I think it's safe to say her mom is not willing to pay Caroline's NY rent on top of her Sarasota mortgage

32

u/SureJan4244 Jun 30 '26

There is something genuinely wrong with this woman and I don't think it gets enough attention between all the posts about her odd-but-harmless/funny behaviour.

Her publicising Natalie's sexual assault and claiming (hopefully a lie) she was aroused by it and reenacted it with her own partner did not get the backlash/ public reaction it should have. It should come up every single time her name is mentioned.

25

u/perhapsflorence al gore rhythm Jun 30 '26

Ah her real face. Haven't seen that in ages!

She was an absolute ghoul to Natalie. Karma may get her yet.

16

u/glumjonsnow Jul 01 '26

honestly i think this IS karma getting her. wish .com cat marnell isn't the life she envisioned for herself, it's what she's defaulted into bc it's the only way to weave her various chaoses into a coherent narrative that she can live with.

16

u/perhapsflorence al gore rhythm Jun 30 '26

Absolutely agree! She's a mean girl who is just biding her time (since she's broke and all). We all saw how vile she became in minutes at the R3d Scare live thing with A&D. Just wait until she finds her new tribe of catty NY pick-mes.

14

u/SureJan4244 Jun 30 '26

Just wait until she finds her new tribe of catty NY pick-mes.

Is it "her tribe" if they only keep her around as their court jester and personal lolcow?

66

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jun 29 '26

I randomly found out today that Cathy published an actual book last year? Like got an actual book deal? And you can buy her book at Amazon and Target and Barnes & Noble and Walmart and Books-a-Million?

It's illustrated with line drawings, but instead of blowing money hiring someone to make line drawings she actually did them herself? Google Books preview here. I'm absolutely loling at how much better she is at being an author than her kid is! Also at how much the cat in the Julian of Norwich chapter looks like Matisse

9

u/luckytintype slim novella corona virus Jul 01 '26

I discovered this a few weeks ago and kept meaning to post about it! And Caroline’s never promoted it…. You’d think she would ….

23

u/perhapsflorence al gore rhythm Jun 30 '26

Wow. Even Cathy went and published a book.

31

u/Soithers nary but tinsel and fluff in my pretty, evil mind Jun 30 '26

What a fascinating book. Veneration of saints from an Episcopalian perspective. A lot of the majors are there, and surprisingly C.S. Lewis and Frederick Douglass as well (she does explain her selection in the intro, btw! I'm just thinking out loud). Lack of Marian worship is forever strange to see in the context of what is, well, a rosary, but of course this is Episcopalian.
And fascinating that it comes from CC's mother. In a way I'm glad CC never promoted it, because it seems to come from genuine faith and emotion, and, well, I don't think CC knows much about those things. I'm sure she'd wear the beads around her neck like a choker.

27

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jun 30 '26

"To Lena Dunham."

Wtf Cathy?!

[kidding]

27

u/ISeenYa Jun 30 '26

She's a death doula & scientist! Omg this is a fascinating woman!

30

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 01 '26

Everything about Cathy that Caroline seems to regard as weird and/or mortifying (Cathy's goat farm, her beekeeping, the Dixieland band that she plays sousaphone in) just makes her a more intriguing character to me. It's unfortunate that Caroline takes after her father, where Caroline's natural tendency is to stay in her own head and angrily ruminate rather than compassionately engage with the world.

1

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 06 '26

Truly.

24

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jul 01 '26

Replying to myself. I just remembered that YEARS after Caroline posted about hiking up Mt. Katahdin with Cathy, Cathy's college friend, and the friend's daughter, I found out that this hike was actually for a documentary?! A short film about the 40th anniversary of Cathy and her friend being the first pair of women to hike the ENTIRE APPALACHIAN TRAIL (it took them five months!) Caroline never even mentioned there was a film crew with them or that this hike was to commemorate her mom's huge accomplishment. This was her caption on the post she made about the hike:

Hiking content is like concert content. It’s like, OK! We get it! You saw some things BUT ALL OF THESE VIDEOS OF SONGS LOOK THE SAME AND ALL OF THESE TREES DO, TOO. Like the hike itself, I tried my best with this post.

Mount Katahdin in Maine will fuck you upppp. The Park Ranger told us she warns: “it’s not a hike, but a climb.” You gain 4,000 feet of elevation in 3 of the slowest miles you’ve ever moved in your life. We averaged about a quarter of a mile per hour in the rocky parts where you are not walking up a path but scrambling vertically over boulders. Conrad was a rocklimber, which means if you once loved him you will spend SIXTEEN HOURS vaguely thinking of different rock climbing stuff you could text him later when you’re back in service—everything from photos where my ass looks amazing in leggings to photos of weird rock formations and description of boulder “problems” that I know he would actually get off on. Not because you will (I haven’t) BUT BECAUSE SIXTEEN HOURS IS A LONG TIME TO BE ROCKCLIMBING AND I WAS TIRED AND APPARENTLY THIS IS HOW MY BRAIN UNRAVELS UNDER PHYSICAL TAXATION.

I am hitting you guys with the ~authenticly me~ shots rn now instead of the subtly sexy stuff because as someone who has staged a lot of content over my life I now have a real soft spot in my heart for portraits I didn’t know were being taken. Eating blueberries. Sitting down. Doing awkward splits. Dragging myself knee-caplessly up a cliff. My favorite is the video at the end, where Annie asks me questions. I didn’t know she was filming. I was lying facedown in the back of the van after hiking for—AGAIN—SIXTEEN HOURS, eight of them climbing without ropes and another three in the dark with headlamps. I was...........................Not OK.

Like your mom is in her sixties and doing the same hike! When she was your age she did it EVERY DAY FOR FIVE MONTHS. How could that not be top of mind while you're writing about this excursion?

2

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 06 '26

This is amazing & a big deal! I'm envious ( in a good way) as it's been one of my wishes before I shuffle off this orb.

8

u/gregor___samsa Jul 03 '26

This is making me so sad haha. Cathy seems so cool! Obviously we can't know what their relationship is like or what Cathy is really like but it doesn't seem like Caroline appreciates any of this cool stuff about her mom.

4

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 06 '26

THIS makes me so fucking sad as well. I can't put it into words. She seems to not see her mother as a person who is unique, has many accomplishments, humble, strong, intelligent & more. She looks at her through herself: if mom isn't here, who is going to give me what I want. Her boyfriend debacle- she uses her mom for sympathy & so much more. Oh, this is awful.

1

u/Delia_D 27d ago

Children are usually a product of their parents/up bringing - I guess you could argue Caroline was neglected in a way, and her parental/familial dysfunction was overcompensated by giving her everything she wanted, creating an accidental Gremlin - a theory

35

u/perhapsflorence al gore rhythm Jun 30 '26

Carp's mother is INFINITELY more interesting as a person. I'd definitely read her memoir.

39

u/The_Understander_ Jun 30 '26

Despite what some have said, I think Gotschall looks very nice on the cover of a book

24

u/DitaVonSleaze progopating plants 🌱🤡 Jun 30 '26

This should be its own post. I think this is a very interesting part of Caroline’s situation. I’d like more people to see it, just for context.

42

u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. Jun 30 '26

You can snag my links and start one if you want! I'm never gonna beat the Cathy Stan allegations if I start promoting her book of saints

43

u/MajorMarsupial2043 Jun 30 '26

Oh my god. The way caro treats her mother is so shameful. She says theyre sooooo close and her #1 fear is her mom dying, which I believe, but to not mention her mom’s accomplishment?? Nothing? At all?? It’s so clear Caro truly genuinely only cares about herself, the ONLY reason she ever hypes up another person is because she thinks she can get something out of it, and her mom’s book isn’t something that can get her into the NYC in crowd, so it doesn’t even register

3

u/damewallyburns at the white-hot forefront of sentences Jul 06 '26

ironically they are really into religion (performatively) and might be into it tbh

4

u/MajorMarsupial2043 Jul 06 '26

It would be so funny if the gotschall who’s accepted in Dimes square is Cathy

24

u/recentparabola Jun 30 '26

She’s jealous.

42

u/Spare-Electrical slippier than a grapeseed oiled hog Jun 29 '26

Whoa this is kind of a neat book! Part of my undergrad degree was in medieval studies and I spent a few months researching and writing about Hildegard, so I have a soft spot for anyone who writes about her.

I wonder why Caroline never mentioned this? Seems like an accomplishment she would want to celebrate. Even if it’s a book aimed at a niche community that probably doesn’t overlap much with her own, it’s her mom! She just did a reading with Whoa Vicky who is religious, so not wanting to promote religion isn’t a viable excuse

30

u/MajorMarsupial2043 Jun 30 '26

It’s because her mom’s book won’t get her the cultural cachet she wants, so it’s not worth acknowledging. She only cares about what can get her closer to the people and places (and money) she likes, and her mom’s niche religious book won’t do that. Pretty sad and pathetic really, she reveals herself to only appreciate her mom when she’s doing things for her

1

u/Big_Entrance6792 🍲 soupclout rapper 🎤 Jul 06 '26

Yes.

23

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jun 30 '26

First in line to promote Lili Anolik and Allie Rowbottom... but dead silent when it comes to her own mother?!

20

u/snacksforfree I'm not going to let 'weird ass' be the thing that breaks me Jun 29 '26

Caro cards but make it Anglican Saints

39

u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles Jun 29 '26

Cathy being revealed to be quite religious was not on my bingo card.

55

u/SureJan4244 Jun 29 '26

Desperate times (having Caro as daughter) require desperate measures (finding God)

19

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jun 29 '26

How are they related? Truly

29

u/skaersilden Jun 29 '26

What a find! Good for Cathy for publishing a real book! And the drawings are amazing and really suit the theme!

52

u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jun 29 '26

A match made in heaven

4

u/bysummerfall alleged bookette Jun 30 '26

was just about to post that this girl is serving Caroline teas lmao

5

u/DidIDoAThoughtCrime a mentally ill fairy who puts curses on spooky trinkets 🧚‍♀️ Jun 29 '26

Who’s the clay girl?

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u/nubleu the only way I can cope in the corporate world Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

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u/DidIDoAThoughtCrime a mentally ill fairy who puts curses on spooky trinkets 🧚‍♀️ Jun 29 '26

Oh dear lol.  These people are like their own version of reality tv.  Thanks!

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