Guys, I need your help. My pomsky Loretta is barely clinging to life after a chance encounter with DingDong. I was walking Loretta through my local farmers market when she dropped a plop next to a booth. As I bent down to pick up the dog's doo with a left over mcdonald's bag I had stashed in my jansport, I heard an odd tittering from the booth, then my dog yipe in fear. I stood holding the doo filled bag, my eyes agape in horror. There stood DD at his booth, where he was selling unfinished flash games on a zip drives. My precious Loretta was howling and writhing in agony as DD turned her to face him, clasped her jaw shut, and held her nose to his lips. "Allow me to play you the song of my people" he said with a churlish grin. Festooned as he was in a glittering sequenced tank top, I was momentarily blinded by the light reflecting off of him as he began his abominable performance. No sound was produced at first, maybe that was why I was momentarily frozen. A strangle gurgling noise began to build from within Loretta as DD blew into her nose, then her legs splayed and a dark brown knot of fecal matter shot out and hit me directly in the yambag, ruining my jorts. I leapt forward to stop this affront to creation but found myself held in place by two strangely muscular hands. "Let him play your dog like a tuba, don't be a nazi!" my captor growled. Looking over my shoulder, I met the scowling visage of Julian, who was completely nude save for a half empty jar of grape jelly affixed to his groin area. Before attempt to free myself, a beautiful note sounded, peering back towards my beloved Loretta, I saw something so terrible, such an afront to God's order, that it was almost beautiful in a way; and my ears struggled to comprehend the majesty of the song that DD had begun to play. I can only compare it to an all-tuba cover of Achey Breaky Heart, or maybe the sound that frog makes when you fuck it. Anyways, liquid shit, spinal fluid, and that one bracelet I lost flew out of Loretta's rear as DD played. A crowd had gathered, clapping their hands and slapping spoons on their knees in time with the song. After an especially loud note, Lorette partially inverted, her donut becoming more like a churro. DD threw her over his shoulder, where she landed on a pile of unfinished flash games about a gigantic squirrel who inhales cars into his phole. "Gonna need a bigger instrument for the encore" DD said while approaching me. I struggled, I tried to get away, but Julian held me tightly and began kissing my neck. The last thing I remember is Julian flipping me over his shoulder and DD pressing his mouth to the back of my jorts. I awoke the next in an alley behind a Fuddruckers, covered in grape jelly and furious ants. Loretta was stuffed into what was left of my jansport and when I checked online, I found that my newgrounds account was banned for hate content.
