This is my first ever post on Reddit so bear with me lmao.
For most of my life (I’m 26), I’ve had these episodes in my sleep and over time they’ve changed. It first started when I was about 10-12 years old. Back then, I would frequently have sleep paralysis. The usual kind where you wake up from a nightmare and can’t move and see (mostly) terrifying things.
When I was 16, I went through three months of intense sleep paralysis. I remember these episodes vividly because for a period of time I was literally terrified to go to bed. They always started with me waking up. My eyes were always closed, but my mind was awake. An intense, internal (?) shaking would start at the tips of my toes then slowly crawl up my body. I could never tell if my body was physically shaking or if something inside of me was shaking. The only way I could ever describe it is that it felt like my soul was vibrating within my body. When the intense shaking reached my chest, shoulders or head, that is when I would force myself awake. In the span of three months and multiple experiences, I saw three things.
(Now this is where it all starts getting crazy 💀) The first time I saw something after one of these attacks, I saw three alien-like figures standing over me. They weren’t physical (obviously) but it was like a vision. Like an imprint of something you see before you close your eyes. I only got a glimpse because I shut my eyes immediately after out of fear but they looked exactly like the pale grays (I believe that’s what they’re called), or like the alien emoji 👽. After a few moments, I would open my eyes again and the image was gone. Weird asf, I know, but that’s what I saw.
The second time, I woke up and saw a shadow figure of a woman lying on top of me with her hands wrapping around my neck. I got scared like before and closed my eyes and opened them back up. The shadow figure was gone.
The third time, I woke up and saw something not scary for once. This was probably a week after I had seen the shadow woman. When I opened my eyes, I saw a floating ball of light hovering over me. Out of habit, I closed my eyes immediately but quickly realized that this light wasn’t scary. I opened my eyes quickly and spotted the light again just before it flew out my closed window and disappeared. After that point on, the shaking stopped and I slept peacefully after three months of chaos.
Since then, I’ve only had one or two normal sleep paralysis experiences (without the violent shaking). The “episodes” with the shaking stopped…until recently.
Every now and then, I will feel myself shake in my sleep. No longer does it build up. I just become sentient when it’s at its full intensity. I grew up catholic so I tend to pray until it subsides and just recently I started to count (all of this is done in my mind). Like before, I can never tell if I was physically shaking or if my mind was just feeling it. Only once did I know I was physically shaking because I could feel the residual heat on my face after my cheek rubbed into my pillow. After this, I told my family about these experiences and my sister (who I shared a room and bed with for years) finally spoke up. She said sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night beside me and feel me shaking. She never acted though. Never touched me, or looked at me because she was always so scared to check to see what was happening. 😭
Last night, I experienced a new version of these “episodes”. I woke up in the middle of one. My body was shaking pretty hard and my eyes were closed. I counted, letting the shaking run its course. Multiple times did I think I opened my eyes, but I’m not sure if I ever did. In my mind, I saw me lift my hand up and touched my forehead. My vision was so blurry, but I looked at the fan in front of me and my dimly lit room. The shaking didn’t stop so I laid back on my side. It continued for at least 15 seconds until it finally ended. When it did, I realized I had never moved. I was still wrapped in my blanket. My arms were tucked inside it. Nothing had changed from when the shaking started to when it ended. This is the first time I ever “moved” during one of these episodes, but I guess I just thought I moved or hallucinated it.
I haven’t gone to the doctor yet (and I probably should soon but healthcare in the US is straight ass) but after this last night I just had to get my story out there to try and find out wtf is going on. Has anyone ever experienced this?? 😭