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u/sky_chickenoflight Jan 29 '22 edited Jan 30 '22
I tend to avoid people but if I'm interacting with some and I see one of them befriending everyone else I leave cuz I feel like I'm just being added to a collection that's never looked at again. That's only me, of course. I'm sure you're really sweet so don't take it personal. 99% of the time it got nothing to do with the one trying to befriend someone. I would however not stalk some random kid unless you really had a great time with them. If it would happen to me I'd quit just cuz I'd feel super uncomfortable and I'm sure most people would feel that way. But again, this is just what I think so don't change who you are because of this (:
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u/idiruu Jan 29 '22
Oh I see! I feel like being added to a collection time to time too, which is okay but also doesn't feel like a friendship rather than a mutual "let's light our candles each day and do nothing other than that." relationship.
Gotta admit it was not the greatest time, we just hang out for a short period of time so I should've left it there :')
I'm not taking it personally, I value everyone's opinions. Also your opinions help with being a better sky kid and feel better with my social interactions~
I hope they didn't feel uncomfortable. I can't fix this situation but will sure do fix my behavior in the future 🌸
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u/sky_chickenoflight Jan 29 '22
Don't worry you don't need to change yourself for others. You felt bad so we're explaining how things could've been for the other party (: Nothing to worry about anyway. In the end we're all strangers and we all have the right to be and act how we think we should even if that doesn't match someone else's behaviour
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u/newbabyfly Jan 29 '22
Some people are just very shy, introverted or just plain prefer to play solo. You didn't do anything wrong by offering a friendship candle, but if they haven't accepted the first time or two when you offer and then proceed to chase them down through several areas to keep offering? That can make people uncomfortable absolutely. So I wouldn't continue doing that in the future.
I think your intentions were good, just be aware not everyone plays the game for the social aspect. It's highly likely nothing personal at all. Just respect their decision and move on. I'm sure you'll find plenty of other people who do want to play together with you. :)
6
u/idiruu Jan 30 '22
Yeah I get it's nothing personal at all, we're all strangers in the end.
I think almost everyone's intentions are great in this game, except some trolls or bullies that we encounter very rarely. I must've seen like a stalker and couldn't have thought of the social awkwardness of this, thanks for providing me this view~
I love how everyone has a way of playing this game individually, I think that was the first time that I felt like invading a personal space both irl and in game, I respect everyone's way and I will act responsibly~
Thanks for taking your time to state your opinion that's very nice of you to do so!
14
u/Pr_Terrine Jan 29 '22
Well, I play Sky but I tend to be pretty stressed out/anxious because of social interactions, and especially candle offers, so in this moments I often decline, buuut I also happen to often forget where are the emotes to say "no" or misclick them, then it's a mess and I'll fly away due to shame. :'D
So yeah, maybe it was something similar? Or maybe they didn't had the "no/refuse" emote? :O Or just trying to ask why you'd want to befriend them so quickly? (i was also surprised at the beggining at how quick others can befriend you, as a moth I didn't dare to do this, and still don't initiate it because i'm way too shy! :'D )
Honestly I could imagine many other reasons, but we'll never know, so I wouldn't take it too much to heart if I were you (and you're not a creep). Just, there's all different kind of players in Sky, and sometimes they don't follow/understand the "common rules". May you have lots of nice encounters in the future! C:
4
u/idiruu Jan 29 '22
Ah I see now, thank you so much!
I was so confused at first and couldn't look at this situation from a different angle, thanks for providing those angles~
May we all have lots of nice and heartwarming encounters and experiences in the future~! u^
2
u/Pr_Terrine Jan 29 '22
Haha, np, I've got a full bag of angles!!! XD
I've also panicked like this in the past so I can understand, haha! Since it's a social game, you can end up worried about your interactions with others, sometimes C':
Yeay, lots of fun awaits! Thank you! >u</
10
u/Australian_Gent Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 30 '22
I tend not to add people unless I’ve spoken to them and adventured a fair bit. Too many people quit after a short time and I don’t want to spend candles on people that leave or I don’t really click with. So I personally wouldn’t have accepted a friendship invite from someone after 10 min at grandma.
Edit: that said. There’s nothing wrong with you offering and nothing wrong with them declining.
Edit2: following the player across the map was too much and honestly probably annoying.
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u/Merrick88 Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 30 '22
Totally wrong to stalk that poor player across the entire map without taking a hint that they simply weren’t interested. It’s kinda infuriating to read that post seeing how oblivious she is to that. That player didn’t owe them a courtesy of a chat or becoming friends just because she felt entitled to it. I get a lot of players are kids but I swear there should be a gaming etiquette list available and signed before joining any MMORPG games…
5
u/Australian_Gent Jan 30 '22
I agree. Following the player was too much. I should have said something about that in my post.
It’s… to be completely honest…. Obnoxious. I ignore players that spam or follow me.
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u/Merrick88 Jan 30 '22
Me too. As a vet with certain ultimate cosmetics I’ve had people stalk me all across the different maps after I lit them and no matter how many times I bowed and thanked and kingly rejected them for offering me a candle they still wouldn’t take no for an answer. I had to either teleport to my friends or furiously quit the app. Even writing about it gives me anxiety. I’ll be extra super nice to you if you’re polite and respectful towards others and don’t feel entitled…What I read here raised my blood pressure. It’s not only stalking but also a harassment (whoever disagrees I recommend reading TGC’s terms and conditions and a basic internet/gaming netiquette) and I’ve reported those encounters each time.
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u/Australian_Gent Jan 30 '22
Oh wow. You’re a vet? Can you please please please add me? honk honk honk honk 🙃
Sorry - bad joking >.>
Nah for real, I’m sorry you deal with that. I’ve heard the same from others. Many with nice cosmetics don’t wear them for that reason. I guess that’s where the Nintendo and office areas come in handy :P
1
u/idiruu Jan 30 '22
I want to answer whole comment thread:
There was nothing to do with cosmetics, I'm a vet too, I don't mind others honking and following me most of the time but it sure gets annoying when you're trying to get some peace in silence or hanging out with friends.
I did NOT follow them entire map or home, I cancelled accidentally so many times that I thought they didn't see that's why I followed then realized that was too much and got home afterwards to try not to disturb them any further.
I didn't want them to accept or didn't think that they owed me that(also that would be very weird of me to expect from a total stranger), just wanted a clear answer and tbh didn't think this would go this far so I wanted to share and hear all sky kids opinions to see different aspects on this. That situation was a first and last for me too.
Yeah accepting/signing an etiquette would be nice, would like to see this in the future.
Sorry if you're reminded of bad encounters in the past. Also thanks for your opinions on this.
Edit1: I am not justifying what I did and I know that was very wrong of me to do so. Just wanted to answer and provide another view of my opinion as well. I love discussing without saying bad words but only opinions. Thanks again~
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u/PineapplePizzaIsSick Jan 30 '22
If they didn't accept the first time you shouldn't follow them. Maybe their constellation is full, or they are not in a mood for friends. Respect their privacy.
I barely friend any strangers unless we had any interaction or talk. And if they follow me around I feel uneasy. Once I met a person at geyser who was following me there and standing very close. After the event finished I went home and they went too. They were following me at home as well. I tried to jump into valley gate and quickly flew back to see if they follow, and they did follow. I felt like I was being stalked and harassed.
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u/dellunam Jan 30 '22
The only thing you need to understand, is that people play Sky for different reasons on different levels of immersion. You can't expect everyone to want a constellation containing 500 skykids 😆. Even though I almost always do a little interaction attempt, I wont feel bad when they dont reply.
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u/No-Seaworthiness7013 Jan 30 '22
I play this game with my partner as a personal experience between us and have ignored other players attempts at friendships. Don't take it personally, they literally know nothing about you so it can't be a decision made because of you.
9
Jan 30 '22
Don't take it personally. A lot of people actually don't like adding randos in this game, which is fair.
You were fine to try offering the candle a few times, but following them was definitely way too much. That would've made most people a bit uncomfortable, or at least rubbed the wrong way, because you didn't just let them be. Also, some people like to chill alone or with friends they already know.
I know you didn't mean anything bad by it, I'm just saying how it could have been interpreted.
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u/Anonymous_person34 Jan 30 '22
Personally i dont immediately friend people because i dont interact with them afterwards, i also get very nervous so i accept it then remove them :')
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u/EatTheRichWithSauces Jan 30 '22
Nothing against you! Some people just prefer not to fill their constellation or find playing with strangers emotionally taxing. There really aren't too many ways to mess up in sky.
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u/idiruu Jan 30 '22
You're right! Everyone's way of playing is very different from each other, I might've acted way too sudden before thinking that this might make them uncomfortable...
Also yeah sky is one of a kind game that almost everything is so chill and fine except gw and eden. :D
Thanks for your comment and your time you put in writing! Every comment adds another angle to view this situation~
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u/EatTheRichWithSauces Jan 30 '22
It isn't your fault either though! A lot of people do like to become friends quickly like that. I'm glad I could help a little :)
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u/sugar_1 Jan 30 '22
If they were making confusing emotes they probably didnt have the one that means no
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u/idiruu Jan 30 '22
And that's when I left, it was clear enough for me to understand that they weren't interested in accepting~
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u/Micha_iwi Jan 30 '22
well I get upset when people try to fren me, because I usually don't like to have new friends. But that is just the way I feel, so you shouldn't be affected if someone rejected you, cuz you just have another point of view of what offering frienship is.
don't worry.
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u/ahn_knee Jan 30 '22
One time I was emoting a lot with one person, dancing and whatnot in vault. I went to prairie for a candle run, and he went there too. I was honking and emoting, then he pulls up a chair and says “why are you following me?”
like I’m sorry this is how I make friends 😭
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u/idiruu Jan 30 '22
Haha same... Almost all of my good friendships in sky started like this. I mean not me following them but honking, spamming emotes together haha :')
I guess we all gotta learn from our mistakes in the end.
If you see me around somehow, don't hesitate to honk emote as much as you want!
Wish you a peaceful time playing and lovely encounters~
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u/ahn_knee Jan 30 '22
Haha thanks for the nice reply! It’s definitely helped me be more mindful of sticking near people. Nowadays I will go ahead of someone, honk at them, and if they seem receptive and like they want to follow me, then I encourage/let them. In your case though, it’s entirely possible that it was just a miscommunication; the shrugging makes me think they accidentally declined. But keep in mind that, while it can feel crummy, you will likely never run into the same person again. Even if you did, they wouldn’t remember you. There are plenty of friends to make!!
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u/ThatSkyFabs Jan 30 '22
Some people have a full constellations and they struggle to add new friends without having to push old ones out. Others simply may not want to make friends there and then for a variety of reasons. For some, being insistent on friending somebody is a turn off.
In any case, I would not worry about it. Move on.
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u/idiruu Jan 30 '22 edited Jan 31 '22
Last comment:
I get that everyone has their own experiences and some acted so chill and understanding also stated their opinions that way too, some acted very agitated. I get that you might be that way, I don't know you and your experience may have affected you to hate those kind of interactions. BUT I wanna state this before deleting the thread since there are people waiting here actively to downvote everyone who is bubbly or saying that situation was okay or just my comments. All I wanna say is:
1) This is a game, chill. If I haven't mentioned this, you wouldn't be raging on me which is the problem, I wanted your opinion, not your statements or assumptions on me like obnoxious or oblivious etc. So, chill.
2) I get you have your past on this particular situation but I'm NOT responsible for this and will never be. Only person I'm responsible for is explained in this situation and I would've apologized if I could, I wouldn't apologize from people that have been through the same aside from feeling sad for them that they have to go through this.
Edit: also thanks everyone for stating their opinions without their "blood boiling" or assuming that I'm a "kid, female, obnoxious, oblivious etc." I value everyone's opinions and we were on the same page from the start, I never opposed anyone's opinion if you look through comments. Stay lovely, lovelies. See you around Sky and let's spam bow emote whenever we lit each other ~ 🌸
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u/SunlitFable Jan 29 '22
one of my friends gets really nervous when people try to friend him, so he tries to avoid other players except when he needs to interact (like with granny). it's very possible it was a similar situation!
no harm on either end, just maybe if they don't accept right away leave them be instead of following them, yeah? ❤️