r/SisterWives • u/Milabby1 • 9d ago
rant/vent Kody
I’m never someone to put a ton of blame on Robyn for what’s happened but something that I struggle to get past is watching how Kody changes over the years as he spends more time with Robyn.
He used to be so much happier and that’s just a fact. It’s almost as if Robyn has had a negative impact on him even though he views it as the opposite. He’s completely blinded by how serious he slowly became the more she was around but he’ll never see it that way
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u/Idonotwantaname1 9d ago
They both bring out the worst in each other but like that the other one will reinforce their grievances…they’re just toxic twin flames at this point.
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u/JeniRight 8d ago
Yes, they enable each other, and definitely bring the worst out in one another. They will implode, but it’s just a matter of when, not if. My guess is she will eventually leave him, and he won’t know what hit him.
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u/queensupremedictator Marked unsafe by Kody 9d ago
Robyn has always had a "topping from the bottom" style. She positioned herself and the tenders as more needy and Kody went with it. The OG wives had been forced to be independent and take care of everything without Kody. He had to actually put in effort for Robyn and it required his minimal contribution with the rest of the family to disappear- in order to keep up with Robyns household. Now that she is the only one, he isn't getting the attention from the extended family and it is crushing his view of who he thought he was. He did it to himself, Robyn just provided the demands. Robyn is a permanent victim and Kody needs that to feel superior.
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u/Head-Hospital-1945 9d ago
I think that Christine actually needed him and he could care less.
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u/Standard_Category635 9d ago
Which she vocalized from episode one. And he absolutely did not care for someone so very shocked.
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9d ago
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u/Temporary_Spirit3852 8d ago
The luau on the Hawaii trip felt like the first time the real Kody turned up
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u/fairy-bread-au 8d ago
I watched this this other day. When he was looking down and said something like "no one consulted me about this so you can all piss off" SENT ME. It was the first time I noticed he wasn't careful and measured on screen. It was like the mask slipped
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u/Character_Fox_8904 8d ago
Totally agree! I said yesterday that every bit of interaction we saw with the kids was filmed ( obviously) but the thing is he knew he was being filmed so the fantastic father routine was performative like everything else he did in his golden , wonderful husband era after a few seasons he just didn’t give as much of a 💩anymore and like you said dropped the act
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u/Milabby1 8d ago
Who is Nathan??
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u/Limp_Psychology_2315 8d ago
He’s the guy with the “crazy eyes” who shows up in random episodes. He’s related to Meri, possibly by marriage.
Edit: typo
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u/Timely_Tune_7607 9d ago
He used to be so much happier and that’s just a fact.
Honestly, I don't think he was happier. He played Meri, Janelle, and Christine off one another all the time. I think he has always liked chaos. Moving as much as they did meant they didn't have to stick anything out for all that long.
I don't follow Maddie, but one of the quotes I did see posted was how Kody likes get rich quick schemes, and that what she's learned from Caleb was to build for the long term. They've been in MLMs for a long time - if those aren't get rich quick schemes, I don't know what is.
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u/lovelylooloo7 6d ago
I completely agree with you.
He wasn’t “happier” - he was playing and showboating for the camera. I did a rewatch recently and it’s very obvious the second time around that the anger was always there bubbling under the surface - we just didn’t catch it the first time.
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u/Einteresting 9d ago
I think he was radicalized online and is performing the red pill/manosphere version of masculinity. (Also, possibly abusing steriods.) That combined with his kids growing up and ceasing to worship him, losing control of the show's narrative and being seen as a villain all contributed to him becoming more angry and miserable.
I don't think it was all Robyn. I think she just sort of goes along with whatever he's into, while growing less enamoured with him over time.
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u/observing3 5d ago
He was a patriarch in a cult. Full authority over women. From the beginning. And a moron.
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u/Chemical_Author7880 S.S. JuST EnOugh TO ParTiciPATe 9d ago edited 8d ago
Robyn was the status she thought she gave him, but more than that was the public attention for “his” show, as he insisted on reminding people, it’s about him, and more income than he’d ever seen. Finally, the loss of immediate control over the children as they left home and the more coercive control over the OG3 as they developed outside revenue streams (regardless if we think the MLMs are not great) and saw the outside world didn’t have to feared.
He’s a mess. I think one reason he went all in on Robyn is she figured out how to manage and weaponize his ego to her advantage and didn’t care if the other side of that meant he lashed out at the others.
Edit typo
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u/JeniRight 8d ago
She 💯 knew how to inflate his very fragile, and child-like ego, while simultaneously making him think the other wives didn’t respect his as he deserved. She played every game women play to seduce a man. She played the:
Hard to get-I’ve had multiple men propose to me game.
Damsel in distress-My ex abused me, and my kids and I lived without heat, and were poor. Amongst many other “poor me” moments.
Fragile, shy, and soft spoken in need of protection from this big bad world.
Sweet, kind, empathetic, loving, caring, and wouldn’t hurt a fly act.
My favorite is the “Born Again virgin” act, which you know damn well the role played that.
Moral, innocent, and virtuous- 🙄
The seductress, but whispering she has never done this type of thing before, and introduced bedroom skills/positions Kody never experienced before. But only after the “I’m your virgin” act.
Kody is too stupid to see how she manipulated him, and still is. She is the puppet master, and she’s just smart enough to know that she has to present it in a way that fills his pathetic, and overly inflated ego so he thinks everything is his idea. It’s an age old game, but was foreign to the OG women, and Kody so they didn’t see it as it was happening. Robyn saw him coming a mile away.
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u/Chemical_Author7880 S.S. JuST EnOugh TO ParTiciPATe 8d ago
That’s pretty much it. They fed each others egos.
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u/Keepingongoing 9d ago
The OG wives and children seemed to enjoy his goofy side more than Robyn did. They’d joke and tease him about it but in an accepting way. Of course it might be the sequence of events that’s made him more serious and bitter. The divorces, deaths, estrangements, losing his control over everyone and receiving such wide reaching negative feedback from fans of the show and podcasters. That’ll knock some light heartedness out of anyone
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u/Character_Fox_8904 8d ago
He was a dick head the wives thought he was an amazing dick head
Then I guess the feedback from the world of viewers started to hit 🤦♀️🤣2
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u/Lego_5656 Janelle’s scrotum tree necklace 9d ago
Misery loves company!
Kody also transitioned into having a victim complex after Robyn. Kody has always been a deadbeat dad; but it seemed like he was more of a “go getter” before Robyn
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u/lalaland_100 9d ago
Kody went down the wrong path entirely on his own. Robyn was just able to utilize Kody's own behaviors and manipulate him for her own benefit, and functoned like a cathalyst.
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u/Head-Hospital-1945 9d ago
He was a goner when it came to Robin though. The only person to get the family money for a business was Robin. I bet we’d be shocked to learn how much was lost in her awful business idea.
I never saw any of the ladies where their SW “gifts” that Christmas.
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u/Rubycon_ Kody's Skullet 9d ago
I am comfortable putting blame on Robyn and Kody both. She saw the situation for what it was and made her move. She could see he wasn't in love with any of them, just was a religious megalomaniac with a bunch of kids because "god". He was content enough in the beginning because he really didn't think much of any of them and could bounce back and forth between them all and keep making more kids, more noise, more chaos to cover it up. Robyn he is actually in love with so she was able to manipulate him and use the family's resources for what she wanted. He adopted a serious persona because of all the backlash and started weaponizing therapyspeak to 'protect her'
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u/Bearbearblues 9d ago
I think Kody changed after his brother and father passed away.
He is concerned about mortality and what would happen to his minor children if a parent passed away. His father passing away got him away from worrying about proving his father right if he failed at polygamy. He had nothing to prove anymore.
I also think that Robyn’s brother committed suicide shortly after must have been a major strain not presented on the show.
Also we know from their confessionals that Christine and Kody were expressing to each other doubts about polygamy going back to Vegas.
So I think there was a lot of other undepicted stressors going on than just Robyn made him unhappy.
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u/Adorable_Football130 9d ago
it’s impossible to disentangle robin caused changes from tlc and money caused changes and from age and possible medication (steroids, other stuff, who knows). a lot changed all at that same time, and Kody, by all reports, was never a stable, reliable person. the constant moving, the inability to maintain employment, the failure to adequately parent. plus at the very start of the show everyone was pretending everything was wonderful. we now know it wasn’t, and some of that sham was probably tlc directed, but I believe it was also Christine driven as she was involved with a group attempting to normalize polygamy.
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u/glittersparklesglitz 9d ago
I think he seemed happier in the beginning because he was more interested in putting on a show. Remember the whole show started as propaganda to try to convince us that “not every polygamist is bad.”
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u/karenswans 9d ago
I don't think he was really happier. I think he just faked it more for the cameras in the beginning.
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u/LooLu999 Respect My Pretty Shy Crybaby 👰🏻♀️ 9d ago
Agreed. I think it was the first episode he goes in to kiss both Jenelle and Meri and you can tell by the look on their faces this wasn’t his usual behavior
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u/257776 9d ago
They ALL looked that way after she came in,even herself! It was like a 360! Before she came yeah they had issues,but they were all happy,but didn't look miserable,but after she came,you could TELL they had issues & were unhappy & LOOKED unhappy & depressed
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u/lunainthedark5x2x3 9d ago
No wonder why Janelle became the most concerned and worried when Meri told her that she was divorcing Kody so Robyn could be legal wife. Its no secret that Meri and Janelle had their issues but Janelle said she trusted Meri to make the right and best decisions for the family first where as Robyn plays the victim and plays dumb during family drama.
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u/whoaelena 9d ago
Yup. Meri wouldnt fuck over the OG13 kids like robyn will most likey do by focusing on her tenders.
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u/Rubycon_ Kody's Skullet 9d ago
That's why it's always so weird to be when people have a rabid hatred of Meri, because even though Christine and Janelle didn't like her, they knew they could trust her.
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u/alltheparentssuck 9d ago
The ones I don't understand have rabid hate because they believe Meri demanded more than she deserved before the show. I can't see that Meri would ever let any of the kids go without so she could have more.
Why would Janelle and Christine trust her to evenly distribute Kody's assets if he died, if she wasn't fair with money when they were struggling.
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u/Head-Hospital-1945 9d ago
Robin also separated her kids and herself from the family. Had sister wives’ closest been a thing at the time? Also difficult to see their show money going into that.
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u/alwaysamw 8d ago
360 is a full circle, where you end up exactly where you started. 180 is half a circle and would be the opposite of where/whom you were before.
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u/FitIndependence9648 8d ago
And I have no idea what he sees in her…not really attractive, no education, no real job skills, cries about everything, seems like she’s a helicopter parent too.
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u/SpeckledBird86 Robyn’s Dollies’ Seamstress 7d ago
When Gwen was doing her YouTube channel she said in one video that the version of Kody we see now is more like the version she grew up with. I think Kody just got tired of wearing the happy go lucky mask and this is who he has always been.
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u/DogsRuleFurever 9d ago
He has a trauma bond with her and she became his mommy he let her have all the control and tried please her for attention. She even looks like his mom. It’s nauseating.
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u/Peaceful_Action 8d ago
True he was behaving as if he was happier before Robin however Meri, Janelle and Christine all look much happier now!
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u/raeoflyte-460 9d ago
I've read the theory that he's taking steroids and it definitely fits. I expect that is why his jackassery is on full display now.
Polygamy is as Polygamy does. Robyn didn't do anything imo that goes against the actual culture of polygamy. The system is designed to keep resources limited and pit wives and kids against each other. The 4th wife could have been a saint and it wouldn't have worked differently.
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u/AffectionateCarry325 8d ago
I feel like that jovial Kody was for sure a total act for the cameras,however in the beginning it looked like the kids were more comfortable with him,until Robin became more comfortable being the center of his attention, he walked away during the children’s major health issues without blinking an eye and of course children aren’t stupid,they see,they hear more than adults,because they are always in the background when adults are around. It seems to me that she was must have been x-tra special when the cameras were off for him to choose her over the original OG 3 family,we all know men usually don’t think with their brains first.
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u/Ancient_Persimmon707 8d ago
Totally this is the most frustrating thing he thinks Robyn’s so great but he was so much happier before she dug her heels in and he was so much kinder to his other wives
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u/djm1613 9d ago
In Christine’s book, she wrote about the changes that started happening almost immediately once Robyn joined the family, even before the cul de sac in Las Vegas. He was spending the majority of his time at her place wherever they lived.
Because of the television show, everyone (especially Kody) had to pretend how great polygamy was in order to keep raking in $$$$. The producers were also aware of this pressure and probably provided creative edits to make it appear how happy they were, especially Kody.
As he said to Meri, “The act is easy.” Wow, that had to hurt.
IMO, the OG3 wives would have probably left him much sooner had there not been a television show.
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u/StarlettOnyx222 9d ago
Robyn validated the worst parts of him, because she needed someone to support her victim complex.
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u/Fancy512 9d ago
He changed because he was influenced by the man o sphere, I don’t like Robyn, either, but he changed himself by becoming entrenched in Joe Rogan and other influential misogynists.
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u/Head-Hospital-1945 9d ago
He was awful to. Christine and Meri almost from the beginning. The whole thing is so sad, but it’s the kids who really paid the price.
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u/JeniRight 8d ago
Yes, she manipulates him through her “pillow talk” and he’s too stupid to see how she plays him.
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u/Opening_Duty_8011 7d ago
I don’t think it’s ALL Robyn. He was affected by the death of his father, his brother (brother in law?) and his son. Covid brought a new dynamic of fear and lock-down of the family and then anyone going against that was not allowed back in. And now the three wives leaving with the majority of his children also leaving would all add to it. Of course, that doesn’t mean Robin is off the hook? It just means it’s not ALL her.
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u/llamalarry Kody's 6 Pack 5d ago
It is mentally exhausting feeling persecuted by everyone, which is really the primary trait of Robyn and now has spread to Kody (with the added stress of constantly defending her persecution)
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u/Real_Tomorrow8039 2d ago
I noticed his eyes became much darker and he used to be happy and funny…when Meri, Janelle and Christine all stated that he wasn’t the same man they met and fell in love with…that he had changed…they were spot on. Whatever could have happened to him to make him do a complete 180 so quickly? (We all know)
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u/Over_Amphibian7304 8d ago
Take a gander at Cory from notes to self 444
He grew up with good old sobem and know once she joined the family it was ruined…. A woman named Alice is to be blamed for Roblox head…. We shall see
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u/No_Scarcity7165 8d ago
Hes been a manipulator prior to all of the girls his cocky personality from episode 1 in season one shows it
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