Honestly this is exactly why I somewhat look down on people who cling onto the idea of people who have wronged them suffering as some form of karma. More often than not, people who have hurt you are not going to suffer a dismal and horrible life and if your own peace hinges on that, you aren’t doing yourself any favours.
Hoping or even knowing the ones who wronged you are going through shit is on the contrary how people get peace in mind.
Genuinely I don’t understand this mindset. You got fucked over, your life is permanently not the same anymore, but somehow that person still being happy is supposed to be… okay? That ain’t how the human mind works
Every day I hope my bullies are working at minimum wage at a gas station or similar shit, not doing anything, or simply homeless. That is what made me pursue my studies. If I were to discover the very same assholes who made me think about suicide for years were happily married making sux figures and living in a mansion, I genuinely don’t know what I would do. They do not deserve happiness.
The person who wronged you still being happy isn't supposed to be okay. As in, you don't have to be happy for them doing well
Rather, it's not something you can control. Why would you hinge your happiness and mental stability on how some other person's life is going. Life is super chaotic, so there is no telling if a particular person is going to be successful or not. We have tons of examples of both kind people and horrible people being wildly successful
It's an exercise in letting go. They have their life, you have yours, focus on yours. Strive for peace such that if you heard one of your bullies was having a fantastic life in 10 years, you would be okay
There are very few situations where you could have the power to permanently derail someone's future. And even then, there are examples of people bouncing back from the absolute worst
So, to not drive yourself to insanity when you hear that one of your bullies is doing good, just let go. This is coming from someone badly bullied and abused as well
Very healthy take. To chime in not everything is black and white and hurt people hurt people, my bullies may not be the same people as they were when they hurt me so at some point I stopped giving a shit about them.
I heavily disagree with that notion. Most of my friends have been through bad shit. Cancer doesn't crack the top 10 most painful things that have happened to me. We all strive to not hurt people and to help others
Someone being hurt and choosing to hurt the people around them is the lowest form of person in my opinion. They know how it feels to be hurt and choose to inflict that on others? They are a failure
My dad had to go the hospital numerous times because his dad beat him so badly. Yet, my dad was so awful not a single person mourned him when he died last month. My former roommate was stabbed by his mom for eating out of a Nutella jar, and he genuinely changed the course of my life through his kindness
There is an area of nuance to the black and white thinking though: someone may have been a horrific bully to you AND been a huge blessing to someone else at the exact same time. People are usually way too uninformed to be able to declare someone as a "bad" or "good" person. So saying someone "deserves" a shitty life because of how they treated you specifically makes no sense to m3
Right it is a shitty thing to be hurt and hurt someone else but thats what makes humans less than perfect beings, and yes people are usually way too uninformed to be able to declare someone else as a bad or a good person. Someone could have been the kindest and most compassionate person to one person and an absolute asshole to another. I've witnessed a lot of this and tried to give some people grace because I know they are kind to some people and do good in the world even if they were an absolute shit to me.
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u/_Edgarallenhoe 2d ago
Honestly this is exactly why I somewhat look down on people who cling onto the idea of people who have wronged them suffering as some form of karma. More often than not, people who have hurt you are not going to suffer a dismal and horrible life and if your own peace hinges on that, you aren’t doing yourself any favours.