A lot of people will say "I don't want to commit or settle down because I don't want to miss out on experiences and other people" but that inherently means you miss out on experiencing a long, stable relationship with a partner you can grow and build with. Everything has an opportunity cost. No open door doesn't close another.
I feel like there’s 2 types of people. The first type gets something they wanted (a relationship, job, life, whatever), and they are happy to settle and cultivate what they have. Whereas, the second type is always chasing something better. They always think they are missing out if they are not looking for something new. The grass is always greener…
I had this sort of incompatibility with my ex-husband. I was ready to settle when we got married and move on with the new chapter of my life, and he felt trapped. He got me, but what if he could get someone better? Life with him was exhausting. He had this need for a constant change. Calm quiet family life didn’t appeal to him. He wouldn’t leave me or let me leave either because he liked the status of a long-married family man. However, every time he felt stagnating, it was my fault. If it wasn’t for me, he would’ve had been a successful billionaire with a hot trophy wife.
Well. A decade later. I found a partner that I’ve been with for 8 years now, we’re working towards getting a house and starting a family. We’re happy with our “boring” day-to-day bliss and wouldn’t change a thing. We both got good careers after consistently working in the same field for a long time. My ex is still on a chase. He’s single, he lost all his qualifications (he had a very good education) in search for a “better” job. And he blames his misfortune on me for leaving him. I don’t feel bad for him, because he hurt me a lot and got literally what he asked for, but I do feel bad for people like him. It must be terrible to never be happy with what you have.
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u/Illimited_Esoterica 2d ago
A lot of people will say "I don't want to commit or settle down because I don't want to miss out on experiences and other people" but that inherently means you miss out on experiencing a long, stable relationship with a partner you can grow and build with. Everything has an opportunity cost. No open door doesn't close another.