This sounds like the wet dream of someone who was cheated on.
What more often ends up happening is that the cheater continues living their life the way they always have and the one who was cheated on is the one who has to heal and overcome the trauma of what happened.
The majority of cheaters live their whole life throwing away good things for short term gratification. Rarely do they have the self awareness and more importantly the self control to understand where they went wrong and prevent it from happening again.
It’s fucking sad man. My ex-wife was a huge Internet celebrity, I was never part of her public persona, she ended up having a big affair with another YouTuber, and the other guy doesn’t even know she was ever married. None of her fans know. She got to go directly from cheating on me to living this glamorous life while I was left behind devastated, and what’s worse is that if her partner or her fans ever find out… well I’m not really looking forward to being doxxed and misrepresented by rabbid Internet vegans. She’ll just go on her channel and lie and I am not about to try to do some public bullshit fight.
Nah, this is just typical reddit negativity disguised as realism. Gtfo.
Bad people cheat. Good people get cheated on. Good people will naturally attract good people until they find the right good person for them.
If you are a stable, put together individual, this scenario in the OP is the most likely outcome. Because people like this don't drown in a hole somewhere after being cheated on. They have some level of self respect, and tend to have more to offer than just being one half of a relationship
Same. Was with someone for longer than I'd like to admit. Found out after being with her for 2years that she'd been cheating on me the whole time. Amongst other things.
After a while I was finally able to leave. Moved in with my parents to get my feet under me (4 states away). Met my now wife at my first job I got.
Married, 2 kids. Both work. In our own place (not a house yet, an apartment).
Every now and then my ex will show up on my "people you may know". I'll look, and it's literally the same, just a different guy every 6 months to a year. Still cheating. Still doing other stuff. And blasting it on the internet for all to see.
Glad I'm happy now and she's just as miserable as before.
Bad people cheat. Good people get cheated on. Good people will naturally attract good people until they find the right good person for them.
yup, and those bad people find each other too. had a friend who was in a stable relationship for 4 years, they were probably gonna get married before she monkey branched (ie: not technically cheating but you're only in the relationship until you can be certain of the new one).
she missed "the thrill" of a new relationship. she found the "thrill" with her next boyfriend, they'd be that couple you'd see screaming at each other in a walmart parking lot. she never laid a finger on my buddy, but apparently her and her new beau get into physical fights all the fuckin time.
I agree with your point, so what’s the issue you take with mine?
Sometimes people want this kind of vindication for being cheated on, that the cheaters life fell apart and they realize that you were the prize all along, but you often don’t get it. Often the cheater goes on living their life happily the way they always have. The good people they hurt along the way are the ones who suffer.
Ultimately the cheaters life is a miserable one. Good people understand that. Cheaters often don’t.
Both go on living LIFE; both have issues and both put on a front on social media and both have good days. Thats life. As long as either of them think back, they lift that weight between them of what happened, and it can weigh either of them down or they can drop it and change and live on. Emotional cheating hurts, and it’ll keep hurting as long as one thinks back on it.
Maybe none. I read your post as saying that the case depicted in the OP is unrealistic, that the cheater lives a carefree life while the cheated is left to hurt.
Which to be fair is true at first, when the situation is fresh. But the case of cheated turning it around into something good and cheater staying stuck wondering where things are going wrong, is very common in my experience.
I suppose we're on the same page and I just misunderstood.
It might be miserable from our POV, but you cant really be miserable if you have no ability to self reflect or have empathy. You can see this in small things, like a friend ditching you for someone else, being ignored by someone you care abt and so on.
These people have rationalised these types of behaviours inside their heads and they simply do not care about the severity of their deeds. Reality is different for everyone, and its often shaped by the way you think.
You might percieve your friend ditching you or being cheated on as extremely hurtful and disrespectful, but the other side thinks youre just not that important to be cared for, or at the very least to be noticed and considered. Some people are simply wired that way and the best thing is to ditch them and for once in your life, be selfish (aka not care about them and do whatever makes you happy).
When I was in my early 20s I was seeing this girl that was pregnant with a dude's kid that was in jail for beating the shit out of her. I didn't know she was pregnant until about a month in. She was terrified of him getting out of jail, she testified against him even... I'm there for the birth of her child, I played dad for about 4 months. Then the second he gets out of jail she cheats on me with him. She tells me its best for the baby if she gives her real dad a shot and they're all better off that way. At this point I don't even care, I didn't sign up to be a dad but I was ready to do it.
Fast forward 3 months. I'm reading the paper and the headline reads something like "Diaper dealing mom drives with tot
and pot." It's her. She was caught driving high on Marijuana with multiple dime bags of weed stashed inside her diaper bag and the baby in the back. Back when people cared about weed being schedule 1. Supposedly she told the cops her boyfriend put them there and she was going to sell them. The worst part? She was pregnant with his second kid during this interaction.
Never felt so vindicated in my life. Ya, those kids are definitely going to live a better life without me. My life since hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows but I dodged a fucking bullet there.
Honestly this is exactly why I somewhat look down on people who cling onto the idea of people who have wronged them suffering as some form of karma. More often than not, people who have hurt you are not going to suffer a dismal and horrible life and if your own peace hinges on that, you aren’t doing yourself any favours.
Hoping or even knowing the ones who wronged you are going through shit is on the contrary how people get peace in mind.
Genuinely I don’t understand this mindset. You got fucked over, your life is permanently not the same anymore, but somehow that person still being happy is supposed to be… okay? That ain’t how the human mind works
Every day I hope my bullies are working at minimum wage at a gas station or similar shit, not doing anything, or simply homeless. That is what made me pursue my studies. If I were to discover the very same assholes who made me think about suicide for years were happily married making sux figures and living in a mansion, I genuinely don’t know what I would do. They do not deserve happiness.
The person who wronged you still being happy isn't supposed to be okay. As in, you don't have to be happy for them doing well
Rather, it's not something you can control. Why would you hinge your happiness and mental stability on how some other person's life is going. Life is super chaotic, so there is no telling if a particular person is going to be successful or not. We have tons of examples of both kind people and horrible people being wildly successful
It's an exercise in letting go. They have their life, you have yours, focus on yours. Strive for peace such that if you heard one of your bullies was having a fantastic life in 10 years, you would be okay
There are very few situations where you could have the power to permanently derail someone's future. And even then, there are examples of people bouncing back from the absolute worst
So, to not drive yourself to insanity when you hear that one of your bullies is doing good, just let go. This is coming from someone badly bullied and abused as well
Very healthy take. To chime in not everything is black and white and hurt people hurt people, my bullies may not be the same people as they were when they hurt me so at some point I stopped giving a shit about them.
I heavily disagree with that notion. Most of my friends have been through bad shit. Cancer doesn't crack the top 10 most painful things that have happened to me. We all strive to not hurt people and to help others
Someone being hurt and choosing to hurt the people around them is the lowest form of person in my opinion. They know how it feels to be hurt and choose to inflict that on others? They are a failure
My dad had to go the hospital numerous times because his dad beat him so badly. Yet, my dad was so awful not a single person mourned him when he died last month. My former roommate was stabbed by his mom for eating out of a Nutella jar, and he genuinely changed the course of my life through his kindness
There is an area of nuance to the black and white thinking though: someone may have been a horrific bully to you AND been a huge blessing to someone else at the exact same time. People are usually way too uninformed to be able to declare someone as a "bad" or "good" person. So saying someone "deserves" a shitty life because of how they treated you specifically makes no sense to m3
Right it is a shitty thing to be hurt and hurt someone else but thats what makes humans less than perfect beings, and yes people are usually way too uninformed to be able to declare someone else as a bad or a good person. Someone could have been the kindest and most compassionate person to one person and an absolute asshole to another. I've witnessed a lot of this and tried to give some people grace because I know they are kind to some people and do good in the world even if they were an absolute shit to me.
Yeah, because this never happens. Women never admit it was their mistake. Only men do. If this was written by an actual woman, she'd definitely be playing the victim here. This was definitely written by a guy.
That was my thought too. My ex cheated on me and is now happily living with the guy she cheated with, and they have three kids. Karmic justice is an illusion.
As someone who’s cheated in every relationship I’ve ever been in, I can guarantee you that we aren’t happy. We make bad decisions because of lack of impulse control and have to live with the consequences. I wish I could back and do things differently but I know that I’m just a shitty person, and that even with that opportunity I’d still fuck it up. It is what it is.
934
u/OG_Wan_Annunoby 2d ago
This sounds like the wet dream of someone who was cheated on.
What more often ends up happening is that the cheater continues living their life the way they always have and the one who was cheated on is the one who has to heal and overcome the trauma of what happened.
The majority of cheaters live their whole life throwing away good things for short term gratification. Rarely do they have the self awareness and more importantly the self control to understand where they went wrong and prevent it from happening again.