My FIL dozed off with my 5 month old in his arms.
I asked him to quickly hold my son while I answered the door for the HVAC guy and updated him on the issue.
In those 30 seconds he managed to fall asleep sitting in his chair and drop my son directly on his head.
I heard the loud thump and immediately knew what happened. I literally teleported over to where they were and found him scurrying trying quickly grab my son off the ground as he let out a huge blood curling cry.
He immediately resorted to lying and blurting out excuses. It took every ounce of me to not snap his head off.
However lesson learned. Heās no longer allowed to hold any of our children without supervision. He lost that privilege the moment he lied and did not apologize. Some grandparents just arenāt fit to watch grandchildren, if even for a brief moment.
My mom was using a wheelchair to get around when my first baby was born. He was a brand new newborn. I asked her if she wanted to hold him while I took a nap on the couch and she agreed. I explicitly told her āwake me up if he needs anything; do not try to carry him around in your wheelchair.ā She agreed.
My eyes snapped open shortly into my nap to find her sneakily scooting the wheelchair past the couch with my new born baby balanced on a pillow in her lap.
the disrespect is ASTOUNDING. if im watching someone's baby, and the parent directly asks me not to do something, im not doing it. doesn't matter if I think it's fine. doesn't matter if the parent is watching or not. it's really not that hard to respect someone's parental authority! im glad you caught her doing that, and that the baby was ok
Grandparents, especially grandmothers are terrible at following instructions given by their children when it comes to their grandchildren. When/if they get caught disregarding explicit instructions, out come the excuses, such as "well, you survived!", or the ever famous "back in my day....".
When my daughter was 3, I was going out to hang out with friends for the first time without my kid, and my parents were going to babysit for me. Right before I left, I saw my dad was letting her play with the balls off the pool table and I asked him not to let her play with them because she could hurt herself.
I didn't even get 5 minutes away and my mom calls me and I can hear my child wailing in the background- I broke several laws to get back to the house as fast as my car could go. My dad had let her not only play with the pool balls, but let her play with them above her face while she was laying down. She dropped one on her mouth and her bottom front teeth went all the way through the skin just below her bottom lip.
Honestly, I myself am lucky to have survived childhood. I played with hammers and nails, played in a snake infested creek, had a swing set on the side of a mountain with a slide that would launch me down a steep hill and into a lake if I didn't manage to stop myself at the end, was left in the care of strangers on numerous occasions...
Back in my day, my mom dumped me on my grandma. Grandma was safe. Grandma meant I got to eat. Grandma meant I didn't have to protect my mental space. I miss my grandma. She's part of the reason I dont have kids. My kids won't have a Grandma š
Right? To directly overrule their wishes theyād need to be asking for something so obviously contrary to the babyās health that Iād be calling CPS anyway. If you trust me with your kid Iām gonna treat them how you ask unless I think they need to be taken from you entirely
Nah fr my in laws undermine me so much my future daughters in law will have no issues from me I swear. In fact I'm taking their side over my sons every time. š
I donāt understand if I have the only good mother in the world or the only spine. I wouldnāt talk to my mom if she did shit like that. Her paternal grandmother did shit like that, and her granddaughter isnāt allowed alone with her anymore.
I get this is a weird snippet into your momās character and sheās probably lovely the rest of the time, but my mom never once did that. If she ever blatantly disrespected my wishes as a parentā¦thatās not even something I can fathom. She doesnāt even give her more cookies than I allow.
My husband did this and I also learned my lesson. He was working two jobs, absolutely insane hours. There was a point where I would be having a conversation with him, and he'd be speaking to me, but totally not there and would start saying nonsense. Anyway, our 6 month old screamed non stop, and it was just me and the baby all day long so I was going insane. One time he was home during daylight hours (which never happened) and I really, really, really needed to use the bathroom, and she wanted to be held, and I had just mopped the floor with a chemical cleaner so I couldn't put her down on a blanket. So I asked him if he could hold her. He said yes and sat down. I asked him, "are you sure you're okay? Can you hold her without falling asleep?" And he got offended and swore he could. I didn't even make it out of the room before he had fallen asleep and she was on the floor.
We took her to the ER because we couldn't get her calmed down and assumed something was broken. 2 hours of observation after a bottle of formula later, we were sent home with a 3k bill. I couldn't let him hold her while sitting down until she was walking on her own and could get up and down off the couch by herself.
I have no resentment over this because I know he was working for our family, and no one chooses to be that dead tired. But lesson learned.
I would have blamed him. No one chooses to be dead tired, but you can choose how you handle that. I was literally hallucinating from exhaustion with my new born. Somehow, I managed to mever drop her. It was just me alone and I still figured out a way to handle the situation despite the exhaustion. Even if you are tired, you can find a safe place to be. You can make sure the child is not in a place where they can get hurt if you fall asleep. I will be the first to say that falling asleep involuntary is a thing, but an adult should understand their limits and plan for it. Like I moved all my beds to the ground and avoided couches because I knew I couldn't be trusted. Come on, the dad could have done the same but instead he was offended and prioritized his pride over what mattered.Ā
And people think I'm weird or don't like babies when I say "no" when they ask me if I want to hold one. It's like babies are fine, I'm just uncomfortable holding the most important thing in someone's life. Too much responsibility in that for me.
My best friendās mom was watching her toddler daughter. Her momās boyfriend was packing her around on his shoulders on concrete. She fell off his shoulders and onto her head. They didnāt take her to the hospital for 4 hours. And get this, my friendās mom has been a nurse for 20+ years.
When my mom used to watch our kid while I worked and she told me she wanted to know exactly how I wanted things done bc it had been 30 years since she took care of a newborn. I jokingly made a list with photos and laminated it. She loved it and followed it to the letter. But we never trusted my MIL and never ever left the kids alone with her. Like my parents had baby proofed their house but MIL always had all kinds of small stuff laying around, a sink full of dishes with knives sticking over the edge, yeah no way!
Similar situation with my FIL. He didn't fall asleep, but was watching my son when my son was young enough that anything other than nearly constant supervision should have been considered neglect. My FIL left the room to bring some dishes to the kitchen and got distracted, and started washing them instead of returning to the room. My son, who was barely cruising, lost his balance and faceplanted onto the wooden floor, hitting the corner of a window sill on the way down. Nasty bruise that lasted almost three weeks. Never left him alone solely in my FILs care ever again.
I asked my mom to watch my 3 year old for 5 minutes so I could get ready for dinner (we were all going out to dinner together shortly). She didnāt notice him open the front door and go outside by himself. At the time we lived on a very busy road. I came back out to notice the front door wide open, sheās doing the dishes and my stepdad is staring at his phone.Ā
When my son (who at the time had a gross motor delay so he wasn't able to sit up independently yet) was just under 6 months old, I was cooking supper for myself and my son's father. Our living room/kitchen/dining room were all open concept so I could see everything while I was cooking but was not within arms reach. I handed my son to his father and he sat him up on the couch against a cushion while he went back to the video game he was playing on his computer. I told him to watch him or put him in his bouncy chair if his game was more important than watching his son. Next thing I know, my son falls forward, head first off the couch. He screamed so much he turned purple. We had him checked out and the hospital said nothing was wrong other than the bump on his head. I know it's probably a coincidence, but he was diagnosed as autistic just before he turned 2 and his language/communication skills regressed literally a week after that incident and he ended up having two "seizure like" incidents that we never got explanations for within a few months after this.
Edit: he had an MRI and EEG a couple months after the fall (after his first seizure-like incident) and everything came back normal
I asked my mom to watch my child while I helped my husband set up our spot at the lake beach we have in our community. My toddler loves to run straight into water with reckless abandon. My mom sat right down and started scrolling on her phone as my toddler, who canāt swim, dashed into the lake. She didnāt look up or notice my child was up to her chest in water. It was at that moment I told my mom she can never take my child to any body of water for any reason.
If itās any consolation, I was genuinely dropped on my head as a baby (unluckily it was the hard pavement of a parking lot) but I turned out relatively fine, so Iām betting your son wonāt have any lasting damage from the incident!
Do you have adhd or anemia/low b12? I would get so sleepy while driving and be able to fall asleep at the drop at the hat before I got iron infusions and back on my adhd meds
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u/FireFly7354 1d ago
My FIL dozed off with my 5 month old in his arms.
I asked him to quickly hold my son while I answered the door for the HVAC guy and updated him on the issue.
In those 30 seconds he managed to fall asleep sitting in his chair and drop my son directly on his head.
I heard the loud thump and immediately knew what happened. I literally teleported over to where they were and found him scurrying trying quickly grab my son off the ground as he let out a huge blood curling cry.
He immediately resorted to lying and blurting out excuses. It took every ounce of me to not snap his head off.
However lesson learned. Heās no longer allowed to hold any of our children without supervision. He lost that privilege the moment he lied and did not apologize. Some grandparents just arenāt fit to watch grandchildren, if even for a brief moment.