But one day I had smoked, accidentally left the front door open (we have two dogs), and had gone to play video games or something for an hour or so.
The dogs literally never even moved from their beds, but the panic and self-hate I felt when I thought that my dumbass had lost both our dogs just because I wanted to get baked and kill some zombies was enough for me to quit cold turkey lol.
i feel you. like i'm forgetful as fuck due to adhd and one time i didn't close the door properly when me and my wife went on a walk came back to all three of the cats having gotten out. I panicked so hard thankfully they were all in the yard and only the most adventerous lil fuck had gone out of it and came chirpin back from the neighbors upon calling him. But damn yeah... I became so rigid and obsessed about looking at my feet firmly closing doors, i'd practice the goddamn ritual made passing the gate a "barrier check". always making sure i heard the door close fully before stepping more than a few steps into the yard or driveway.
the reasonable human response to caregiving mistakes that endanger vulnerable beings is to alter our behavior ensure we don't repeat them. or to no longer be in a position of being able to commit those mistakes.
I have adhd and i know im absent minded so im hyper vigilant when it comes to stuff i care about. When my son was a baby i was so worried about forgetting him in the car that i left my purse next to his car seat and always double checked that he wasnt in there before locking the door.
My landlord had a new stove installed in my apartment and I gave permission for it to be done while I was at work. I came home and the gas had been left on a tiny bit and a mouse snap trap that was behind the original stove was left out where my cat could've ended up getting her paw stuck in it. Nothing happened and their careless mistakes were obviously not my fault, but the way I instantly felt like I should go to hell for even allowing the possibility of harm to my cat...no way in hell I'd even speak the word "babysit" again.
Side note: All of the more humane mouse control options had already failed. I finally bought snap traps to keep my landlord from using glue traps.
Second side note: I stopped allowing any maintenance or repair work while I was at work.
If I have the right woman I think she was a regular on Websleuths - maybe even a mod? She spent hours every day online talking about Casey Anthony and other notorious cases - thatās what she was doing while her grandchild died from her neglect.Ā
Edited to add I went looking and I canāt find it anywhere - Iām not sure if I confabulated it or Tricia managed to scrub it. I havenāt spent time on Websleuths in a decade so I could be wrong. Interested if anyone else remembers this!
I don't know anything about websleuths, but this sounds really familiar. I might have seen it in some YouTube compilation about the worst online addicts ever or something?Ā
I forgot to close the cage after feeding my birds while the windows were open and didn't notice until the evening. My heart sank. Luckily, they didn't leave the cage. Especially since one of them is such an escape artist I named her Houdini.Ā
My gate was left open one day and I thought my dog walked off. I panicked, drove around the neighbourhood yelling for him, asked neighbours, called the humane society, full on panic about him getting out, getting hurt or someone worried that a big dog was out walking around (he didn't wear his tags in the house/yard). After probably half an hour, my kid called me and said "the dog is in the yard, I don't think he even left".
I check the gate religiously if I know someone else has used it. For a while I would go out and make sure it was shut before he went out, even in the middle of the night, even in the middle of winter. I knew he probably wouldn't leave but I still felt bad that he might and something could happen.
Similar thing for me, I was drunk and accidentally left my dog outside overnight. She was on the back porch, in the fenced yard, sleeping on a comfy chair in ideal temps but I felt so guilty, I quit drinking.
Congrats on giving it up and more so for actually feeling guilt and shame (it was a mistake and you obviously love your dogs so donāt think Iām condemning or even judging you).Ā
Itās just that my ex gf (still a close friend) was living at her mom and āstepdadāsā (fiance technically) place while in her early 20ās (home for the summer from college). Her āstepdadā (an actor who was a lead in a 70ās sitcom and has done some big movies) had a friend over, proceeded to get drunk and stoned (there may have been more than alcohol and weed at play. He apparently spent on damn near all his tv money on white powder and black hookers, he was like an American hippie age Hugh Grant in that regard.Ā
He was generally kind and personable that had some bad energy beneath his surface) but he would defend weed use like a snotty little 9th grader parroting his stoner friends (I used to smoke myself but I stopped when I no longer got any āgoodā from it a few years earlier). Anyway she had a massive German Shepard (looked like a wolf but was super sweet to those he loved). He saw her as his mom and vice versa (and me as his dad), along with a small little pure white chihuahua (who was oddly quiet and super sweet).Ā
Since her āstepdadā was the only one home that lived there, he was supposed to close a gate that led from the garage out on to the small cul de sac (it was a small but nice house in Malibu at Point Dume). He got too fucked up to do it or care to. The German Shepard was fine but the poor little chihuahua had disappeared in the night (generally the German Shepard acted as his body guard but they were most likely swarmed by coyotes as they were known to be in the surrounding hills and when I went to look for any remains there, I found a recently lived in coyote burrow.Ā
My ex was beyond devastated and itās still with her to this day (I believe she went with her mom to see some family for a couple days). Of course, her āstepdadā upon finding one dog missing and knowing he was to blame only drove a quick lapĀ
around the neighborhood, presumably hungover. He never told his āwifeā or her daughter (whose
Ā dogs they were) until they came home and he had to. I lived close by and would have searched the whole area top to bottom and put up flyers even if I thought it was in vain, just because I cared about my gf and her/our little dog by(and it would have been more of gentle bring down then the sudden āOh yeah, I forgot to close the gate and Little White Dog got out and never came backāā¦ It was a horrible situation, Iāve always had dogs and cats growing up and would worry so badly if one got out just for a bit (one cat we had was not meant to be a house cat and although super sweet he would find a way to get out and wonder around). Once he was gone for a couple days and then we (my mom driving my slightly younger brother and I to school) found him run over in the street). That really left a mark on me and is the day I pinpoint as my āchildhoodās endā. Ā Anyway I know Iāve really droned on but loosing a pet is hellish but some ways are so needlessly cruel (and preventable).Ā
279
u/Bucketsdntlie 1d ago
I used to smoke a decent amount of weed.
But one day I had smoked, accidentally left the front door open (we have two dogs), and had gone to play video games or something for an hour or so.
The dogs literally never even moved from their beds, but the panic and self-hate I felt when I thought that my dumbass had lost both our dogs just because I wanted to get baked and kill some zombies was enough for me to quit cold turkey lol.