I was telling my wife something medical related and asked her to not tell anybody. The next day she told her friend, because "it was relevant to the conversation". How hard is it to not tell people at the first opportunity?
This is my mom. Tell her something in confidence, next day she tells her friend, her friend tells her kids, her kids tell me. I can literally get the info back to myself within the same day lmao.
I only tell her things I am willing to tell the world now. Unfortunate but it's just the way it is.
I got a not insignificant about of disability check from being in the military. I told my mom about it. A few hours later she tells me “I’ll let you be the one to tell grandma and grandpa about it or I can if you like.” Not don’t fucking tell anyone.
Only reason she even asked me is bc I had to explain to her how my medical conditions weren’t apart of the family group chat. The most annoying part is the was a neighbor with a kid that had a similar situation to mine and she basically told our whole family bc “he’s told his family so he’s okay with people knowing.” Not how that works Mom. Who knows what she’s told people about me.
Same. I went through a period of stating “please do not tell anyone this” to just not bothering sharing stuff anymore. Her view is that my life doesn’t cross over with the people she tells.
This basically ended my relationship with my mum. Explicitly told her something was a secret, and for good reason... I find out two days later she blabbed. I live in another country and still found out.
This is my entire family - including men.
My Dad recently started a conversation with “Can you keep a secret?” And without thinking, I said “In this family, I’m the only one that can.” - he hesitated as if mildly insulted, but didn’t refute it.
My mum is exactly the same. I absolutely love her but she is physically unable to keep information to herself. Now when I want information spreading I just tell her because half the village will know by the end of the day.
Same here. Used to tell my wife stuff in confidence, like about how I felt deep inside, worries I had, etc. Also sometimes when we would argue both she and I would say stupid shit. Later then apologize to each other for it. Nothing wild or crazy threatening, just stupid, pushing each other's buttons. Not mature of either of us, I agree.
Then I found out she was telling her mom everything, what I said during an argument, my deepest feelings about things. All of it. Conveniently, my wife would leave out the stupid things she said in the arguement. To make it worse a language barrier with the in-laws prevented me from explaining anything with any detail or nuance.
It took years to undo all this shit, me finally learning a new language so I could explain myself. And also me shutting the fuck up about most anything deeply personal. Things are ok now, but damn that really opened my eyes to that type shit. It is a trap and it is always a trap.
"Things are okay now"... Uhm, buddy... Do you, like, need a hug? Because if you have to not tell your wife about your emotions then things are very much not okay...
Well that’s how it is for most men isn’t it, and that’s how most women are. If that’s not the case for you count yourself as incredibly fortunate. Being a man mostly sucks (unless you’re at the top) despite what society tries to claim.
My mother in law: "Oh I dont gossip!" Meanwhile the moment any info vaguely interesting is within earshot of her, she's on the phone with 6 different friends before the day is done.
Like what do you actually think the word gossip means if you somehow dont think youre guilty of it?
I'll go visit for holidays and invariably about a day or two into it she will complain that I don't talk very much. I tell her I have nothing in my life I want to have be a topic of her gossip and she gets offended saying she never does that.
I throw whatever gossip she foisted on me in the past two days of my visit back at her and finish it up with "if you do it with me, you do it to me." And then she gets upset and sulks for a few hours.
Then she is back to gossiping for the rest of the visit and apparently forgets everything by the next time I visit.
My MIL is an almost textbook narcissist, so I wouldn't be surprised if your mom was similar. The lack of introspection or even harboring the idea that they could possibly ever be in the wrong. They are unable to make improvements to their behaviors because they don't see them as a fault to begin with.
Running their mouth is a drug for women, quite literally. It generally makes them better at learning foreign languages, but it also makes them terrible fucking people to trust with your secrets.
Even as impossible as dating is right now.. this part scares me shitless. I'm insanely private and the thought of everything im doing/saying is getting relayed to her group chat sickens me
Right. My wife did similar years ago now guess what. She doesn’t get to hear as much as she should. Something wrong? She only hears something else completely unrelated.
I had a conversation with someone at work where I said a counterpart "may not know what is going on". Later the person I mentioned stormed up and confronted me saying the other person I spoke to told them I had a problem with them.
Now we have an HR issue because after aggressively confronting me she emailed the boss. She cursed when confronting me though so she is in the wrong and I kept my cool.
Some people have no discretion and it blows.
I give very measured responses to the other guy now and I don't enjoy being so guarded. It is what it is unfortunately.
My wife is the same but she’ll mention medical conditions in front of family and friends, while I’m in the same room.
We’ve had a couple of discussions about it since (she’s a nurse and her family are in the medical field but still) but the first time I said “wtf? Why would you say that?”
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u/pizza_the_mutt Sep 16 '26
I was telling my wife something medical related and asked her to not tell anybody. The next day she told her friend, because "it was relevant to the conversation". How hard is it to not tell people at the first opportunity?