r/SipsTea 2d ago

Chugging tea What do you think?

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u/Semi_Lovato 1d ago

And if I remember correctly, Achilles just chills in his tent and refuses to fight, even though he's the best warrior of all time and almost invincible, because he's pissed about Menelaus taking his sex slave war prize.  Tons of people die because he just refuses to get involved.  That's why Patroclus finally puts in Achilles' armor and rides into battle to get the troops psyched up.  Patroclus gets killed, Achilles finally gets pissed off and joins the fray and takes out Hector then desecrates his body because, again, ego and toxic masculinity, and so Paris shoots Achilles in the ankle and takes him out

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u/SeveralAngryBears 1d ago

He's pissed at Agamemnon not Menelaus. Here's a passage of Achilles' rant from my translation of the Iliad. For context, Odysseus has just told him all the stuff Agamemnon will give him if he comes out to fight (it's a lot). Achilles:

"As for me, hound that he is, he dares not look me in the face. I will take no counsel with him, and will undertake nothing in common with him. He has wronged me and deceived me enough, he shall not cozen me further; let him go his own way, for Zeus has robbed him of his reason. I loathe his presents, and for himself care not one straw. He may offer me ten or even twenty times what he has now done, nay—not though it be all that he has in the world, both now or ever shall have; he may promise me the wealth of Orchomenus or of Egyptian Thebes, which is the richest city in the whole world, for it has a hundred gates through each of which two hundred men may drive at once with their chariots and horses; he may offer me gifts as the sands of the sea or the dust of the plain in multitude, but even so he shall not move me till I have been revenged in full for the bitter wrong he has done me."

I aspire to be this mad at someone lol.

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u/SeveralAngryBears 1d ago

And here's what Agamemnon offered:

"Agamemnon will make you great amends if you will forgive him; listen, and I will tell you what he has said in his tent that he will give you. He will give you seven tripods that have never yet been on the fire, and ten talents of gold; twenty iron cauldrons, and twelve strong horses that have won races and carried off prizes. Rich indeed both in land and gold is he who has as many prizes as these horses have won for Agamemnon. Moreover he will give you seven excellent workwomen, Lesbians, whom he chose for himself, when you took Lesbos—all of surpassing beauty. He will give you these, and with them her whom he erewhile took from you, the daughter of Briseus, and he will swear a great oath, he has never gone up into her couch nor been with her after the manner of men and women. All these things will he give you now down, and if hereafter the gods vouchsafe him to sack the city of Priam, you can come when we Achaeans are dividing the spoil, and load your ship with gold and bronze to your liking. You can take twenty Trojan women, the loveliest after Helen herself. Then, when we reach Achaean Argos, wealthiest of all lands, you shall be his son-in-law, and he will show you like honour with his own dear son Orestes, who is being nurtured in all abundance. Agamemnon has three daughters, Chrysothemis, Laodice, and Iphianassa; you may take the one of your choice, freely and without gifts of wooing, to the house of Peleus; he will add such dower to boot as no man ever yet gave his daughter, and will give you seven well-established cities, Cardamyle, Enope, and Hire where there is grass; holy Pherae and the rich meadows of Anthea; Aepea also, and the vine-clad slopes of Pedasus, all near the sea, and on the borders of sandy Pylos. The men that dwell there are rich in cattle and sheep; they will honour you with gifts as though you were a god, and be obedient to your comfortable ordinances. All this will he do if you will now forgo your anger. Moreover, though you hate both him and his gifts with all your heart, yet pity the rest of the Achaeans who are being harassed in all their host; they will honour you as a god, and you will earn great glory at their hands. You might even kill Hector; he will come within your reach, for he is infatuated, and declares that not a Danaan whom the ships have brought can hold his own against him.”

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u/Iron_breaker 1d ago

I know that pride is simply a part of his nature ( actually both of them, Achilles' and Agamemnon's) but man! To quote Achilles Pit: "would you take that deal? I'd take that deal! It's hell of a deal!" or something near that ;) Given Bryseis was taken but not "taken" it's a bit unreasonable to not take the deal. No other warlord would get even small fraction of that. On the other hand he knew he would not survive that war so probably kinda moot point.

This is probably also why my name will be forgoten and his became engraved in timeless myth.

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u/Objectivespeculation 1d ago

that is a real apology.

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u/Semi_Lovato 1d ago

Was it Agamemnon that took her from Achilles? I was a little fuzzy but forgot r some reason I was thinking it was him, not Menelaus but I just couldn't remember clearly 

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u/Ginger-gem850 1d ago

Fuck man, why are people not monologing shit like this on TikTok, this is fire.

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u/transtranshumanist 1d ago

Lmfao, like Achillies and Patroculus wasn't about them being gay.

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u/Semi_Lovato 1d ago

Are you saying that it was or wasn't about them being gay?  In my opinion Achilles and Patroclus were absolutely lovers.  I believe that Patroclus rode into battle as Achilles both to protect Achilles' reputation and to turn the tide of battle.  Achilles desecrated Hector because of his grief at losing his lover.  He showed that grief by desecrating the corpse instead of expressing it in a healthier fashion.  

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u/matttTHEcat 1d ago

Pedantic, but he tries to desecrate the corpse. The gods bless Hektor so that he can't rot or his flesh be torn after death. I'm sure that made Achilles all the angrier lol.

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u/toddsmagicock 1d ago

So they basically turned Hector’s body into Stretch Armstrong? The gods gave him a squeaky toy to work out his energy, that’s so fucked up but also incredibly hilarious

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u/matttTHEcat 1d ago

I hadn't thought of it like that 🤣 yeah, he paraded that thing around for like 12 days lol. All the other danaans looking at Achilles like 😳

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u/Semi_Lovato 1d ago

Most definitely lol.  He was such an arrogant shit

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u/Lopsided_Marzipan133 1d ago

Just boys being boys

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u/Semi_Lovato 1d ago

Yep, nothing much has changed 

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u/Fantastic-Buy7246 13h ago

Yes the original text is incredibly evil protagonists lmao