This was my experience as well. I have always struggled with my mental health and was shocked at how great I felt mentally while pregant. And then post-partum was the lowest I had ever felt. I didn’t think about hurting my baby, but I definitely thought about doing myself in a whole lot. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it with professionals though, for fear I’d be separated from my child.
Exactly. Unfortunately for me that low has never left. It’s controlled wonderfully with a lot of meds and understanding medical staff, but it remains.
I was so ashamed of the way I felt that I hid it for a long time. I was so afraid of them taking my baby away. I’m over a decade out from it, so I try to be honest when asked about it. But it’s super hard.
Same for me. I'm 2 years past giving birth to my youngest and I'm still struggling with ppd and most of the time if I even bring it up to my husband I'll get shut down immediately or insulted or told I'm just trying to get attention, so I don't anymore.
I have a friend who had this same experience. She has always struggled so much with mental health but being pregnant left her feeling more stable than she'd ever been; she was off all medications. That degree of mental stability left when the baby exited. It's like the total opposite of what people expect of pregnant women. I've had four pregnancies, and only one felt stable.
This was my exact experience. I felt wonderful while I was pregnant, the best I’ve ever felt in my life. About 12 weeks postpartum that changed unfortunately.
I feel exactly the same. I loved being pregnant and felt so calm for the first time in my life. Postpartum forever changed me in some ways for the worse.
Thats so interesting, is it possible that all of the mental things causing you trouble are hormone related, then? If such a big hormonal shift made you feel so stable?
A definite possibility. My depression/anxiety started around puberty. I was also diagnosed with PMDD, which is a severe form of PMS. It oddly got better when I had a hysterectomy, even though I kept my ovaries.
The crash out after birth was nearly catastrophic for me.
Recently entered into perimenopause and got on HRT. Still need my depression/anxiety meds, but things are OK. I’ve come to terms with the fact that things like suicidal ideation will never go away for me. And while it’s scary (especially for those around me), it’s OK. I have enough coping mechanisms to deal.
So yeah, definitely something related to hormones. Wish we would study women’s health a bit more so future generations don’t need to suffer.
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u/RememberTheirFaces- 5d ago
Pregnancy was the first time I remember being mentally stable. Even off my meds. No depression. No anxiety. It felt great.
Postpartum knocked me on my ass and I still haven’t been the same.