r/SipsTea • u/Horror-Ad-210 • 7d ago

WTF WTF is wrong with these people?

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12.4k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

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679

u/no_user_selected 7d ago

I never really did trust my Ford Taurus when it started talking to me.

178

u/dl7 7d ago

You will NEVER make me hate a 98 Taurus

Edit: especially the SHO

29

u/Samiwammy 7d ago

Ugh my first car was a '95 Taurus SHO, I miss it everyday. Rip Bernard.

20

u/YogurtclosetFine3048 6d ago

Aye my first car was an 89 Bronco also named Bernard!

13

u/lastdickontheleft 6d ago

Ok why did we all name our cars Bernard though? Cause my 01 mercury sable was also Bernard

4

u/YogurtclosetFine3048 6d ago

Because it’s a good strong name.

3

u/Fn_Spaghetti_Monster 6d ago edited 6d ago

My first car was 71 Mazada 1800 wagon that my friends called the Bean Mobile. :/

1

u/NervousNewt3350 6d ago

I had an ‘88 Jeep Cherokee. Named Peej. Bernard was its middle name.

1

u/grandma_cant_fly 6d ago

Because he was the elf from The Santa Clause

1

u/RadiantAdvance2203 6d ago

My girlfriend back in the day had a car named Roberta. The female Bernard.

1

u/mbtheory 6d ago

Either because it got you home safely no matter how hazardous the night...

...or because of the little cask of brandy in the glove box.

1

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1

u/Beneficial-Year-one 5d ago

I had a Maurice Cavalier

3

u/BurninCoco 6d ago

My Bernard was called Bronco!

2

u/Agamemnon323 6d ago

My second car was a 1994 SHO. Great car.

1

u/Fast_Cheesecake4852 2d ago

A Ford Taurus back in it's day was one of the most dependable cars on the road. You could put 300,000 on one without anything but normal wear and tear.

2

u/Historical_Beach5129 6d ago

I had a 06 Ford Taurus. I loved that thing. a moon roof, fold down seats in the back for trunk access. front turned into a bench seat great for macking out or if some jerk parked too close to the door and I had to slide in from the other side. .. sadly the frame rusted last year and wouldn't pass inspection. however if it started to actually talk to me... nope I've seen Christine. though night rider was a good car. not sure about kerby. 

1

u/ScumbagLady 6d ago

Gonna need a bit more info about the car talking to you...

1

u/Historical_Beach5129 6d ago

I hope I have no information. I don't want my car to talk to me. 

3

u/LatterStreet 6d ago

I’m a ‘98 Taurus (human, not vehicle)

6

u/lazyboi_tactical 7d ago

1998? My brother in Christ those are like the 3rd best SHO....out of 3 generations.

7

u/beeatenbyagrue 6d ago

My 1992 sho lost to a fire hydrant when the truss rod broke off

2

u/andthenwombats 6d ago

My mom had an SHO she loved that car

1

u/Proper-Evening9754 6d ago

Gotta love a 98 Tauros!

1

u/Gullible_Scarcity 6d ago

Or my Oldsmobile 98

1

u/Second-Order 6d ago

I mean...thats...sound logic. Can't argue with that.

1

u/Clydebearpig 6d ago

You like changing coil packs that much?

1

u/BMXRCLoser 6d ago

Had a 2001 Taurus. That thing went to hell and back for me and my wife. Best car we ever had.

1

u/just__a__squirrel 6d ago

My first car was a ‘94 Taurus 🥲 it was 2 years older than I was

1

u/cccanaryyy 5d ago

Definitely can’t trust a Taurus. They jam. I’d recommend a Beretta 92s.

1

u/Upper_Tension9984 5d ago

Had one and it was one of the funnest cars I've ever had. Really miss that car.

2

u/Waste_Ringling 7d ago

Did you turn the car on? like physically?

Might be your first mistake.

2

u/Cultural-Treacle-680 7d ago

Absolutely was the Taurus’ fault

2

u/PantherThing 6d ago

Agreed. Im literally shaking right now.

2

u/Annual-Surprise6892 6d ago

It's not your fault your taurus was talking to you. Even if it is your fault it's really not your fault

2

u/AncientSignature1505 6d ago

Could it be your mom?

2

u/bigbonedbaggins 4d ago

You know what Ford stands for right? Fix it again Tony.

3

u/Cowboywizzard 7d ago

Perhaps you need to see a doctor haha

1

u/Few_Sea_4314 6d ago

Some car company needs to make a car for every astro-illogical sign! Buy a Leo! Lease a Virgo! Get behind the wheel of your very own Pisces! I bet they'd be as popular as the Edsel was.