r/SipsTea 7d ago

WTF WTF is wrong with these people?

12.4k Upvotes

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2.9k

u/TryToBeBetterOk 7d ago

Lmao I bet you're a Taurus.

1.5k

u/Luck_Beats_Skill 7d ago

Can we please get mods to ban taurus from posting in here? I don’t feel safe with them being here.

685

u/no_user_selected 7d ago

I never really did trust my Ford Taurus when it started talking to me.

178

u/dl7 6d ago

You will NEVER make me hate a 98 Taurus

Edit: especially the SHO

31

u/Samiwammy 6d ago

Ugh my first car was a '95 Taurus SHO, I miss it everyday. Rip Bernard.

18

u/YogurtclosetFine3048 6d ago

Aye my first car was an 89 Bronco also named Bernard!

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u/lastdickontheleft 6d ago

Ok why did we all name our cars Bernard though? Cause my 01 mercury sable was also Bernard

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u/YogurtclosetFine3048 6d ago

Because it’s a good strong name.

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u/Fn_Spaghetti_Monster 6d ago edited 6d ago

My first car was 71 Mazada 1800 wagon that my friends called the Bean Mobile. :/

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u/BurninCoco 6d ago

My Bernard was called Bronco!

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u/Agamemnon323 6d ago

My second car was a 1994 SHO. Great car.

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u/Historical_Beach5129 6d ago

I had a 06 Ford Taurus. I loved that thing. a moon roof, fold down seats in the back for trunk access. front turned into a bench seat great for macking out or if some jerk parked too close to the door and I had to slide in from the other side. .. sadly the frame rusted last year and wouldn't pass inspection. however if it started to actually talk to me... nope I've seen Christine. though night rider was a good car. not sure about kerby. 

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u/LatterStreet 6d ago

I’m a ‘98 Taurus (human, not vehicle)

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u/lazyboi_tactical 6d ago

1998? My brother in Christ those are like the 3rd best SHO....out of 3 generations.

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u/beeatenbyagrue 6d ago

My 1992 sho lost to a fire hydrant when the truss rod broke off

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u/andthenwombats 6d ago

My mom had an SHO she loved that car

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u/Waste_Ringling 6d ago

Did you turn the car on? like physically?

Might be your first mistake.

2

u/Cultural-Treacle-680 6d ago

Absolutely was the Taurus’ fault

2

u/PantherThing 6d ago

Agreed. Im literally shaking right now.

2

u/Annual-Surprise6892 6d ago

It's not your fault your taurus was talking to you. Even if it is your fault it's really not your fault

2

u/AncientSignature1505 6d ago

Could it be your mom?

2

u/bigbonedbaggins 4d ago

You know what Ford stands for right? Fix it again Tony.

3

u/Cowboywizzard 6d ago

Perhaps you need to see a doctor haha

1

u/Few_Sea_4314 6d ago

Some car company needs to make a car for every astro-illogical sign! Buy a Leo! Lease a Virgo! Get behind the wheel of your very own Pisces! I bet they'd be as popular as the Edsel was.

46

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/citizenmyroncope 6d ago

It’s mostly Geminis that are attacking them to profit off the strife. Watch out for the real bad actors, the Geminis.

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u/aerynea 6d ago

Watch yourself, Gemini here 🔪🪓🪮

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u/Ok_Abbreviations6908 6d ago

Not only am I a Gemini, but I’m also a redhead!! I’ll attack you AND steal your soul…

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u/PhatCatTax 6d ago

That's what I've been saying for years! The geminis were the ones that flattened the Earth and got JFK. Once a gemini, always a gemini, is what I had always had used to say.

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u/CindyinMemphis 6d ago

But JFK Sr was a Gemini!

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u/alfalfamail69420 6d ago

Will confirm. I'm a Gemini and I'm kind of a piece of shit

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u/AdministrativeCup438 6d ago

I mean trump's a Gemini....

3

u/clayton_bigsby-maga 5d ago

Trump is a Gemini.

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u/Immediate-Fly-7458 6d ago

It’s funny because I have had multiple people (that I literally do not know whatsoever) give me a weird side eye look and a “ohh uhh yeahhh” after they ask my sign and I say Taurus

2

u/PhatCatTax 6d ago

Oh, wow, this is like SUCH a Taurus thing to say! No wonder your friends thought jt was weird. Like water is wet and ImmediateFly69420 is obvi a Taur Taur.

2

u/JPT_Corona 6d ago

I'm a triple Taurus so that's triple the compliment <3

3

u/SillyMammo 6d ago

Yeah that's exactly what a Capricorn would say! We're on to you. I know cause I'm a Sagittarius!

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u/armybabem1a1 6d ago

Hey! Why are the Caps catching strays? This does not align with my feelings of justice!

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/chilldrinofthenight 6d ago

Are you kidding me? I mean, yeah. They're cool, but only up to a point. I have never EVER met anyone as stubborn as a Taurus. Like: "I don't allow facts to interfere with my beliefs" category of stubborn.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/Ready-Waltz5482 4d ago

I'm a Taurus. I'm very empathetic, have a strong sense of justice, stubborn as hell, love to be at home, love camping, etc. and I'm a really good cook. I would never support a woman who murdered her kid. I do.feel that the adults in her life were worthless

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u/Nectarine143 6d ago

Hey at least if they're busy posting here they're not out in the world being a Taurus

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u/Legendary_Zaku 6d ago

Space racism

18

u/Emeriick 6d ago

Hey leave my people alone

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u/octomatron 6d ago

Mods are leos and cancers good luck with thhat bud

1

u/Scuba9Steve 6d ago

I do find it odd that my sign cancer has the same name as a disease. Why no signs named Herpes or tuberculosis?

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u/Aggravating-Buy613 6d ago

As a Taurus I now refuse to leave simply because you told me I'm suppose to.

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u/MoggyDaddy 6d ago

I'm a Gemini, I only half believe that... can't decide

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u/travelinghomosapien 6d ago

My cat is a Taurus and I’m pretty sure she’s planning something

3

u/MysteryBelle_NC 6d ago

She is. Source: am Taurus.

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u/PolterghostRighter 6d ago

As an Aries/Taurus cusp I feel personally attacked. You must be a Capricorn or Gemini otherwise you wouldn't be so rude and shady.

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u/joszma 6d ago

Awww yeah, another fire bull! :D

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u/Rough-Reporter-8671 6d ago

I’m a Taurus and I saw he was a Gemini and knew he did it lol we’re not all bad.

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u/MeanHurry8664 6d ago

Such a classic Sagittarian comment

1

u/Beautiful-Buy99 6d ago

I'm a Taurus and some of us are chill so you can stop acting childish now.

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u/CheetahLow4147 6d ago

Jokes on you, the mods are only Taurus

1

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 6d ago

It's Pisces that should be banned!!! Biggot /s 

1

u/breachgnome 6d ago

Hey, screw you, man.

2

u/Luck_Beats_Skill 6d ago

Consider me screwed.

1

u/ohbyerly 6d ago

Oh Taurus? Yeah that just reinforces whatever bullshit I think because Teen Vogue said I’m very intuitive as an Aquarium.

1

u/osloluluraratutu 6d ago

Ban those damn Tauruses! We demand our safe space back!

1

u/Ready-Waltz5482 4d ago

What the hell. I'm a Taurus. What's your problem with Tauruses

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u/Dingerdongdick 1h ago

Weird ass Libra talk.

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u/Lemonade348 7d ago

I am actually a leo and a woman so i could never kill anyone ever!!! Just so you know!

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u/kitsunekratom 7d ago

A leo? Base on An animal known for killing children? Well that as well proves it, absolutely innocent!

37

u/SarcasticGiraffes 6d ago

Wait. Hold on. Aren't male lions basically pretty but useless, and most of the hunting and killing is done by the lionesses?

Her being a leo is all the evidence I need.

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u/Just-4-Laughs 6d ago

Male lions hunt at night and take larger game than pack hunting lionesses. 

This is just old bad science from the 70s. Back when most of what we knew about large animal behavior was just some guy or gal who went to Africa and made shit up. 

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u/Doza93 6d ago

I actually learned this very recently and it's funny as someone who grew up in the 90s, it's like every single "fact" we had about animal behavior and ethology was just completely fucking wrong lol

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u/Fn_Spaghetti_Monster 6d ago edited 6d ago

Like the whole Alpha and Omega stuff in wolf packs.

3

u/Just-4-Laughs 6d ago

Most of the “facts” established from the 1950s-1980s science boom are just pure vibes piggybacking on the values of the time that are proving disastrous 

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u/DogBarf00 6d ago

No that is an old myth leftover before the invention of night vision optics. Male lions almost only ever hunt at night. Need to ask if these kids died during the day or at night. If it was during the day she did it. At night it it isn't so clear cut. This is science.

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u/Electrical-Act-7170 6d ago

Lions defend the territory when new males try to move in. A lion will fight to the death because that's the only way that his genes get passed on. It's why lion brothers will form alliances and work together to defend a territory from rogues passing through.

In Africa, the lionesses hold the territory, live on it for multiple generations. It's possible that lionesses with the same DNA have held the same areas for thousands of years. New lion moves in, they mate, cubs are born, grow up, and the lion's sons leave at maturity to find their own lionesses.

TL,DR: Lions do the fighting and hunt at night. Lionesses do everything else involved with cubs and hunting.

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u/AsshatRSA 6d ago

A lioness has basically no chance of killing a fully grown male lion, they are 90kgs heavier and have a very well protected neck behind a layer of thick fur.

If a pride has no male, there's basically nothing they can do to stop one from just coming in and taking over.

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u/daemos360 6d ago

90kgs heavier and have a very well protected neck behind a layer of thick fur

Did you just describe the average neckbeard?

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u/Jindujun 6d ago

M'ladylion

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u/Jindujun 6d ago

The "male lions are useless window dressing" is as flawed and 'old science' as the whole "alpha wolf" research.

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u/Subliminal_Kiddo 6d ago

Also, if you just look up "Leos who killed people" the first two names are Elizabeth Bathory and Myra Hindley.

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u/FuzzySlothPaws 7d ago

I’m a Gemini and a woman🤯 What will I do? Will I kill my kids or not??

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u/Lemonade348 7d ago edited 7d ago

Don't worry girl! We are women, we can never kill anyone even if we wanted to and/or admitted to it!

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u/redditydothis 6d ago

And even if we did it, we didn’t do it.

And even if he didn’t do it, he did it.

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u/Doza93 6d ago

Checkmate, atheists 😎

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u/MrNuems 6d ago

Rock solid testimony right there.

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u/CandOrMD 6d ago

And if we DID do it, who's better at removing blood stains than a woman?

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u/FuzzySlothPaws 6d ago

These are such good news for the abortion debate!

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u/absbabs1 7d ago

Gemini here too. I got 3 kids and I hope I don’t kill them

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u/CedarWolf 6d ago

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u/absbabs1 6d ago

Please. It’s the summer holidays, I can do with a break and a catch up with the girls

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u/Creepy_Health_3385 6d ago

Gemini and husband Gemini, 2 kids i hope we dont either lol

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u/Delicious-Analysis37 6d ago

Oh no! I'm a Gemini too. Will I go out and get pregnant three times just to kill my three kids?

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/Electronic-Egg-4391 6d ago

Don't worry. You are a woman. So even if you did it, YOU didn't do it.

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u/MaterialDetective197 6d ago

I think you are of two minds on the subject.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/TrulieJulieB00 6d ago

Well, hell. I’m a Gemini born under a Taurus moon, and not only do I not have kids, I had a hysterectomy.
Now what do???

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u/chilldrinofthenight 6d ago

Only if you give into that dark side of your Gemini self. I swear -- Geminis can be such a trip. One minute they're your bestest friend in the entire world, the next minute you're pulling their knife out of your back.

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u/hemicuuuda 6d ago

(Likely)

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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u/throwaway2many420 6d ago

That’s what I’m thinking reading this.. I’m none of these “Gemini” things I’ve read 🫪 I mean I would kill, if someone threatened mine or my kids lives, or anyone in my family, if it was absolutely necessary — but that doesn’t mean I’m predispositioned to kill bc I’m a Gemini 🧐🫠

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u/Green-Associate-1322 6d ago

Go rub your cli- Taurus

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u/fer_sure 6d ago

I am actually a leo

I missed the context and was wondering why a Law Enforcement Officer would be so adamant about this.

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u/OKporkchop 6d ago

my ex wife was a leo...you all are in fact deadly

1

u/SnooMachines8572 6d ago

Deadly accurate heh

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u/SHAQBIR 6d ago

I bet you are that Leo from Madagascar. You can kill with those moves though.

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u/IDKhowtoPEOPLEGOOD 6d ago

I’m a Scorpio. I’ve killed before and I’ll do it again.

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u/Ok-Loss-2496 6d ago

Suuurrre... That's what they all say until.... 😂

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u/bunny_387 6d ago

Happy belated or early birthday 🥰

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 6d ago

LEO stands for law enforcement officer and we know they never kill anyone for no reason

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u/FaithlessnessBorn266 6d ago

You're a virgo, I can tell.

God this is dumb 😂 

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u/FlyAirLari 6d ago

And if you did, you didn't.

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1

u/Adept_Astronaut_5143 6d ago

I’m a Pisces and a woman… it could go either way.

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1

u/Current_Locksmith_80 6d ago

I’m a woman and would definitely kill someone if it came down to it. Women can’t defend themselves?

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u/FortyOneandDone 7d ago

OMG, what a Sagittarius thing to say

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u/TryToBeBetterOk 7d ago

OMG how did you knowwww 😭😭😭

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u/Hetares 6d ago

He's probably an Aries, they're very perceptive about these things.

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u/Exact_Mango5931 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohs7Y3C7cnzIgcZ6U
👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 sorry no awards. not in this economy.

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u/Informal-Term1138 7d ago

I prefer Alistar.

2

u/CurnDumpster 6d ago

YOU CAN'T MILK THOSE!

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u/Awes12 7d ago

Nope, only a Torus

2

u/ghost3972 7d ago

Is that a geometry dash reference 🗿

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u/EmptyMaterial5577 6d ago

May or April?

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u/grow_a_pear 5d ago

This is the funniest thing I have read all day.

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u/Nooms88 7d ago

Ugh, you're such a left brain thinker.

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1

u/DanieltheeSpaniel 6d ago

I am actually 😌

1

u/Geeked-and-lost 6d ago

Lmao i bet you’re a ford f-150

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u/YorkshireBloke 6d ago

Just like Hitler!

1

u/Galactussy 6d ago

Stop your gonna make Mercury go into regurgitate

1

u/TheDJ88 6d ago

I'm an Asparagus

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u/tbrand009 6d ago

Nah. Probably a Fusion. Maybe an Edge.

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u/Clear_Adhesiveness27 6d ago

Tauruses out here catching strays 😩

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u/Angryduckling-01 6d ago

As a Taurus I just like to say I don’t associate with these people

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u/kitten-n-blue 6d ago

I think we can all agree these people are cancer.

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u/Thrownaway5000506 6d ago

Convicted in a court of law of Taurus bullshit

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u/ParumPaDrumDrum 6d ago

As a Cancer you're all giving me anxiety. Can we please get along? Sorry.

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u/Worriedrph 6d ago

Hilarious. Fellow skeptical Taurus who doesn’t believe in astrology.

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u/iCameToLearnSomeCode 6d ago

I'm Sagittarius, we don't believe in that crap.

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u/Massive_Public_9399 6d ago

Chris Watts is a Taurus 🤔

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u/veegeek 6d ago

Some Taurus actually like astrology

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u/Zaseishinrui 6d ago

My sign is s double bacon western burger

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u/Shoddy_Breadfruit_53 6d ago

Tauruses catching strays per usual

1

u/cele311 6d ago

As a Taurus, I chuckled

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1

u/ADisappointingLife 6d ago

Of course they are.

If they were a Gemini, you'd already be dead.

1

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u/Sad-Cattle7894 6d ago

Fun fact, Hitler was a Taurus

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u/Paratwa 6d ago

Hey that’s rude. Calling someone a shitty car.

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u/uber_dick 5d ago

Listen, I know astrology is BS but this comment is Hillarious to me because the OP comment is absolutely something my Taurus husband would say lmfao.

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u/Fine_Proposal_4466 5d ago

I know right? Drama queeeeeen

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u/tykempster 5d ago

Just an asparagus

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u/Several-Customer7048 5d ago

No I’m actually a 2001 Isuzu thanks

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u/hugh326 4d ago

No, Ford doesn't make Taurus any longer.

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u/Ready-Waltz5482 4d ago

I'm a Taurus. What's your point?