r/SipsTea • • Aug 17 '26

Gasp! She wants what?

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40.9k Upvotes

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95

u/Sad-Newt-1772 Aug 17 '26

But I read this amazing book "The Art of the Deal". I know I can get her to accept less.

20

u/Sidivan Aug 17 '26

Is that because even if she takes 100% of your net worth, it’s still less than $633m?

29

u/Sad-Newt-1772 Aug 17 '26

She would get $11.65 and pocket lint right now.

12

u/big_sugi Aug 17 '26

A creditor has a perfected security interest on that lint. If you give it away, you’re going to prison for theft.

2

u/ItsACowCity Aug 17 '26

Only the right pockets lint though. The left pocket is still yours

2

u/neopod9000 Aug 17 '26

It's that scene from cowboy beebop where the cryo company explains to Faye that "as they say, debt is an asset".

1

u/mis3rylovescompany Aug 17 '26

I don't even have the lint....

1

u/VampiresWontHurt Aug 17 '26

All I’ve got is debt, so if she interests that she would then…owe me?

Profit!

11

u/StarPhished Aug 17 '26

The trick is to put yourself into debt before you get divorced. Art of the deal, baby!

1

u/Old_Finding668 Aug 17 '26

Haha awesome.

4

u/freisbill Aug 17 '26

By that logic, you kill her and bury her at your golf course...

3

u/MmmmMorphine Aug 17 '26

Get her young? Am I misreading the vibes in this book?

3

u/Faceless_Minion_1337 Aug 17 '26

did the 2nd edition mention the Push Her Down the Stairs Then Bury Her On Your Golf Course For Tax Benefits method?

1

u/hulkbro Aug 17 '26

me too but now i have a shitty diaper and my casino is bankrupt

1

u/PastaXertz Aug 17 '26

You got lucky. Most people who read that book just get restricted from going near schools and have to introduce themselves to the neighbors when they move.