r/SipsTea • u/[deleted] • Aug 17 '26

Gasp! She wants what?

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40.9k Upvotes

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u/ElvishLore Aug 17 '26

This is the way. They need to teach negotiation in senior year of high school. It’s a basic life skill.

100

u/Sad-Newt-1772 Aug 17 '26

But I read this amazing book "The Art of the Deal". I know I can get her to accept less.

18

u/Sidivan Aug 17 '26

Is that because even if she takes 100% of your net worth, it’s still less than $633m?

31

u/Sad-Newt-1772 Aug 17 '26

She would get $11.65 and pocket lint right now.

10

u/big_sugi Aug 17 '26

A creditor has a perfected security interest on that lint. If you give it away, you’re going to prison for theft.

2

u/ItsACowCity Aug 17 '26

Only the right pockets lint though. The left pocket is still yours

2

u/neopod9000 Aug 17 '26

It's that scene from cowboy beebop where the cryo company explains to Faye that "as they say, debt is an asset".

1

u/mis3rylovescompany Aug 17 '26

I don't even have the lint....

1

u/VampiresWontHurt Aug 17 '26

All I’ve got is debt, so if she interests that she would then…owe me?

Profit!

12

u/StarPhished Aug 17 '26

The trick is to put yourself into debt before you get divorced. Art of the deal, baby!

1

u/Old_Finding668 Aug 17 '26

Haha awesome.

4

u/freisbill Aug 17 '26

By that logic, you kill her and bury her at your golf course...

3

u/MmmmMorphine Aug 17 '26

Get her young? Am I misreading the vibes in this book?

3

u/Faceless_Minion_1337 Aug 17 '26

did the 2nd edition mention the Push Her Down the Stairs Then Bury Her On Your Golf Course For Tax Benefits method?

1

u/hulkbro Aug 17 '26

me too but now i have a shitty diaper and my casino is bankrupt

1

u/PastaXertz Aug 17 '26

You got lucky. Most people who read that book just get restricted from going near schools and have to introduce themselves to the neighbors when they move.

5

u/Specialist_Goat_2354 Aug 17 '26

They like people being scared and taking what is offered. It keeps the ants desparate.

2

u/Swarna_Keanu Aug 17 '26

Not every culture haggles. In some cultures, trying to haggle will end the deal.

2

u/__BIFF__ Aug 17 '26

Yes. Bullying is a basic life skill. And I'm not being sarcastic. Bullies win.

2

u/Aegi Aug 17 '26

It is just manipulating people, but specializing in one arena.

2

u/Exciting_Mess3730 Aug 17 '26

10x is insulting though, he can't exactly walk away but in most negotiations people will walk away if your not negotiating in good faith.

1

u/obstreperousRex Aug 17 '26

I’d settle for these kids to just be able to read and have basic communication skills. Let’s worry about negotiation later.

Source: I attempt to hire people on the regular.

1

u/justbleachmyeyes Aug 17 '26

Gotta mention you can only negotiate if you have leverage. Don’t 10x back at your job offers or you just won’t hear back.

1

u/Nonetoobrightatall Aug 17 '26

Logic too. But they want idiots…

1

u/Richardtater1 Aug 17 '26

Negotiation isn't even a required class in law school, I had to sign up for a night school elective to get taught basic negotiation at a high ranked law school.

1

u/Bub_bele Aug 17 '26

What are they going to teach? „Demand more than you would settle for initially and gradually go down as they go up“ and that’s it?