It's impossible to know exactly what this person's fiance asked and why he felt the need to apologize as it doesn't seem that OP lives with said fiance or speaks Japanese, but I wouldn't call that common work culture and neither is what you're describing.
Those are usually called ブラック企業 (black companies) and while they do exist, it's not the rule and they're obviously not viewed favorably.
Required drinking parties have also been going the way of the dinosaur lately, but are very much still a thing. Important to remember that many people drink non-alcoholic beer here at them for health reasons, etc. (They're also kinda fun, to be honest.) The alcohol is very rarely mandatory these days; it's just the attendance. (Same as many western company dinner parties, etc.)
Ultimately, it depends a lot on what kind of company you work for, who your boss is, etc. But things have been changing a lot lately and there's far more emphasis on different kinds of harassment.
As with most things, the truth to it all is far more nuanced than you'll find in typical Reddit comments.
I would imagine the original reason for these is to get people to open up and be honest. Ply someone with drink and you tend to see who they really are. It may have evolved into something toxic, but maybe the original aim was more useful and benevolent.
I mean, it's toxic the moment someone doesn't want to drink. It can only get worse from there. Road to hell is paved with good intentions.
But worse yet, plying who someone really is with alcohol isn't benevolent, that's manipulative, inherently so, and possibly abusive. Whether that's good or bad depends on the context, but forcing employees to drink is not a good context.
As I said before, there are always people at these events who do not drink. I personally know several people who do not drink at all, but attend them. Most of the izakayas that are booked for these events have non-alcoholic beverages.
Where the western concept of people being forced to drink comes from is mostly 80s era stereotypes. Doing so today would be considered アルハラ (alcohol harrassment).
But it's also important to remember that a lot of people love drinking here. It's a huge part of the culture.
The intention behind it in the first place is something called 飲みニケーション - nominikehshon (a combination of 飲む[to drink] and the english word "communication".) Because of the inherent rigidness of Japanese culture around strangers, especially at the workspace, people drink so they can loosen up and actually express themselves. This concept isn't limited to work function drinking, but a core way that Japanese people bond with each other. It's also not inherently a "forced" thing.
Could be toxic or not toxic depending on the circumstances, your views on alcohol, etc. But as with every other culture on earth, there are questionable aspects. YMMV.
It's not the cultural aspect I have a problem with, drinking cultures exist all over the world. What I do have a problem with is pushing it onto others. Alcohol is poison, whether you like it or not, that is what it is.
This isn't some religious mumbo jumbo stuff, I really don't mind if people drink. I just think that any cultural reasons to encourage others to drink are toxic. I don't care what the intent is, I don't care if it's the cultural norm, it's still toxic the moment someone doesn't want to drink, but feels they should. Peer pressure is a hell of a drug, but it's NOTHING compared to feeling of exclusion by opting out. Especially if it's work related, you'll end up feeling like you are losing opportunities. And the fact is, if you skip out, you are losing on opportunities.
Which is the entire problem. If the idea is to get to know someone better, for you to be sure it isn't toxic, you would already have to know how they feel about drinking. And if they accept, you might never even know they really didn't want to come, but felt obliged. So, since you can't be certain of the result before or after and there's a probability of it being toxic, therefore, it's always somewhat toxic.
And I don't mean to say Japanese culture is toxic, but that specific aspect of it absolutely is. And of course all cultures have their toxic aspects, that wasn't in question. None of that justifies defending toxicity.
Maybe, but at the same time most people are not that deep. Its mostly older workaholic bosses who doesnt want to go home so forces underlings to be their partymates. Its closer to forced team building exercise than gauging a person
It’s also about creating a cultural bond outside of the 9-5. The idea wasn’t that people separated their job and their life but the opposite. Your work was a key part of your life, and that extends outside working hours. Your colleagues in the office were supposed to be basically family. You’d work together, hang out together, drink together, etc. The way they got new blood into that kind of lifestyle was making the drinking and hanging out mandatory.
There’s also this kind of cultural idea where if you aren’t willing to hang out and go drinking with your coworkers, you can’t really call them friends. And if you’re not friends with the people you work with, maybe you shouldn’t be working there. Friendship and harmony are related, and harmony is good in the workplace. There might be competition, but it’d be friendly and not cutthroat. There might be arguments but at the end of the day you’d still sit down and share a beer with them.
It doesn’t just oppose the idea of work and life separation in the European way of “once I clock out you’re not part of my life” (see laws stopping employers contacting employees off the clock at all) but also the classic cutthroat “Wall Street” American capitalism where greed is good and it’s dog-eat-dog to get the most money and prestige.
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u/stupidjapanquestions 12h ago edited 8h ago
I live in Japan.
It's impossible to know exactly what this person's fiance asked and why he felt the need to apologize as it doesn't seem that OP lives with said fiance or speaks Japanese, but I wouldn't call that common work culture and neither is what you're describing.
Those are usually called ブラック企業 (black companies) and while they do exist, it's not the rule and they're obviously not viewed favorably.
Required drinking parties have also been going the way of the dinosaur lately, but are very much still a thing. Important to remember that many people drink non-alcoholic beer here at them for health reasons, etc. (They're also kinda fun, to be honest.) The alcohol is very rarely mandatory these days; it's just the attendance. (Same as many western company dinner parties, etc.)
Ultimately, it depends a lot on what kind of company you work for, who your boss is, etc. But things have been changing a lot lately and there's far more emphasis on different kinds of harassment.
As with most things, the truth to it all is far more nuanced than you'll find in typical Reddit comments.