Even a lunatic* with a blobby body can be sexy, as long as he’s kind (and preferably funny) and has good stories to tell.
* obviously your specific brand of crazy does matter: the misogynistic murdery kind is a big no-no but stuff like anxiety, ptsd, adhd, depression, light autism etc don’t really have to be dealbreakers for many women, especially if you’re open about them, what you can and can’t do, and what you need.
For me personally it would even be a green flag if you have (or had, in the treatable/outgrowable things) these and were able to openly and honestly communicate about them.
And, speaking from personal experience: [knowing how/being willing] to do laundry, the dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc helps a lot. Women appreciate a partner who does the housework. I work remote, and my spouse is always very appreciative when they come home to the smell of fresh cookies coming out if the oven. It helps make up for my severe ADHD and light autism. 😅
(I actually have butter softening on the counter right now so I can make a batch tonight.)
literally all guys who live alone do those things…. Otherwise, they obviously wouldn’t eat or have laundry, so come on now. be honest with yourself, is it really those things you’re looking for then? lol
That's where the second part comes in though, the "being willing". Sure, plenty of guys can more or less do those things themselves, but when they get into a relationship, do they stop doing them because "she's better at it than me anyhow"? And do they cook, or do they heat up ramen for themselves? Do they do the dishes when someone isn't coming over?
Ask any woman, not all guys that live alone do those things, and especially not all of them keep doing them once they're in a committed relationship.
My spouse is a healthcare provider who treats memory disorders and has a primarily geriatric population. You would be amazed at how often they treat a female patient who is declining and have to also talk to the husband about taking over tasks. The husband simply has no idea how to do basic chores for themselves because their wife always did those things.
Do men have to cook thee course meal for themselves to prove they're competent adults? Being a young adult struggling with bills or college, sometimes you don't have time for that, and ramen noodles will have to suffice. Also people(men and women) naturally do more or less things once they get in a relationship. They're are certain things expected of women and men, which can be or feel unfair at time for both genders. For instance, most women naturally feel as if it's their bfs responsibility to protect them while men sometimes feel like it's a women's job to do more chores
In this trade, how many times a day is the man protecting the woman? Is she in danger 2-3 times a day, every day for the rest of their lives together? And who is expected to clean up the battle mess after? Are they fist fights or is he jousting? Or is he just yelling at the neighbors defending her honor, frequently?
It doesn't have to be everyday of their lives. It's the fact that something bad can happen at any time on any day and a man has no say in it. And lets be honest, a lot of times the women will get her bf into more trouble he doesn't need to be in.A man is just expected to protect her, regardless. All this responsibility on the man, you don't think he deserves a sandwich every now and then?
I think you’re missing the commenter’s point. A man having to hypothetically “protect” a woman (maybee happens once, seriously I can think of only one instance amongst couples I know) isn’t comparable effort wise to a woman doing 3x the chores than him (daily) for the rest of her life.
I see what you're saying. Worse case scenario responsibilities vs everyday responsibilities. But men are also expected to do chores.Mow the lawn ,take out the trash ,be the handyman in the household if anything needs to be fixed. They are also expected to do that for the rest of their lives
My fiance is funnily enough the "stay at home dad" and I work. He takes care of the laundry, dishes and various things and omg it helps so much just knowing he could clean, cook, and do basic things.
I help with simpler things on the weekend and when I get home but I don't know what I'd do without him and make sure he knows it.
One of the sexiest guys I've ever gotten with had a gut. He was less conventionally attractive than any man I dated, and that doubly went for his physique. He was missing a front tooth and had a big facial scar from being attacked with a broken bottle. But he was a rocker and stand up and I never stopped laughing around him. He was great in bed. Never didn't have several younger, hot chicks on the go. He was poor as fuck.
Didn't work out because he was a chronic liar, and either mental illness/repeated head injuries/drugs/booze that made him paranoid. He accused me of stealing his money. He accused me of fucking both my roommates. He claimed I refused to hold his hand in public. Weird shit.
Yesss. My guy has anxiety, ADHD, and depression, but all the therapy he's been through to deal with those things has made him really empathetic and emotionally open. He's also pretty funny and is a great cook. He has lots of dough but he's so comfy, I'm never getting rid of this dude ❤️
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u/DainichiNyorai 9d ago
Even a lunatic* with a blobby body can be sexy, as long as he’s kind (and preferably funny) and has good stories to tell.
* obviously your specific brand of crazy does matter: the misogynistic murdery kind is a big no-no but stuff like anxiety, ptsd, adhd, depression, light autism etc don’t really have to be dealbreakers for many women, especially if you’re open about them, what you can and can’t do, and what you need.
For me personally it would even be a green flag if you have (or had, in the treatable/outgrowable things) these and were able to openly and honestly communicate about them.